Sign in or Join FriendFeed
FriendFeed is the easiest way to share online. Learn more »
#Cooper: Boy I'm tired! I was up half the night trying 2 remember something I wanted 2 do. Then it dawned on me - I planned 2 go 2 bed early
#Cooper ~ These days you can't trust anybody. Last night I walked in my sleep and when I got back someone had walked off with my mattress...
Imagine being the Michelangelo of this age and being so busy doing all kinds of good things that U never got around 2 painting and sculpture
We can end up missing the best because we got distracted chasing the good...
#Cooper: I sleep like a baby - I wake up screaming every morning around 3am...
I've just been reading about the store owner who got so busy trying to keep his shop clean that he forgot to open the door...
#Cooper: I found a way to cure my wife of falling out of bed. I make her sleep on the floor...
#Cooper: My wife has stood by my side ever since we were married... but then we have only one chair in the house...
#Cooper ~ My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn't do it, so for £20 they lowered her body...
#Cooper - My wife is always on a diet. She is on one now. She drinks 8 glasses of water day. She's lost 8 pounds and gained fifty gallons...
#Cooper - My wife is on a diet again. She only eats coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight but you should see her climb trees...
#Cooper - My Wife said to me "Do you mind if I wear my hair in a bun?" - I said "I don't mind if you wear it in a loaf of bread..."
#Cooper - The other day my wife was crying. She said "I'm home sick" I said "This is your home" She said "I know. I am sick of it..."
#Cooper - I've got the best wife in England. The other one's in Africa...
#Cooper - Two dogs looked up at a parking meter - one said, "What we've got to pay now..?!"
#Cooper ~ I got this dog for my wife........ I wish I could make a swap like that every day..!
Please vote for The Trussell Trust (parent of #Foodbank UK) to be the #Belling UK charity of the year on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/Belling...
#Cooper ~ Some dogs are pointers. Mine is a nudger. He's too polite to point...
#Cooper ~ My dog must be a bloodhound. Every time he bites me, I bleed..!
#Cooper ~ I've got another dog at home. He is a boxer and he is very unhappy... His trunks don't fit him!
#Cooper: My wife likes to fraternise with our dog. He even sleeps with us. Last night I got bit and up to now I'm not sure which one did it
#Cooper ~ I just bought a watchdog and what do you think he watches..? TV..!
#Cooper: My dog is harmless really. But he is getting on a bit. Yesterday I said to him "attack!" and he had one...
#Cooper My dog took a chunk out of my leg the other day. A friend of mine said "Have U put anything on it?" I said "No he likes it as it is"
#Cooper ~ I've got a dog, you know. I have..! He is a one man dog... He only bites me
#Cooper ~ I was dog-tired last night - I slept in a kennel..!
#Cooper ~ I said Doctor "I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do..?" ~ He said "Get lost..."
Is it a good thing to start the day with a hangover? Because that way things can only get better...
#Cooper ~ I said "Doctor, can you give me some sleeping pills for my wife?" ~ He said "Why?" ~ I said "She woke up..."
#Cooper ~ My Doctor asked me if I had taken my temperature, I said, "No. Is it missing..?"
Other ways to read this feed:Feed readerFacebook