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corcoran

corcoran

I really fucking hate people that use exclamation marks. Sorry.
Twitter
An. Welcoming back the "OHMYGODILOVEDMYHOLIDAYWITHMYBOYFRIENDIDONTNEEDYOUTOSATISFYMESEXUALLYANYMORE" crowd. For the lols.
It sucks when famous black people die. You absolutely know without a doubt there's no chance of a public holiday following the year after.
so new new Twitter -- I now have to learn all your fucking actual names? Fuck's sake.
I think the chokers the girls from ace of base wore made me into the beautiful pervert I am today.
Well at least we all now know how long Whitney will love you for.
How do you solve a problem like Flora Maria?
I love listening to American folk singers but deep down we all know each and every one of them is singing about fucking their sister, eh?
Twitter just isn't like real life. In real life I just don't have any black friends.
Just paid 2grand off my credit card so I could use my iTunes saved card to buy an app #firstworldproblems
Just heard Cameron referred to as 'Mr. Cameron'. God I mingle in the wrong social circles.
.@rich_w I'm so hungry I could eat one of your children
RT @Katy_Sanders_: My boyfriend hasn't stopped looking through the window since it started snowing. If it gets any worse, I might have to let him back in.
I'm remembering an awful lot less an awful lot more of the time.
Dear Twitter stalkers, when stalking, avoid hitting the 'favourite' button - notifications are a bitch..
Hey @bristolcouncil - I see your plans to pedestrianise Whiteladies Road in its entirety are swinging into full force today. #whoneedsroads
Courier company couldn't deliver parcel to our offices yesterday because "The door was closed". We do that to keep out tramps. /@citylink
These new 20mph inner city zones make kerb-crawling so much easier. Thanks councils!
Closure is for quitters
Hey @citylink - it's been two days now driving around in your sodding vans, any chance I could get my 'next day delivery' delivered?
Bought a present for the office. His fucking holiness in Royal fucking Doulton. Win. http://twitpic.com/8ghmu5
Bought a present for the office. His fucking holiness in Royal fucking Doulton. Win. http://t.co/33fQfsci
So Truffaut's 80th birthday, are @alistapart not celebrating?!
Epic porn-popup "looking for sx in the UK? Then click on http://sxintheuk.com" .. How brilliantly literal.. don't mind if I do *click*
So the remake of 'The Thing' is essentially 'The Human Centipede' but set Antarctica, eh?
I love stroking dogs and kids
Once in a while people use twitter for good. So I'm gonna ask you all - "who is Keyser Soze?"
Wine. One way or another, it fucks us all in the ass.
HEY. IPHONE. MASTURBATING IS A WORD. IF I MISS A SINGLE LETTER, 'no replacements found' is bullshit. Jobs wanked. He wanked hard. Fuck off.
I wonder what the correlation between cat ownership and twitter is, globally.
RT @ericicomedy: Girl asked "May I have a cigarette?" Me "May I have your #?" She gave me her #! So I texted her "Buy your own fucking cigarettes."
Bit annoying that @thedunwells have cancelled their show in Bristol tomorrow night..
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