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I understand people well. Right up until I need something from one of them. Solution: stop needing things. 28 years that took me.
RT @Valdissima: 'What day is it?' asked Pooh. 'It's today,' squeaked Piglet. 'Ah, my favourite day,' said Pooh.
It's been an awesome year. Here's to the next one being another. You guys are the best Internet friends I could find. Thanks for everything.
Nothing is black and white. Anybody who tells you something *is* is either hiding something or naive. Or maybe it's a third thing, I dunno.
Every time I re-watch OfficeSpace, I actively wish that Peter's scheme will work and all three characters get off scot-free. Every. Time.
I think it's time to face the music: no matter how many people I try to involve in a project, no one will ever be as excited about it as me.
*sigh* Weird people like my favorite bands and I guess I know what that says about me.
RT @RobCarmack: Are there any TV shows where an eccentric yet lovable person solves crimes and/or medical mysteries?
Bouncer at show: "You gonna be drinking tonight?" Me: "Nah." Bouncer: "Good call, young man. Stick to drugs."
Some wikipedia articles read more like to-do lists. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki...
There are several unusual things about my life. My brother is twenty five years younger than me and today we chased turkeys.
"If you pay attention to the world, it's an amazing place. If you don't, it's whatever you think it is." - Reggie Watts http://nymag.com/print...
In this film, Bill Murray plays a sad man who is only hilarious to the audience and himself.
Internet friends, I have a question for you. For those of you who know it: what's your Myers Briggs type?
If you don't want a courtesy laugh, tell funnier jokes.
It's hard to be a person who values originality in a culture that's built on franchise restaurants and movie sequels.
Anything that encourages positivity is a good thing.
Oh, if I could just get my hands on the guy who invented revenge......
The January inbox of a baritone:"NEED MALE SINGERS (with $5000) FOR PERFORMANCE OPPORTUNITY (that will cost $5000) OF A LIFETIME!!!"
"The world is a perfect and beautiful place, and everyone should give John Carmack back rubs and candy." - Anonymous
"It was me. I said it. And you LOVED it. You'd better give me credit for it." - Anonymous
"Wisdom sounds more authentic and homespun when it's attributed to anonymous." - Anonymous
I want to live and work in a place where I can be barefoot all the time.
I almost told a friend "stop comparing and life will be better" but then that's a comparison so now I'm just crying into these cheerios.
"I have the best gaydar." - girls with terrible gaydar
In order to curb certain market trends, I have decided never to buy anything from someone whose car is also their billboard. Please join me.
Experience draws its importance from the experiencer. A sunset can only become beautiful after someone sees it and believes it to be so.
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