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"I hate to disappoint you, baby, but they were out of cream." :D :D :D
Based on the amount of time that has elapsed, there is about to be a donut party. :D
He went out for fresh fruit and cream, but if they're out of cream he'll get donuts. EVERYONE PRAY NO CREAM.
RT @PackBenPack: Someone in the Mission dressed as Wendy from "Wendy's" just asked me for "like 7 dollars."
My sister's dog, everybody.
"[F]rom the start he will show himself to you..."
Easter lilies will kill your kitties, and they will NOT be resurrected:
One of my eyelashes has gone rogue, and it's ruining my life.
“Latch (Disclosure cover)” by Sam Smith (@samsmithworld) is my new jam. Listen:
"enchilada knife smuggling story" is a thing today
"i don't really get why there are so many male obgyns. I mean how many female penis doctors are there out there?" internet quote of the day
Look at this bullshit: NEVER let your domain hosting lapse. Never, ever, ever.
RT @xeni: You’re welcome! RT @boingboing: Monkeys may sometimes grieve for dead mates through necrophilia
RT @burritojustice: No, seriously, I am interviewing @karlthefog on @BFFdotFM in 5 minutes.
Remembering being 12 and buying a Seventeen magazine and feeling drunk with power.
Tonight's to-do list: return items at Best Buy, work out, cook chicken, laundry. Tonight's want-to-do list: red wine and fuckitall
Things I've been thinking about: pizza, babies
I try to be open minded, but if you call it "din din" I will write you off forever.
RT @kateberlant: A woman in this Whole Foods parking lot is trying to get two birds to stop fighting
"mono no aware" means "a sensitivity to ephemera" -
This girl hunts with an eagle and I get pissed when I have to walk more than 3 blocks for lunch.
"In a way, you are poetry material. You are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out." —Franz Kafka
You can pledge some $ to @Playworks even if I do come in last:
I'm gonna run a race! My goal is to not be last. There are children running it, so this is possible.
"You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words..." -@ANNELAMOTT
No asthma tonight, please. 🙏
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