Andrew

My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately. Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. - Andrew via Bookmarklet

"“i went to get some of the 2% milk i keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”" - Andrew via Bookmarklet

For me the funny comes from one person desperate enough to steal stuff...while another person brings lunch in a Coach bag... - John E. Bredehoft

” i found these fightin’ words taped to one housemate’s cupboard. we’ve had some things go missing in the house, so i sympathise with their frustration. but the funniest part of this note, i think, is that this housemate had previously called a house meeting to complain about the other housemates’ infrequent and only slightly passive-aggressive notes. she considered them to be lowering the tone of the household, and demanded that any issues be raised in person (fair enough) — but then posted this doozy with no warning. the 30 exclamation points are a nice touch, though.” - Andrew via Bookmarklet

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - BEX Happy Long Weekend

odd use of 'well' - Anika Malone

"WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A New Zealand man, spurned by the woman of his dreams, has come up with a novel way of disposing of the diamond engagement ring he bought her -- a treasure hunt. ADVERTISEMENT Anyone keen to pick up the ring, valued at NZ$5,000 ($3,268), will need to be in New Zealand's capital city, Wellington, on Saturday to join the hunt, the Dominion Post newspaper reported." - Andrew via Bookmarklet

A Russian man killed at least six people with a home-made electric chair, police have revealed. The power station worker, identified only as Dmitry K, is also accused of designing an electric carpet which would kill anyone who stepped on it. The 30-year-old lured his victims by posting an advert on an internet website claiming he wanted to buy computer parts, detectives said. Once at his house, he asked them to sit in an improvised electric chair before tying them up and hitting a button on his computer to activate the current. After the victim was dead, he took the body to a forest and burned it. - Andrew via Bookmarklet

reminds me: where is that brilliant collection of awful yearbook photos I saw years ago? Google is unforthcoming. - Anthony Citrano

Heh heh heh. - Stephen Mack

That's awesome (and Shutters a favorite local stop of mine) - Anthony Citrano

So here are two benchmarks we should all be monitoring more closely: extramarital affairs and the price of Latvian hookers. Both are telling us that there is still plenty of trouble ahead. These two measures were proposed recently as reliable economic barometers, and they warrant consideration. Economists often say “animal spirits” play a role in keeping the wheels of the business cycle turning. They have given little advice on how we should measure those spirits. Now we may have the answer. - Andrew via Bookmarklet

"“The Mafia is ramping up its investing,” says Antonino Di Matteo, a fellow Mafia prosecutor whose bodyguard stands watch outside his office door in the Sicilian capital’s fascist-era courthouse. “The Mafia’s financial managers are trying to invest now, while the time is right, so that they can launder their fortunes once and for all.”" - Andrew via Bookmarklet

The guy has a favorite crack pipe... - Andrew