Bill Barol - FriendFeed

"Wait. Who? I-- Shit. I thought that was Maya Angelou." http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs...

10 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"Wait. You're gonna do what? No, I'm sorry, I was mistaken before. He's definitely Spartacus. That guy. Not me. Him." #1stdraftmovielines

11 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"The stuff that dreams are made of. Oh, wait, no: it's a statue of a bird. I think. I'm pretty drunk." #1stdraftmovielines

11 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects. {Points at Rick and stage-whispers} But this guy did it." #1stdraftmovielines

11 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"You're going to need a bigger boat, or possibly an armored hovercraft of some kind." #1stdraftmovielines

11 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

LA pot factory on fire: You know how people say "These jokes aren't gonna write themselves"? Sometimes they do. http://abclocal.go.com/kabc...

13 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

MSNBC grave-rob coverage: There's no story of human tragedy that isn't made vastly sadder by a hard cut to the freecreditreport.com guys.

14 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Pelosi shows political courage, says... Wait. What is she saying, now? http://news.yahoo.com/s...

15 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Jackson-Lee: MJ an "icon" and a "legend." Throw in "visionary" for the trifecta, lady. You're just doggin' it otherwise.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Something I did not previously know: According to Al Sharpton, Michael Jackson "taught the world how to love." So he had that going for him.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I'm so pleased Flavor Flav asked me to pass along this beautiful poem today. It's called "Shit Is About To Get Ill All Up In Here."

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I'm so pleased Flava Flav asked me to pass along this beautiful poem today. It's called "Shit Is About To Get Ill All Up In Here."

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

This just in from Touré: Overused hack pseudo-intellectual media commentator cliché of the day is NARRATIVE. That's "NARRATIVE." Pass it on.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Oh jesus fucking christ. #mjmemorialcoveragejustfuckingshootmenow

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

MSNBC: Let's see... Gloria Allred, Al Sharpton... I only need Jesse Jackson for Mic-Chaser Bingo.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

MSNBC: The Jackson funeral is a big enough event to render Eugene Robinson and Touré functionally equivalent. Heck of a job there, Jacko.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

MSNBC reporting immediate family to take solid-gold jetpacks from Forest Lawn to Staples, and will buzz Liz Taylor's house on the way.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Private funeral procession for grief-stricken family? Check. Live satellite feed from inside same? Double-check.

Tuesday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"Apple Mail To Do" folder? Gone. I killed it. It's dead. Because I am what? Yes: "Just that awesome."

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I admire the craft and ingenuity of Jacques Tati movies. What I'm realizing is, this isn't the same thing as finding them funny. #TCM

Sunday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"Well, of COURSE I was stalking her. I was HIGH." http://news.yahoo.com/s...

Sunday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I don't want to say I'm out of shape, but I did have to nap twice during the Roddick-Federer final.

Sunday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Oh my God: It's the first draft of Palin's resignation speech! Seriously! It is! http://trueslant.com/billbar...

July 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I miss Palin already. So I'm going to drink nine Scotches, squint hard and go talk to a schizoid. It'll be close. But it won't be the same.

July 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Palin: Was she reading, or speaking extemporaneously? Because she really shouldn't do either.

July 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Palin: Role of a good point guard is to pass the ball, head for the locker room and leave the other four guys to finish the game.

July 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

@ashmont They're talking about beatifying Cardinal Krol of Philadelphia, but I'm pretty sure it's because he found some guy's keys.

July 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Palin's talk about "enemies" makes me think of Nixon, but of course Nixon was a lot more huggable.

July 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

MSNBC to re-air entire Palin speech at 5:30 ET. Which gives me seven minutes to get into my Snuggie and microwave some JiffyPop.

July 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Palin solidifies status with base and others, because if there's one thing Americans love it's people who quit because a job's kinda hard.

July 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share