PROJECT >> Let's all brainstorm... - FFing Enigma

You can spearhead the ffclone project - The Real sofarsoShawn

Governor of Alaska? I hear there's an opening. - Spidra Webster

I'll go first: I think I should start a service where I give wakeup calls to FriendFeeders. My service will be ad sponsored, and I'll have to read the ad scripts over the phone during the wakeup call. In a foreign language. - FFing Enigma

Professional shark jumper? ;) - Mr Saturday Morning NFG

Person who puts the prizes in cereal boxes. - Spidra Webster

Concierge at the swankiest hotel in the city. On rollerskates. - Micah

Produce soap made of bacon and lol cats. - Peter Ghosh

Aden got me think'n.... Bill Murray's caddy - Micah

Professional crash test dummy. Wait, you are already skating :-) - Todd Hoff

Actually, I have made soap from lard before (and my skin likes it better than any other kind). - FFing Enigma

Fluffer for Muppet Porn. - Spidra Webster

Josh's surprise witness (wait, I don't think you get paid for that). - Micah

self employed bounty hunter - Mike Nencetti

Self-employed employment agent who provides self-employment opportunities to others—for a fee. - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Sock broker. - Spidra Webster

Hamster sadler and/or jockey - Johnny from iPhone

Akiva's new avatar - Johnny from iPhone

Snipe wrangler! - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Severus Snape's conscience! - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

rural mail carrier. you KNOW you wanna! - Vicarbott

The muscle behind FF's secret and less than subtle campaign to stamp out ALL CAPS posters. - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Go to China and become Government Minister of Derby Sporting Events. Then recruit Yao Ming to become Government Minister of Wrestling Sporting Events. - John E. Bredehoft from fftogo

Nigerian spammer? - John (bird whisperer)

*Any job* where you could legitimately say, "And then I had to portage". Alternately, "I crimpled the alloy fittings, then drop-loaded the twist iron." - Micah

NGO-paid Anti-government shoe thrower for the People's Liberation Front of Judea! - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

In northern Europe, apparently they have "Elf Certifiers" that make sure no elves or fairies are on a piece of land before they built stuff. That has to be the best job ever (if you get it, make sure to every now and then say that some piece of land has some elves...just for the lulz) - Neal "thePuck" Jansons

(I assume that Tina's not responding because she's laughing soooo haaaaard!) - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

James, maybe we're just making it worse. - Micah

CRANK UP THE FUNNY, PEOPLE!! - Micah

TANGENT ALERT: Good questions to ask back in a job interview: "What do you want me to do if I cannot walk to work if it's raining? Can you pick me up?" (more here: http://jobs.aol.com/article... ) - Micah

Tina's not responding because she was putting on a load of laundry. As that is an entirely un-lulz producing activity, you do INDEED need to crank up the funny! Oh, and I'm digging that elf-finding job. Wonder if they offer a class for that... - FFing Enigma

Search for ghosts in old buildings? - John (bird whisperer)

Spinning straw into gold. - Spidra Webster

Beer Vender at the Ball Park where you can call out "cold beer" during some of the hottest days of the year and people will always want you around. You'll never be lonely...or out of a job. :) - Melanie Reed

Ghost-hunting isn't a government job...the elf certifying is :p - Neal "thePuck" Jansons

You could be one of the bullets that the little triangle ship in Asteroids shoots. Then you'd get to smash planet sized rocks into bits while making cool sound FX. ^^ - David C. Cooper

Melanie, I actually sold peanuts at a World Series game once. I walked up and down the stands yelling "You know you want my hot nuts!!!" =D - FFing Enigma

OMG PEW PEW LAZERS11!!11! (I am in support of David's proposition) - Neal "thePuck" Jansons

Peanut vendors do well in the annals of music. "El Manisero (The Peanut Vendor)" was a huge hit in the '30s. And "Hot Nuts" is a well-known blues song. - Spidra Webster

LOL! This is backward! Tina's making ME laugh! - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Backwards laughing is all the rage on friendfeed I hear. - Micah

aH aH aH—Choooooo! What? - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Is 'backwards laughing' a polite euphemism for farting? - FFing Enigma

Who's gonna be Barfy? - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

I thought farting was a polite euphemism for exterminating remnant elves. - Micah

Dude, I'm already going on tour (well, Vegas) and no one's coming to visit me =( Perhaps the pity party will guilt them into the trip! =D - FFing Enigma

The proprietor of Fantasy Island! Who will be your "Tattoo", though? - Spidra Webster

