"Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized. To celebrate, we went out to dinner at this expensive restaurant. After dinner, he goes to the restroom. A couple minutes later, the check comes with a note saying: "Thanks! Gonna enjoy bachelor life. It's over." Left me with the $200 bill. He drove. FML" - FFing Enigma from Bookmarklet

Depending on the state, you might have to be legally separated for a year before you can be granted a divorce. That's the way it in here in SC (I met my husband Dave after his separation but before his divorce was final). My sister has been legally separated for over a year and still no divorce. - FFing Enigma

Personally, I didn't enter into a contract when I got 'engaged', nor did I receive a ring. He asked and I said yes, that was it. - FFing Enigma

Kay, why couldn't a married person give a ring to another person? Or co-own property with them? I co-owned property with my dad while married. I wasn't married to my dad. - Rochelle

I don't know what legalities I have entered into as an engaged person...the ring was certainly not the first gift I had received from him and we've co-owned things for many years prior to the engagement. The state has no knowledge that we have committed to each other that we will eventually be married. - joey

‌‌FML RUX - Amir

I thought a 'legal separation' was announced in the public newspaper to protect a party from any debts incurred from that point until legal divorce. I think if someone is 'legally separated' can be engaged to marry another person? I do believe the laws do vary from state to state. - Janet

Rochelle you can. But those are contracts of a different nature. And I assume those were in writing. - Kay Designer

Hey, Kay? This post is from another site, this isn't my situation. I'm quite happily married (as evidenced by my referencing my husband Dave in the comment above). - FFing Enigma

Kay, the property ownership? Yes, it was in writing. It was the ownership of a condo. - Rochelle

I dunno. If a person is separated and plans to marry someone else and they call each other fiance/fiancee, who am I to stop them? If they want to give each other rings or spoons or dining room chairs, what should I care? Are you saying it's illegal for them to use the word "fiance" and exchange gifts with each other? - Rochelle

And for what it's worth, per the legal code in SC any items purchased after entering into a legal separation are not considered marital property, ergo any engagement ring or other property bought after a legal separation is not bound by marital property contract or law "SECTION 20-3-630. Marital property; nonmarital property. (A) The term "marital property" as used in this article means all real and personal property which has been acquired by the parties during the marriage and which is owned as of the date of filing or commencement of marital litigation as provided in Section 20-3-620 regardless of how legal title is held, except the following, which constitute nonmarital property: (1) property acquired by either party by inheritance, devise, bequest, or gift from a party other than the spouse; (2) property acquired by either party before the marriage and property acquired after the happening of the earliest of: (a) entry of a pendente lite order in a divorce or separate maintenance action; (b) formal signing of a written property or marital settlement agreement; or (c) entry of a permanent order of separate maintenance and support or of a permanent order approving a property or marital settlement agreement between the parties; " - FFing Enigma

Looks like someone's been burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrned. - Akiva

So if you get to call us "young women", does that mean we get to call you "old woman"? Ageism isn't cool. And I'm not sure why you're apologizing to us. AFAIK, all of the women commenting here are in long-term committed relationships. - Rochelle

Kay, I'll *reiterate*: THIS POST ISN'T ABOUT ME, I am already married. That is beside the point, though. I am MORE than familiar with "all this financial stuff" regarding marriage property and divorce; I have my state's legal code book marked and I use it as a resource like any well informed person should. - FFing Enigma

Kay, if you click the link (or look at the URL, at least), you'll see this is from a website. It's shared via Bookmarklet, which is shown next to the timestamp. It's not Tina writing it as a post on FriendFeed. The comment was also in quotation marks, which indicates it being a quote, not text from the person making the post. - Rochelle

Kay, I understand your position, but all I can say is that in my state there is no recognition of an engagement "contract". There is recognition of contract written or implied when it involves property or money. But simply asking someone to marry isn't codified as an oral contract: I could go ask everyone I meet to marry me with legal impunity (unless it keeps me away from my husband too long "Any person may maintain an action for damages arising from an intentional or tortious violation of the right to the companionship, aid, society and services of his or her spouse. Provided, that such action shall not include any damages recovered prior thereto by the injured spouse."). - FFing Enigma

