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rebekatomic: I cut off my thumbs so now people will think I don't have thumbs. But they're in my pockets. - http://twitter.com/rebekat...
sween: THIS BATHROOM SMELLS LIKE CLAM CHOWDER.
THIS IS NOT —NOR WILL IT EVER BE — A GOOD THING. - http://twitter.com/sween...
Remiel: "The mushroom burger with swiss, please." "OK, one cheeseburger. Well done?" "I'll stab you." "Excuse me?" "Rare, please." - http://twitter.com/Remiel...
popthestack: What's up with all the Yankees apparel in NYC today? Did they win the super bowl? - http://twitter.com/popthes...
Veronica: I'd really enjoy a Rock Band: Phantom of the Opera Edition. - http://twitter.com/Veronic...
the1kiddo: http://twitpic.com/ohczx - Flowers *would have been* a better idea.. - http://twitter.com/the1kid...
sandwichpolice: I AM MAKING PANCAKES! THOSE ARE CAKES THAT GOT APPROVED FOR BREAKFAST CONSUMPTION OUT OF SHEER DELICIOUSNESS! - http://twitter.com/sandwic...
navanax: Doing caffeine. The gateway drug to consciousness. - http://twitter.com/navanax...
roughdiction: Show me on this shark where CSI jumped you. - http://twitter.com/roughdi...
giromide: Our daughter likes sporting a Unabomber look of late. I'd force her to change it, but her writing skills have improved dramatically. - http://twitter.com/giromid...
Ryanware - http://ryanmartinsen.com/blog...
"My salmon just might have been better than Mariah’s. I was a bit disappointed in the cobbler, however. In my opinion, mixed berries shouldn’t include blueberries. They don’t belong. But someone had to go and name them “blueberries” so they sounded all awesome like “blackberries” and “raspberries”… But they’re different and wrong and gross in my cobbler. The end."
- Justin Hileman
hotdogsladies: Shazam doesn't care who you think you are.
Know who you are? You're "Guy Who Erroneously Claims Not To Like Beyoncé."
THAT's who YOU are. - http://twitter.com/hotdogs...
MissPrissUSA: I refuse to get dressed today. Instead, I'll be sportin' the scrubs. All I need now is a beer. And a wife beater. Total class here...fellas? - http://twitter.com/MissPri...
pvaras: Many of Windows 7 system sounds are reminiscent of royal trumpets, like I should bow to it because it started up without crashing. - http://twitter.com/pvaras...
texburgher: Multitask (v.): To harbor the belief that you can untangle multiple knots simultaneously by allocating a fraction of a hand to each. - http://twitter.com/texburg...
sween: You say: "You spend too much time online!"
I hear: "I have a Hotmail account!" - http://twitter.com/sween...
badbanana: Rooting for the Yankees because I love a good riches-to-riches story. - http://twitter.com/badbana...
Remiel: So far, @scottsimpson's suggestion of "Calvin peeing on a smaller red square" is the best yet for putting inside my square. - http://twitter.com/Remiel...
AmyJane: A young boy: "If we get a dog I promise I'll take care of him!"
A grown man: "I'll vacuum all the time if we get a Dyson!"
Lies. - http://twitter.com/AmyJane...
yowhatsthehaps: STOP FAXING ME THINGS! WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE! - http://twitter.com/yowhats...
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