Celebrity Inquirer

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet our Saturday wrap-up of all the horrible shit you crazy kids say in the comments. Granted nothing can and probably never will compare to last week’s epic review of Farrah Abraham‘s porno by McFeely Smackup, we’ve actually got one of the best Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we take a ton of paparazzi celebrity coverage and water it all down to the douchiest of canoes for you to point and laugh at. So today’s ego boosters include John Goodman cropdusting the loading zone at LAX, Justin Bieber and his boys on a Tic-Tac run Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

In response to reading that Farrah Abraham was pretending she got pregnant by James Deen while filming her professional pornographic movie that she tried to lie and say was a leaked sex tape, swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen tweeted this: farrah abraham now thinks she is pregnant from her sex tape. in other news you’re a Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TMZ reports: There are reports Kim felt like Kanye was abandoning her by scheduling a tour for his new album in October — just three months after she’s expected to give birth — but sources close to the touring company tell us, that’s not true … because Kim and the baby are Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Based on the novel I wrote about Star Trek Into Darkness, you’d just assume this is some sort of nerd site for nerdbombers, but for the record, we also post photographs of scantily women for you to think sexual thoughts about. I know that sounds unprecedented for the Internet, but it’s just some of the Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Should I really have included the autotune? Probably. So remember Kai The Homeless Hitchhiking Hero who saved a woman’s life by beating a crazy man who thought he was Jesus in the head with a hatchet? He, uh, he may have taken his love of hatcheting skulls too far. Via Gawker: Galfy was discovered beaten Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

For reasons that I’m sure have nothing to do with a former Teen Mom star squirting all over James Deen being a popular topic for roughly 7-10 days, Courtney Stodden now says she made a sex tape. Only it’s apparently just of her masturbating and on VHS because she’s 47 and knows what VHS is. Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

- Jennifer Lopez wants to marry Casper Smart now. This should end well. - Never mind, GOOP totally loves punk now and the MET Gala. Anna Wintour can release her children now. - No Bras Allowed - Demi Lovato wants to get pregnant now, so yes, she’s completely given up. Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Short Version: This is exactly all you see of this. Enjoy the $8 I just saved you. Fin. It seems like only 11 days ago I wrote a review of Iron Man 3 because I did, so shut up and let my hatred of going out in public talk for a minute. Here’s a little Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you slightly early so Fish and I can duck out to see Star Trek Into Darkness, which may or may not result in a review depending on how severely we slapfight over manly stuff like editing and dialogue. But that doesn’t mean I slacked on your Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

For someone who decided/got tricked into/had his sperm robbed in his sleep which resulted in having a baby with Kim Kardashian of all people, you’d just assume Kanye West would’ve made peace by now with the fact that the paparazzi are going to be called every time he takes a shit. Instead he bitched all Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Posted by Photo Boy Originally, these Heidi Klum shots were going to be just one pic in today’s The Crap We Missed until I showed them to Fish. After he finished smacking my head with a rolled up newspaper and screaming, “Place multiple angles upon the Internet and either reference Adult Swim or call Kim Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Probably my favorite part about this whole Amy’s Baking Company fiasco is that not even 10 days after the Internet saw Farrah Abraham get her butthole blown out by James Deen in a graphic, made-entirely-for-publicity porno, all it took were two idiots running a bakery into the ground in Arizona for people to move onto Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Back in 2009, I posted about a male model named Premo Stallone who claimed he was the real father of Kourtney Kardashian‘s baby because she hooked up with him 10 months before Mason was born when she was on a break from Scott Disick. The whole story went away pretty quickly and nobody thought anything Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Here’s Miley Cyrus at The Maxim HOT 100 Party where she was the guest of honor despite at least three other women looking as hot if not hotter than her because they didn’t wear a pantsuit. They also had much larger breasts which out of respect to Angelina Jolie I will neither confirm nor deny Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

