Ben Marvin - FriendFeed

Remember tiny owls? Fucklulz, who the fuck cares about SIFs.

2 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Freelance is just another word for unemployed.

2 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

BRB, getting my dick sucked.

2 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

LMAOOOOO LOLJK NIGGA SMH!

2 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Last time I cared about anything that any of you tweeted was 2008.

2 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Eventually Twitter will run out of usernames for all my cats. WHAT THEN, PRAY TELL?

2 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Making toast. By holding bread over a burning virgin!

3 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I sure do love tacos and drinking my own urine!

3 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Hey people that clap when you laugh, stop it.

13 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Just remember that someone, somewhere is willing to settle and let you rub your junk on their junk.

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Just a couple of dudes making music on their MacBook Pros. Ain't nothin gay about that.

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"They sound like Genesis. SEGA GENESIS!"

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

What happens to the cat's balls after they cut them off? Is there like some secret feline testicle repository?

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

DUCK ROLL!

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @Intrepidclass: making toast.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @CatrinaRibena: Making me some fucking toast.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @_____COLD: These mutha fuckas got me making toast .

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @ellisalicen: Making toast because Mommy said it will make me feel better.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @MaxwellSquires: Idgaf making toast

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I would pay good money for a Twitter app that doesn't show retweets or replies. From anyone. Ever.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Hang on, I'm getting a call. IT'S BOOZE!

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @lostorbit: making toast.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

It's literally impossible for man to comment on a picture of a naked woman without sounding like a creep.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @benmarvinscat I wish I could kill @benmarvin

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Has anyone made a joke about Adele being fat? If not, I call dibs on that gem.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Making a hot cup of delicious shut the fuck up. Who wants some?

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

A part of me wants to make a Twitter account for my cat. The other 94% of me wants to get laid again in the near future.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Happy Valentines Day. Ladies, TwitPic your cockpit. You know what I mean.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I once saw a petition to put toilet paper at urinals for men that like to dab dry instead of just shaking. I didn't sign it.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The Windows 8 dev preview refuses to install unless I put it on the primary drive 0. What a selfish bitch.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share