MADISON, WI—The holidays evoke images of carolers and hot cocoa, sleigh rides through the crisp country air, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. But for the four residents of a drafty little apartment on Johnson Street, such holiday traditions seemed nothing more than fairy tales.
- The Onion
<Robohunk> A friend of mine took an exam in his French class while on acid once. When friends asked him about it later, he said, "I think I did pretty well. I wrote this great story about a thunderstorm." The professor called him into his office soon afterwards and showed him the test. It was a piece of paper covered with the words "Noir noir noir, noir BLANC!!! noir noir noir noir noir, noir noir noir BLANC!!!" over and over.
- hoil
Slowly inching his segmented exoskeleton across the floor of the primordial waters, a local marine arthropod, class Trilobita, reported that Earth's natural evolution was "progressing quite nicely."
- The Onion
Once burdened with physically demanding chores, exhausting farm work, and other unpleasant duties, man's quality of life dramatically improved after his successful domestication of the common woman.
- The Onion
Given half a chance though they often turn feral.
- Brian Sullivan
Brian - that's only a problem if you let 'em eat red meat. Keep 'em on fruit, grains and fish and they'll stay docile :-) (No offense to the ladyfolk, I's just kiddin)
- Slappy Line
Вместо этого подпольные художники повесили плакаты с запросами «ГИБДД без взяток», «правительство для граждан», «строительство без откатов», «альтернатива на выборах», «веселье без алкоголя», «активная гражданская позиция» и т.д. Надпись внизу гласила: «Ты найдешь это в Сети. Найдешь ли ты это в своей стране? Зависит от тебя».
- bifurcafe
from Bookmarklet