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"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." - George Carlin
"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
@BloodCarnage Ha ha!! Wicked, hey?!
@premcv hey thanks!!!
RT @premcv: Just nominated @alicam for Funniest Tweet http://mashable.com/owa/ #openwebawards
Hardest tongue twister in (UK) English: "The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick." Darn hard!
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born." - Rodney Dangerfield
"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot." - Rodney Dangerfield
Your name was...? #threewordsaftersex
@_andrew_g Fall Out Who?? "I'm too old for dis shit!" (hattip: Danny Glover)
RT @rod_benson: Woke up feeling like an English Catholic emo lost on Oxford Street without sharps. [Gonna need some time to decipher that!]
@firstdogonmoon Those yanks are an excitable bunch, aren't they??
@_andrew_g I know it's not.... but the rhythm sounded kinda close.
@_andrew_g La Grange by ZZ Top???
@pjhelliar ... and that's just your first story :)
@alexkidman Your kids must love you.
Writing my own Twitter app with the tools and automations that work best for me. OAuth + Kohana, etc... should be pretty nice.
"People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older - they're cramming for their final exam." - George Carlin
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?- Groucho Marx
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose." - Steven Wright
How long before the movie is out, do you think??? Cynical bastard that I am!! http://bit.ly/43BbHz
"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke." - Groucho Marx
"If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you." - Groucho Marx
Any Twitter DM today about an IQ quiz is a PHISHING scam. Ignore it!
The only spoil sports are flies that won't leave my psoriasis alone. Forgot the fly spray ;(
@patrickallmond melb au ;)
@CarolesRants ratio: 1 adult to 5 kids. Easier, all things considered, to stay out of the water and in the shade!
"I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." - Groucho Marx
@Guruelaine Doesn't it just!
RT @perfectly: Tenth school for overseas students collapses - Sydney Morning Herald - http://www.smh.com.au/nationa... (via @aubrk)
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