Oh! Tina! You could be the Pithy Pity Party Planner! - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Now THAT"S taking advantage of a crappy economy right there! - FFing Enigma

I would totally go to Vegas if I weren't in the middle of a house sale/move, Tina. I'd go just to meet you (cuz Vegas ain't no destination for me). - Spidra Webster

Spidra, as someone now facing a 50% cut in salary, it's no place for me either =/ That's alright, I know how to score a day of free drinks: sit in the Keno lounge and hold a crayon all day. - FFing Enigma

Or the Whack a Rat at the Mendocino county jail! - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

I heard about an old bit by The State, called "Fantasy Isthmus" , where moderate fantasies can be had on a reasonable budget :D - Micah

Contributing editor to Dickipedia http://www.dickipedia.org - Spidra Webster

HAAAAAAHAHAHHAHA!!! The best part "The word "dickipedia" is a portmanteau of the word "encyclopedia" and the word "dick." Dickipedia does not contain information about people who are detectives. " - FFing Enigma

Generalissimo of the Slave Leia Army. - Spidra Webster

Man whore. Wait. Never mind. - Derrick

I play Princess Leia in a school play: we acted out the BBC radio version. No slave costume though... - FFing Enigma

You could be the Modern Major Inspector General of Avatar size, type, anti-bot, quality, relevance, freshness and adequate preservatives. Yo could also then get a multi-million dollar staring role in the sequel to Avatar since you will obviously be the FFing Enigma for the job! Congratulations Tina ROCKS - RetiredTeacherD

Derby? - orionstarr from iPhone

Tina, :) - Melanie Reed

Derby doesn't pay =/ - FFing Enigma

FriendFeed editor. - Rui Pereira from iPod

I'm game to be a FF editor. That means I need all ofyou to DM me your passwords. KTHX! - FFing Enigma

Turn a 'Out of order Toaster throwing' pro... - Abhishek from fftogo

I don't think I could do chipmunks, but there are a ton of squirrels around here. Wonder if I could start a squirrel circus... - FFing Enigma

Tina said portmanteau!!! - Mark J Severely Inert

I can't take credit for that Mark, it's a quote from Dickipedia. Which makes me chuckle just typing it =D - FFing Enigma

Movie watcher. - Kevin Winn from iPhone

Professional movie watcher with your own Special seats. - Brent - Yes I am

Arm wrestler? - John (bird whisperer)

Not so much on the arm wrestling, but I could go on the leg wrestling circuit! - FFing Enigma

Entrepreneur who starts roller derby league in Muslim country to empower girls. Wait, that's not ridiculous. A foundation might support. - Amy℠

French Maid. At least for the pics. - Josh Haley from iPhone

Mars Tour Guide! - Shane

Roughrider. Do you have a Panama hat? - Micah from iPhone

Josh Haley obviously hasn't seen my house... - FFing Enigma

P. Diddy - Johnny from iPhone

A serial stage name changer, Johnny? Ok, I get you. - Micah from iPhone

Hunter-gatherer. - Amy℠

cat herder - Rodfather

megabot pilot - Mo Kargas

Head Chef for a Rattlesnake Roundup in Sweetwater Texas: http://www.rattlesnakeroundup.net/main... O....yum. :( You ain't had a taste o'heaven until you tried our barbecue snake steaks! Heaven's they're tasty! and don't forget to pass a little of our Girl Scouts Salsa on top of that critter! - Melanie Reed

I could start a blog called 'Cheap Ass Bitch', except I'm bad at keeping up a blog. I'd have to hire a ghostwriter for it, which would negate any ad income it generated... - FFing Enigma

You could be the head of the All Wordy And Junk blogging empire. - Edward Coffey

I could just change my name there to CAB (aka Tina). You know, to keep things consistent. - FFing Enigma

TARD (Tough ass roller derby) Woman - adam garrett

TARDIS - Tough ass roller derby (woman) is sacked. Doh! - FFing Enigma

Perfect, Dr Who Geek!!! - adam garrett

Maybe that sounds wrong, but that is an awesome statement (TARDIS) - adam garrett

public relations. I noticed social media was already mentioned - NoahDavidSimon

I've done pr before, though it's been a while. And I'm not qualified to be a social media expert, I don't do Twitter. - FFing Enigma

@Tina, ok I see you working in a Communication Agency, more classic cloth, snobing accent, and talk with hand movement. so 2 job, MadWomen (advertising), Communication. - abdellah

