"It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life … you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like “maybe we should be just friends” or “how very perceptive” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman, The Sandman: The Kindly Ones"
- Steven Perez
Called the clinic to talk to the on-call doc, who just happened to be my primary care doc tonite. He said go to the ER, so that is where I am. Waiting for triage...
So I have cellulitis, a raging infection. I've had morphine, broad-spectrum antibiotics, nasty ass contrast & a CT scan. I'm being admitted so they can continue the antibiotics & a surgeon's gonna drain it tomorrow. Thank you for the love & support, y'all. It only gets better from here.
- Starmama
from FFHound(roid)!
Oh, yikes! How awful. Hope the drugs kick in asap and you start feeling better really soon! xoxoxox
- Melly Botts
Oh dear! Please heal without any incident! So glad you talked to your PC!!
- Janet-The Bottley Crue
Oh man, I hope they can get you on the mend quickly. How's your little man?
- Anika
from FFHound!
Hey Val! Thought of you last night when I was checking out Rob Dickinson's (Catherine Wheel) solo work on Spotify.
- teleken
from BuddyFeed
I do miss Catherine Wheel. Rob does good work but I miss the whole group.
- HAPPY VALZ DAY
I'm so happy that I got to see CW in person twice. One of the two times it was a 'preview show' where they were working kinks out of their Wishville tour. There's not a day that goes by where I hear Catherine Wheel and I wasn't blown away. Adam & Eve? Crap, I'm putting them on right now.
- Akiva
Not in a lot of pain - I've kept off my feet today. That said, I don't want to take chances. My plan is to call the doctor's office first thing tomorrow morning and take it from there.
- teleken
from BuddyFeed
Thanks Bob. I really have to watch this. Being old and sore is no biggie, but I want to make sure if this is the infection again, there's a chance to use antibiotics before we go back to slicing and dicing me.
- teleken
There is a very short list of folks who are allowed to talk to me about intimate, personal issues like bleeding from their ass, you sir, are not on that list, so I am just gonna pretend like I didn't hear that.
My alcoholic and abusive father left and divorced my mother when I was 11...I haven't see him in over 25 years. I grew up poor since he refused to pay child support. Now I hear that my mother is considering remarrying him. I'm speechless...
At least you're an adult. My parents, who divorced when I was 8 would still hook up from time to time and at one point mom moved back in. She left us with my drunk father. It confused and infuriated me. I have no love for my mother to this day. That warm fuzzy feeling you're supposed to have for mom, NOPE.
- G Dub of the Carolinas
I guess...I kinda feel like that lost kid I was at 12 again you know the kid who just shows up at the neighbors house at dinner time hoping they will have some pity and feed you cause your drunk dad took off and your mom is too busy partying all the time to even remember she has kids...ok I'm bitter. I said it.
- furrworld
dude, if she wants to fuck up the remainder of her life, let her. you don't have to be a part of it. if she doesn't realize what she is doing or how it hurts others, she never will. can't change her.
- Mary Carmen
I can't be a part of it and neither will my brother.
- furrworld
Well there you go. Just imagine how much less complicated life will be now that you don't have to worry about her. I know it sounds harsh, but she is making a decision that has some serious consequences.
- Mary Carmen
She's the only mother I got even if she is a sucky one..I will always worry about her. Classic child of an alcoholic.
- furrworld
Sorry I didn't mean to minimize what you're going through I think the main point was going for was I can relate.
- G Dub of the Carolinas
@g dub you didn't no worries. It's sad so many people can relate to this. I appreciated your comments. :)
- furrworld
This will be an absolutely and obscenely unpopular comment, and I mean no disrespect to you, but they're living their lives. They're just two kids in love. Like the rest of us. Take the alcohol out of the equation (and, yes, I know you can't) and it's suddenly not a thing. I'm a kid and I'm a parent; I understand the absolute disconnect that occurs when children start viewing you as a...
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- Akiva
I was thinking the same thing. Love does make people do irrational things, but then again, love isn't everything, which is something that people don't realize. Especially when you are a parent, and someone has done your child wrong, then love goes out the window. However, not everyone thinks like me, so this is when you get a scenario like this one.
- Shevonne
What Shevonne just typed. I'm terrified of Rochelle's fiancé. He's going to be in control of my children. I don't at all like the feeling of powerlessness. I'm absolutely desperate trying to see him as a good father and goddamn him if all of the evidence points to yes, that he's a good father, a good man. I want to hate him for stupid reasons but I can't. I need him to be my best friend...