Kay, I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out, but clearly even a marriage contract didn't prevent the resulting difficult situation. It's not reasonable to say that all men conspire and plot how to screw women over, though. If that were the case, then none of us should be in any sort of relationship with them at all. Things can fall apart in nasty ways whether you're living with a partner or with a roommate. And I'd be a lot more worried about dealing with identity theft, shared bills, and the security of my bank accounts (with any other person) than I would about being stuck with a $200 dinner bill or how to divide up shower gifts. - joey

Kay, by my ageism comment, I meant that I felt as though we were being talked down to, i.e. "you young women don't know anything". I didn't appreciate that. - Rochelle

Kay, that's a very giving thing to do. She's lucky to have you in her life. - joey

Hello. I am an old man and I am here to ruin you. - Akiva

<beep beep beep> *gets popcorn out of microwave* Oh sorry...don't mind me. - caj

Christopher, that WAS me resisting. - Akiva

I ain't readin all this shit, but I never thought getting engaged was a contract. Also, Kay needs counseling....just saying. On a serious tip. At least someone to talk to. - Rahsheen the Dream

Rah, she apparently has "alot of friends here" so hopefully one of them can step up and help her out. - Rochelle

WAIT!! what did I miss?? *sits down next to Alan Jackson hoping he'll share the popcorn*.... - Jannifer @wordsforliving

Can anyone verify that getting engaged has any bearing on whether you're married already or separated or whatever? I did scan the thread, but the game is on and.... - Rahsheen the Dream

*passes popcorn* It's Extra Butter! - caj

Rah, it sounds like it's state-by-state, in terms of legal co-ownership of property should you later split up, but anyone can say they are engaged to anyone else. The word "engaged" isn't trademarked or anything. There's no permit or license required to call yourself "engaged". - Rochelle

Yeah, like a girl getting engaged to a married man is obviously of sterling character. - Akiva

Lindsey, and so we meet in the middle. Howyoudoin'. - Akiva

Thanks Alan! what's happening? I got here late - Jannifer @wordsforliving

I'm with Lindsey on the character tip off. And Akiva. - joey

Jannifer, I'm not sure how it got spun up like that but so it goes, I guess. - caj

Just to reiterate: depending on the state it's very easy to go a year or more legally separated but not yet divorced. My sister is going on month 15 of her current legal separation and still isn't actually divorced (they can't afford it yet). Heck, in SC you have to be legally separated (i.e. you've filed and you're living separately) for at least a year before a divorce is granted unless adultery, abuse, or drunkeness is involved - FFing Enigma

someone accidentally pushed a hot button I think... - Jannifer @wordsforliving

Most certainly agreed, Glen. - FFing Enigma

Looks like it, Monique. It wasn't me, and I can't tell whose are gone... - FFing Enigma

I don't think my hubby would like that Mathew. After a month here - Some people I met here are incredible, but others really... :-\ how do I say this? They are really mean. Its a weird culture here. I did remove a post that I felt was sort of private and decided it was something I didn't want to stay up here. Isn't that what the edit button is there for? So one can do that? If that is not Ok- I won't post to your board pages here anymore.. I thought we were talking about something important about a blog post, but I guess I got it wrong? ( I actually meant to help - not to harm.) The other comments were in jest to those I thought were teasing and having fun with it. Then it turned into really weird scene. Words getting all twisted around the wrong way. Not the kind of vibe I like to be around.... Like a dark alley street mob. Anyhoo- I apologize for whatever.... I'll try not to post in your areas. Take care! - Kay Designer

pass me the *popcorn* - oh crap i'm too late. wholesale comment deletion gets a *facepalm* - Richard Walker

"Wow, Kay. I think anyone who looks as an engagement to be married as a legally binding contract probably should remain single. - Trish R" In other societies and cultures, an engagement is considered binding. And this is where our present society derives its understanding. Regarding Hebrew culture it was considered binding. A small ceremony marked the engagement and the couple was to consider themselves "married" in "everything except that which leads to children". This period generally went on for a year. It indicated that it was to be taken seriously and that the parties were to treat each other and the community with trust and dignity. - Melanie Reed

And Lindsey, A big "bingo" to you for your observation. Any man or woman who approaches another while still married (and there is a higher court that we are all answerable to on that one since He gave marriage as a gift not a contract or an institution you should break or get out of) is asking for trouble on a number of levels. This scenario is just one of them. http://mereed.wordpress.com/2009... - Melanie Reed