- Tom Cruise showed up to the premiere of Star Trek Into Darkness to tell J.J. Abrams the true story about the events of Star Wars: Episode VII. “Not a lot of people know this but L. Ron Hubbard invented the Force…” - Brooke Mueller doesn’t want to lose custody of the $55,000 Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which draws pretty heavily on the two big film premieres from last night. First, there was The Great Gatsby at Cannes, from which two Leonardo DiCaprio pics were chosen, because I don’t know how to not include this or this. Then it was apparently a fantastic ass-themed premiere Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

It was almost impossible to miss this train wreck yesterday, but after appearing on a disastrous episode of Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon Ramsay literally quit after watching the owners steal tips, resell desserts from other restaurants and threaten to call the police on customers who wanted the food they ordered, the Facebook page of Amy’s Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

A little over two weeks ago, Chris Evans looked like this while attending a GLAAD event with his gay brother Scott. And now here he is on the set of Captain America: The Winter Soldier yesterday looking fucking gigantic, so let’s keep pushing that message to the kids: “Hey, Captain America, how’d you get those Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Kanye West looks like he’s at a funeral every time he has to walk into another paparazzi trap set up by Kim Kardashian, so clearly that means he’s a homosexual who fucks men in the anus, is what she’s starting to think now. InTouch Weekly via Gossip Cop: According to the mag, Kardashian’s first Met Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Because the narrative has to be that her plan worked, here’s Farrah Abraham telling Hollywood Life that she’s moving to LA now to pursue tons of reality show offers, you guys. And, of course, she’s bringing her daughter Sophia because she’s a super-important part of her life and not because if these talks are even Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

It’s been a while since we’ve wrote about how ridiculous LeAnn Rimes‘ life is, so here’s a story about her buying Twitter-bots to follow her because it’s not like she can perform anymore and gain new fans. Radar Online reports: Not only has LeAnn acquired more than 100,000 new followers in the last month, but Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Posted by Photo Boy - James Franco shit on one of his movies again, except not literally and/or at MOMA this time. - Zoe Saldana is naked, stupid. - Unofficial Chive meet-ups that in no way lead to unplanned pregnancies. - Vin Diesel single-handedly made Facebook what it is today. Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve failed in my effort to eliminate the random boobs from this thing with the above pic, but I felt you should know that Aubrey O’Day is still alive, and just barely covering her rent generator again. We’ve also got the return of Kris Humphries‘ second most Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Posted by Photo Boy Like any great illusionist, Beyonce is a master of misdirection. Remember when she secretly incanted Illuminati spells instead of singing the national anthem at our Secret Muslim Dear Leader’s second inauguration? Well, now she’s pretending her doctors have ordered her to cancel shows, which she knows will jumpstart the pregnancy rumors, Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Here’s Emma Watson arriving in France this morning where I’m either seeing right through the fabric of her dress or it’s a powerful wizard that makes me see phantom nips. I tried to ask Angelina Jolie what’s happening, but all she did was cry and use Asian children for tissues. It was crazy racist. Photos: Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

“Dear God, it’s me, Farrah. Can you get babies in your butt?” I was really trying to avoid this story because it was clearly nothing more than Farrah Abraham trying to cram more press into her ass like the glass dildo in her pornographic movie that was not a leaked sex tape, so to bring Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

Jaden Smith‘s parents have bought him movie roles, leased him Kendall Jenner and let him wear clothes that any respectable parent would consider legal grounds for a 2×4 to the face. So naturally that’s not enough and now he wants to be emancipated and have his own place at 15-years-old because masturbating quietly in a Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

- Ryan Gosling got Dr. Who to shave his head. His powers know no bounds. - Hey, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are stagin’ a photo op here! - Girls have squishy parts. In case you were curious. - Bryan Singer really likes tweeting X-Men set photos. - RIP, Dr. Read More ... - Celebrity Inquirer

And by epic I mean Rhino’s pants fall down while Spider-Man’s all like, “Tee hee diddly doo!” dancing a jig. Suck it, Avengers. Photos: Splash NewsRead More ... - Celebrity Inquirer