Chickens broke the Thinkpad 240's Ethernet adapter - which provides interwebs to the house. First sign of the apocalypse or they just wanted me to stop catching up on expenses. Thankfully I had a spare USB Linksys 1/10/100 PoC adapter. Now the CPU is busy handling USB urbs all day. Woo.
Somehow you know the ShamWow guy has escalated his criminal activities to off the competition - like Billy Mays (just kidding). My guess: Subdural hematoma from the luggage that hit him in the head on the plane yesterday. Who's luggage? Frank Stallone!