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- Akiva
The hardest thing to do is realize your parents are people. Furworld, bounce that thought back and forth. Compassion for the failed person and disassociation with the parent part.
- Janet-The Bottley Crue
As much as I would like to say they are 2 crazy kids wanting to be together I will never get the memory of my drunk father viciously beating my mother in front of me when I was a child...not a smack...pounding her with his closed fists...that's not love and that's a big reason why I wont have anything todo with it.
- furrworld
I'm so sorry. I know this is something very hard for you.
- Shevonne
Knowing a lot of the backstory of this, I can say that this is not love. It is probably loneliness on both their parts. If I had to wager, I'd say more on your mom's part than your father's. You have to let your mom make her choice, just like she will have to accept the repercussions of those choices. Nothing I know of your dad makes me think he understands or comprehends what love...
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- Mary Carmen
Apparently, the brick wall jumped out in front of a car and exploded all over the place. Thankfully, the damage to my car is superficial.
- Steven Perez
INORITE. And this one has had it in for my car for a while.
- Steven Perez
That's what I get for leaving the car parked for most of last week.
- Steven Perez
And that's the thing about my apartment complex. Miles of wrought iron fencing all over the area and a nice extra-wide two lane street in front of my place - and there is always some numbnuts ramming their car into the brick wall. Must be magnetic to asshole drivers.
- Steven Perez
our local food bank and local women's shelter. mostly material items to those (supplies are seriously short in this rotten economy). as for larger organisations? Planned Parenthood got some doremi from us recently as did American Heart Association. there's others.
- Joe The Sausage
you all are awesome. thanks for this list. please continue to add.
- Marie
Our big ones last year were the local food bank, homeless shelter, women's day shelter, and a program for people transitioning out of prison.
- Catherine Pellegrino
what is a women's day shelter? i've never heard of that.
- Marie
Planned Parenthood, my college Theater Alumni, local classical music station
- m9m, Crone of FriendFeed
http://www.stmargaretshouse.org/ Basically, a place for women in difficult circumstances to get a shower, some food, some clothes, job training/search help, help with their kids, etc. Not a homeless shelter, exactly, but serves similar needs.
- Catherine Pellegrino
MSF. Planned Parenthood. My local NPR affiliate. Reason2Smile, my cousin's nonprofit linked to a school for orphans and at-risk children in Mpatwa, Kenya.
- Jenica
Lambi Fund of Haiti, Southern Poverty Law Center, local food bank, local no-kill animal shelter, Planned Parenthood, Free Software Foundation, Electronic Frontier Foundation
- Anne Graham
In addition to some of those mentioned, I'll note any of Feeding America's affiliates (formerly Second Harvest), LearningAlly, Nature Conservancy.
- Walt Crawford
Im donating time to the regional food bank. Very satisfying and no cash involved that I'd have to worry about.
- Okay. Uli
from Android
MSF, Capital Area Food Bank (Austin), Planned Parenthood, Southern Poverty Law Center, Heifer Foundation, Amnesty International, Mobile Loaves & Fishes (Austin), Partners In Health, Electronic Frontier Foundation, The Ali Forney Center, Any Baby Can (Austin),
- Que Sarah Sarah
Courage Center St Croix, Goodwill Easter Seals Minnesota,
- WarLord
I have a memorial registry set up at Heifer in honor of my mother. I also have donated items to the SPCA thrift store in Sacramento. Doctors without Borders (sounds much cooler en francais), Habitat for Humanity, ADRA (they frequently match donations), Planned Parenthood (the one I use will take donations directly). I will definitely do another event to get items for Maryhouse, which is part of Loaves & Fishes here in Sacramento.
- Corinne L
Samaritan's Purse, local animal shelter and crisis pregnancy/prenatal care centers, our church, some of the places others have mentioned.
- Rollin' in the LB
You can use http://www.charitynavigator.org/ to check out a charity if you're not sure about it. Local charities are also a good bet because you can get to know them and find out if their priorities line up with yours.
- <3Heather<3
My local Humane Society http://hssv.org, Planned Parenthood. Various local children's education nonprofits.
