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"I hate to disappoint you, baby, but they were out of cream." :D :D :D
Based on the amount of time that has elapsed, there is about to be a donut party. :D
He went out for fresh fruit and cream, but if they're out of cream he'll get donuts. EVERYONE PRAY NO CREAM.
RT @PackBenPack: Someone in the Mission dressed as Wendy from "Wendy's" just asked me for "like 7 dollars."
My sister's dog, everybody. http://i.instagram.com/p...
"[F]rom the start he will show himself to you..." https://t.co/6owp4K3A33
Easter lilies will kill your kitties, and they will NOT be resurrected: http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014...
One of my eyelashes has gone rogue, and it's ruining my life.
“Latch (Disclosure cover)” by Sam Smith (@samsmithworld) is my new jam. Listen: http://www.thisismyjam.com/brittne...
"enchilada knife smuggling story" is a thing today
"i don't really get why there are so many male obgyns. I mean how many female penis doctors are there out there?" internet quote of the day
Look at this bullshit: http://brittneygilbert.com/ NEVER let your domain hosting lapse. Never, ever, ever.
RT @xeni: You’re welcome! RT @boingboing: Monkeys may sometimes grieve for dead mates through necrophilia http://boingboing.net/2014...
RT @burritojustice: No, seriously, I am interviewing @karlthefog on @BFFdotFM in 5 minutes. http://bff.fm
Remembering being 12 and buying a Seventeen magazine and feeling drunk with power.
Tonight's to-do list: return items at Best Buy, work out, cook chicken, laundry. Tonight's want-to-do list: red wine and fuckitall
Things I've been thinking about: pizza, babies
I try to be open minded, but if you call it "din din" I will write you off forever.
RT @kateberlant: A woman in this Whole Foods parking lot is trying to get two birds to stop fighting
"mono no aware" means "a sensitivity to ephemera" - http://www.kathrynhill.info/2014...
This girl hunts with an eagle and I get pissed when I have to walk more than 3 blocks for lunch. http://www.bbc.com/news...
"In a way, you are poetry material. You are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out." —Franz Kafka
You can pledge some $ to @Playworks even if I do come in last: https://t.co/t5fPhril3D
I'm gonna run a race! My goal is to not be last. There are children running it, so this is possible. https://t.co/CR4twntkoq
"You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words..." -@ANNELAMOTT
No asthma tonight, please. 🙏
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