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Benjamin Henry

Benjamin Henry

Husband. Father. Search engine home page guy.
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I wonder how much time the world would save if the left and right foot were the same shape. Or if my kids could ever put them on correctly.
You know you're a geek when watching your kids play a video game fills you with frustration. (It's all I can do to not steal a controller.)
At Starbucks for my late night caffeine rush. Guy here is watching YouTube while rocking 8 toolbars. As a web developer I am offended.
The 4yo after stealing my spot in bed, "Daddy, I need to tell the truth. I didn't have a bad dream; I just wanted to sleep with mommy."
Did I say 8!? *Sigh* It's 7. SEVEN candles. “@grace134: @bjhenry EIGHT! I haven't seen y'all in forever. My fault entirely.”
Eight sparkling candles; one big kid http://t.co/yaH08yS6
Super Lonely cat (TCFKA Ginny) at the vet. Finally not yowling my eardrums raw. http://t.co/QMUBi9XX
This is a much more representitive photo Jim Bob. The epitome of beauty and grace. http://t.co/Opa0ggQy
It turns out this photo of JB catching me lip synching to Journey will be the last I took of him. He died today. http://t.co/Nl4nsx53
Quoth the 4yo: "My friend at school is gone ... Yeah, I think she's on vacation. Or dead."
Don't slurp in public. No one gives a damn how much you love your coffee. No, not even the cute barista. Especially not the cute barista.
His team eliminated, in the last year of his contract, season over tomorrow and Beltran is sliding into first base like a mad man. #sfgiants
What do bacon, bowling and homosexuality have in common? Klout has the answer: http://twitpic.com/6rhymd
What do bacon, bowling and homosexuality have in common? Klout has the answer: http://t.co/vB5sccQ7
At game #1 of a soccer triple header. The brilliant league here scheduled two games 7 hours apart for 4&5yo girls.
Oh, right. He, @childsplayx3, wanted me to say he's alive and well. But stuck in the dark with 1.4 million other people.
So @childsplayx3 is stuck in the dark. And defenseless against ad hominem attacks.
The music at this Starbucks just went from Earth Wind & Fire to te Commodores. My mother must be DJing in the back room.
Unfortunately her mother is ignoring her too. Or maybe her ear drums are already blown.
Eating alone at 5 Guys. A 4yo is shrieking next to me. It's awful. Yet, I'm just glad I can blissfully ignore her while I eat my burger.
Do you ever feel like you are suddenly on the middle of a high wire with no idea how you got there?
The #sfgiants are averaging 2.8 runs per game in the month of August. That includes 10 games in which they scored one or no runs. Wow.
How much are they paying you? RT @elizzieh: @bjhenry This yogurt is a lifestyle upgrade.
Actually @elizzieh says things like "breakfast perfection" all the time. It's nice. It helps keep our marriage feeling new and improved.
Apparently my @elizzieh took a job as spokesperson for Fresh and Easy. That's good. I'm due for a lifestyle upgrade.
Choices like deciding to wait for the iPhone 5 to upgrade my 3 year old phone. I could be ignoring my kids with much better phone right now.
A second consecutive evening at the mall playground will make you question your life choices. http://t.co/rd7ee0l
After firing the dart gun, Golden Boy yelled, "now everyone sees the TV in 3D!" http://t.co/3HEi2wV
Is there any point to having 6 & 7 year olds do sit ups at soccer practice? Or are these coaches just milking the clock?
.@drcdiva well, he's attempting to invade Pleasanton, CA. With a small army of shrieking banshees.
Also, eardrums just destroyed by 1000 screaming 12 year old girls.
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