- Rachel Lea Fox
Amnesty International; the Brewery Mission (a local homeless shelter); some local theatre companies
- Brent
from iPhone
ACLU, Women's Prison Book Project, Kiva, my high school music camp, NGLTF, Minnesota Aids Project, Project 515, Center for Constitutional Rights, Planned Parenthood if they would stop sending so much goddamned mail and stop freaking calling me on the phone.
- marthalib
Oh, also, not a non-profit, but Wellstone Action.
- marthalib
United in Pink. My aunt started it. All $ the stays locally and goes to support breast cancer patients AND their famlies. Actually, we are having our BIG annual fundraiser this Friday: Bunko for Breast Cancer. We raised $65,000 last year!!!
- Jenny
from Android
And the local hospice. Theyve been hurting lately, and they do great work.
- ωαřмaiden TeamOtto
Local public library. (usually in the form of overdue fines but who is counting?)
- Hedgehog
Jefferson county (CO) library foundation, big brothers big sisters of Colorado, interfaith hospitality network, foothills animal shelter, the action center in Lakewood, CO.
- The Ghost of Library Past
from iPod
the animal rescue group I volunteer for (Second Chance Companions). the foundation for my library.
- holly #ravingfangirl
and the dog rescue group from whom we got Duncan
- marthalib
Local homeless shelter, National Network of Abortion Funds (one /of the groups they help was started by my great grandmother), MSF, assorted Books to Prisoners groups.
- laura x
from iPhone
I've seen much worse, but it wasn't my favorite. Prince is still my favorite. I will say that Madonna does understand spectacle.
- Katy S
i love it because the production was done by Moment Factory and Cirque du Soleil so i feel like Montreal put on the show. ya, i'm Canadian. we do that. ; )
- jambina
Girl, I was there with you and I wasn't crazy about it. I did like the Cirque du Soleil vibe but could have done without Madonna.
- Corinne L
I wish they would have just left the cirque peeps on, the guy on the wire was the most entertaining part :)
- Scott (Honey Boo-Boo!)
I thought it was okay. It didn't blow me away. It seemed awkward and stilted at times (pretty much all of her dancing) but she gets a thumbs up for theatricality. The stage was amazing. I think I liked everything but her actual performance. That and her new single. Yuck.
- DB Botts - Just DB Botts
It was horrible. And Madonna moved, well, like a 52 year old woman.
- The original Kevin
I was mainly impressed by how good it looked for something put on in Indianapolis. A very national- or world-level production. I wasn't overly concerned about the details since it's only a few minutes long, not a full-blown concert. I enjoyed hearing a few old Madonna songs.
- Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)
I did like the light show. That's about it
- HAPPY VALZ DAY
Considering I once almost made football (well, sports) my career, it's amazing that I happily didn't see even one minute of any of it. I was webbing, tryna decide if I need to mess with some php I don't know.
- Auntie Buttinsky Botts
I think I am going to build a trap door on my front porch and when peeps decide to ring the doorbell when there are two signs that say DO NOT DISTURB on it I can push a button and down they go. :- }
Do you think Barack Obama would have been elected president if he had relied heavily on obsenities to make his points? Generally in serious discussions and debates, the overuse of obscenities undercuts one's power to persuade. Lewis Black is funny (I'm a big fan), but I pay him no mind when I am trying to figure out what is going on the world. He's a comedian -- not a deep thinker.
- Sean McBride
I like how you place Rene and WarLord on the same level as Barack Obama, Sean.
- Steven Perez
Steven -- It's a generally reliable principle: if you want to undermine your credibility and effectiveness in serious discussions and debates, rely too much on obscenities to make your points. Most reasonable people understand this.
- Sean McBride
Which is why, Sean, I often dwell on the deficiencies of local physics whenever the hammer finds my thumb instead of the nail's head.
- Steven Perez
Frankly, I agree with LB. One has to actually grasp the fundamental difference between people who *can* make a point without relying on profanity like a crutch and those who know how to use profanity to underscore a point...like, oh, an exclamation point. There is a world of difference. Too many people get puritanical about it and refuse to separate the extreme difference in usage, and...
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- Prosey BUTTONS!
As an amusing example, one *can*, if they know how, tell a person to go to hell in such a way that the person enjoys the ride there. Sure, there is a wonderful ability in the power of words to do just that. However, there are times when telling someone to take a long leap off of a short pier just isn't quite as effective as telling them to fuck off. It's all in context...and the audience.
- Prosey BUTTONS!