Dick Cheney's Best Friend - MoTO Bott

Jazz Hands Instructor - MoTO Bott

Play the fool - gerald miller

Barry, that job would likely land me in jail. For many different reasons... - FFing Enigma

McDonald's is always hiring. - The Real sofarsoShawn

FriendFeed PR rep - (jeff)isageek

You know what's funny Shawn? When I first moved back to SC I was unemployed for the better part of a year and was desperately seeking something. ANYTHING. I got turned down from every part time and clerking job I applied to because I was over qualified. I would have to lie on my application to get a job at McDonalds =/ - FFing Enigma

Umm, if McDonald's turns you down, well that only leaves the oldest profession in the world...whhheeeeeeeee - The Real sofarsoShawn

CARPENTRY IS NOT AN OPTION!!! Wait, wrong profession... ALSO NOT AN OPTION!!! - FFing Enigma

You can become a bouncer for rich people. Whenever someone gets out of line, you can run them over on your skates. - Shevonne

@Tina, public speaker, you have the talent to make people talk , may be conference animator, etc.. - abdellah

Drug Kingpin admired, respected and worshiped by everybody - even the Drug Czar. - phil baumann

beggar - The Real sofarsoShawn

I could roll around downtown and offer to jump sticks for money. Yes, being literal here peeps, getcher minds outta the gutter! - FFing Enigma

aw, darn. - Joe The Sausage

Get a Taco truck with built in wifi and roll around downtown trolling the geeks - Tony C (Unrated) from fftogo

Or, I could just get some tacos! *realizes she's hungry* - FFing Enigma

mmm tacos - (jeff)isageek

how about this job. clean and maintain johnnys beard - (jeff)isageek

Meh, the commute for that one would be hell Jeff! - FFing Enigma

dammit, now i want tacos. - Joe The Sausage

i wonder if johnny can store a taco in his beard - (jeff)isageek

In the sky? Be a flight attendant! - Jordan Hofker

I bet Johnny could store a taco store in his beard. And in related news, I think I'm going to have tacos for lunch. NOM. - FFing Enigma

i think imma go get tacos for lunch after i see my pulmonlogist today. - Joe The Sausage

director of blacksploitation film remakes. "SCREAM BLACKULA SCREAM" starring Todd Bridges - MoTO Bott

New host of "Weakest Link." - Ladyepiphanybug

GOODBYE! =D - FFing Enigma

heck, i may be stuck with driving through at Taco Bueno. :P - Joe The Sausage

clown tamer - Capn' One Eye - adrift

You're smart, funny, articulate and genuine. So that rules out politics. I think you should be the community manager for breakfast. Or possibly lunch. - The original Kevin

I think you should go in to plastics! - Scoble, Alex Scoble

Submarine Race Commentator - Jeff (Team マクダジ )

Cult leader. I hear Byron Katie rakes it in. You know you want to! DM me for your free starter kit! ;) - Richard Walker

Manager of Manchester United when Sir Alex Ferguson finally steps down - so you may be out of work for several more years, but well worth the wait to manage the biggest club in the world right? - Patrick Jordan

Tina - Would you be interested in applying for this Continental Airlines position? http://ff.im/6S4bZ Continental is my favorite airline & has been making good efforts to relate to their customers. Their rep "CO Insider" has been very active on the FlyerTalk forums, and it feels to me like they "get" internet communication better than any other US airline. "CO Looking to Hire Facebooke'r/Tweeter/Social Media Guru" [Weatherboy, FlyerTalk Forums - 8/15/09] - Mitchell Tsai

Has anyone suggested becoming an astronaut yet? I could soooo see you in space. Don't ask me why. - Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life)

Underground aircraft delivery pilot along the slipstream of time. - Steven Perez

I was reading an Ars Technica article (about the directionality of time that someone posted here on FF) and saw this, and I couldn't help but think of you: Job Listing -- "You’ll be working for YouPorn as a Front-end Developer." http://jobs.arstechnica.com/list... (Corrected. First attempt pasted the wrong link.) - Mark J Severely Inert

Thanks for the referral Mitchell, but if possible I'd like to not relocate (we have a house and my husband has a job here). And Mark, I don't know that I'm cut out to work at YouPorn... - FFing Enigma

Mark, is that a Fluffer? - Ladyepiphanybug

IgorTheTroll zoo keeper - NoahDavidSimon

Tina and Heather - I pretend no specific knowledge. I am but a conduit, not an agent. :o| - Mark J Severely Inert