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An. Welcoming back the "OHMYGODILOVEDMYHOLIDAYWITHMYBOYFRIENDIDONTNEEDYOUTOSATISFYMESEXUALLYANYMORE" crowd. For the lols.
It sucks when famous black people die. You absolutely know without a doubt there's no chance of a public holiday following the year after.
so new new Twitter -- I now have to learn all your fucking actual names? Fuck's sake.
.@rich_w I'm so hungry I could eat one of your children
RT @Katy_Sanders_: My boyfriend hasn't stopped looking through the window since it started snowing. If it gets any worse, I might have to let him back in.
I'm remembering an awful lot less an awful lot more of the time.
Dear Twitter stalkers, when stalking, avoid hitting the 'favourite' button - notifications are a bitch..
Hey @bristolcouncil - I see your plans to pedestrianise Whiteladies Road in its entirety are swinging into full force today. #whoneedsroads
Courier company couldn't deliver parcel to our offices yesterday because "The door was closed". We do that to keep out tramps. /@citylink
These new 20mph inner city zones make kerb-crawling so much easier. Thanks councils!
Bought a present for the office. His fucking holiness in Royal fucking Doulton. Win. http://twitpic.com/8ghmu5
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So Truffaut's 80th birthday, are @alistapart not celebrating?!
Epic porn-popup "looking for sx in the UK? Then click on http://sxintheuk.com" .. How brilliantly literal.. don't mind if I do *click*
So the remake of 'The Thing' is essentially 'The Human Centipede' but set Antarctica, eh?
Once in a while people use twitter for good. So I'm gonna ask you all - "who is Keyser Soze?"
Wine. One way or another, it fucks us all in the ass.
HEY. IPHONE. MASTURBATING IS A WORD. IF I MISS A SINGLE LETTER, 'no replacements found' is bullshit. Jobs wanked. He wanked hard. Fuck off.
I wonder what the correlation between cat ownership and twitter is, globally.
RT @ericicomedy: Girl asked "May I have a cigarette?" Me "May I have your #?" She gave me her #! So I texted her "Buy your own fucking cigarettes."
Bit annoying that @thedunwells have cancelled their show in Bristol tomorrow night..
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