 |
|
| FriendFeed is the easiest way to share online. Learn more » |
Next person to knock on my office door loses an arm.
Could I still be an astronaut? Probably not. But only because of all the throwing up it requires.
For example, today I thought of becoming a labor organizer in China. Just briefly. But still.
The ref has left the field. Let the Bacchanalian orgiastic bloodbath begin. #puppybowlVIII
The kitty halftime show is OK, but I don't feel it accurately conveys the total clusterfuck of having 100 kittens in 1 place. #puppybowlVIII
I despise both being in and going through receiving lines. Yecch. Awkward handshaking.
For you ladies with a real dedication to the subordination of your own gender, there is now Axe Body Spray for Her.
Upon reflection, it appears as though Project: Drink Self Into Oblivion wasn't such a bad idea after all.
As in, "fuck your 2-second following distance; my co-pilot, God, will ensure our safety."
When I see an "In God We Trust" license plate, I like to imagine it indicates a cavalier attitude about driving safety.
Every now and then, and more frequently these days, I think about converting my practice to be about 50% immigration.
Pro se litigants, you brighten my life. Really you do. But please, no more of your zany hijinx during motion hour.
Just witnessed a superlative mullet in court. It was the mulletest.
My shoes sound like lady shoes. You've got to have some kind of mental illness to be paranoid about that kind of thing, but here we are.
Also, some truly weird shit happens about 25% of the time. Like today.
My track record in district court: almost always a good result for the client, and almost always screw up some detail of the paperwork.
Has science been able to figure out why cats throw up so much?
Thank you, paranoid sleeping brain, for waking me at 3 to tell me that the moving lump by my leg might be an active beehive. (It was a dog.)
I have learned quite a lot about the categorization of lightbulbs tonight. Also SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SCREAMING LITTLE BRATS
Y'ever try to count everything at the Walmart? Takes a long time.
OMG LOOK Valerie made me doggy boxer shorts! From scratch! http://yfrog.com/es5pecfj
 |
This karaoke is good and all, but it could use a little more Huey Lewis. AND the News.
Heh, that Creed song with the "golden streams" line is on. Dirty.
Today: pretended to be outraged that the "Dan Canon" Wikipedia page is 1)full of lies & 2)down. Also, pretended said page actually exists.
My brain is kicking me in the balls this week. Maybe it's the weather.
I appreciate your company's willingness to dramatically increase traffic to my website, but kindly fuck off and die.
Traffic like this makes me question the usefulness of defensive driving. And all other social norms.
Other ways to read this feed:
