My birthday is this month and I admit it, I kinda love my birthday...always have. Unfortunately I am not surrounded by like minded people. MAN isn't into such things and to top it off since I met him 14 years ago the week around my birthday has always been his (he attends an annual LARP and has since long before he met me). My mom is pressing me
I am so goddamned angry and sad today. It's been a year and 8 months since I had a steady job. Everything feels broken. I feel isolated and tired all the time. I honestly just want to give up today. I won't, but fuck, I feel like it.
So I don't know if I'll be able to vote today. I never received any election materials in the mail (other than my registration confirmation) despite being registered since last year, so I didn't know about early voting until it was over.
Tomorrow, Marina goes back in the hospital. She'll be going back on the same medication that caused all the problems with her heart and the seizure. I'm extremely nervous about it but know that I don't have any more options for treatment. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry and it'll be fine or just relax. It feels so dismissive/ insensitive.
This is more like a 'Whinefest' than a bitchfest, but the fact that it's supposed to rain tomorrow on Halloween, along with us only having 1 car, totally bites. I don't have a car to take the kids to school if it's raining. I don't have a car to drive them home if it's raining. I'm picturing a whole lot of wet and some sad kids for tomorrow. =(
Last night our youngest told us she had learned about words that sound like what they describe: onomatopoeia. I was rather surprised, since she is just 6 and I didn't learn that concept or word until I was nearly 12.
We may have reached the point where she stays in bed. The Hospice nurse recommended no more commode. She is experiencing pain. May need to start the morphine drip. Our plan is to keep her here. She still has her smile