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[In her play kitchen] "Let's put our wine up on the counter so our kids can't reach it."
"He doesn't understand the difference between asking you something and telling you something. He says let me ask you and then tells you."
"Daddy thought I was being a sea monster. I was trying to be a non-thing, a thing that is not living."
"If all the planets were stuck together, that's how much I love pears."
"Why does she call bottoms tushies?" (There r lots of words 4 bottom.) "& lots of words for vagina. & lots of words for penis." (Um, yeah.)
[whispered] "I love you, star love. I love you, moon love. I love you, love hearts."
"Mom, I wish we just had 4 toes."
[Chanting loudly in restaurant] "ARMPIT EDAMAME GIRL! ARMPIT EDAMAME GIRL! ARMPIT EDAMAME GIRL!"
"Mommy, guess what's in my armpit." (Please tell me there's not an edamame in you armpit.) "Why?"
"Mama, I know you are not a fan, but I think there is a store with grown-up underpants with princesses."
"Buzz Lightyear is a boy. He's a really big boy. And he wears underwear. He doesn't wear a diaper."
"It's stinky in here and I hurt. It's stinky in here and I hurt. It's stinky in here and I hurt." [louder each time] "Did you hear me?"
(You need to clean this up.) "But mommy, I have friends and relations coming over."
"Mommy, I need to make a hole in the floor for just a sec."
"You know what? Is Michelle Obama one of our presidents?"
"Are motorcycles allowed to go on the sidewalk?" (No.) "Why?" (It's not safe.) "They could roll over puppies."
"I'm going to need some bras."
"I'm Green Lantern. Who are you?" (I'm Hawkman.) "No, you have to be a superhero." (Hawkman is a superhero.) "Okay. You can be Hawkman."
"Daddy, how high up is the sky?"
"You know what? Bikes don't use gas. They make gas."
"Mommy, why aren't any McDonald's vegetarian?"
"Mommy piggies have so much breasts."
"Hippopotamuses don't look friendly."
"We have all the assistants in Pooh. We have Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Tigger, and Piglet."
(Hey, peanut!) "I'm not a peanut, I'm a vagina."
"When I grow up, I'm going to be a worker. I'm going to drive a steamroller."
"This book helps kids poop." http://books.google.com/books...
"On Halloween, can we stay up late and see spooks?"
"I really wish that we had a race car without a top."
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