Daniel Everett Benson

My nooks are just fine, 30-Second Smile. It's the crannies I worry about.

I'm thinking about beard farming again but I don't know the best way to rotate my crops.

Sift, crack, giggle? Sounds like a party I went to in a bar bathroom a few years ago.

@twoname A new reissue. Forge Your Own Chains. Check it.

Watchin' my stories. Bitches think they cute.

thedailywhat: House, M.D. I really love House…and pills. - http://leavethatalone.com/post...

"This pillow sucks. . .like a boss."

Bored apes daydream.

Oooohhh. . .rosebud!

atsween: Did I just do this? I just KNEW I should have trademarked SweenKids. - http://leavethatalone.com/post...

ducks are very considerate lovers - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

I threw a naughty pajama party once but everyone came dressed as sorority girls shopping at Target.

If I can reach just one child today my parole officer doesn't have to know about it.

Say Something Nice Monday - http://leavethatalone.com/post...

Something made me think of this and I decided to share it here.  I’m sure everyone already knows everything about Art Frahm.  Let’s just call it nostalgia. - http://leavethatalone.com/post...

Since there are multiple ways to spell Chanukkah, I submit Crismus, Krismas and BUY ME A FUCKING PS3!

I don't understand all of the vitriol aimed at @Favstar. Could this be what @textism was talking about? Do we hate the player or the game?

I am NOT too old for this shirt? Get off my lawn!

Untitled - http://leavethatalone.com/post...

How cute are these boots? What do I look like, a pedophile?

At Golden Corral, eating my feelings. #thankyoutextism

I guess it's back to tracking my mileage and NPR reminders. #thankyoutextism

Bored apes ruminate.

Bored apes contemplate.

People that break into cars really should use ShopSavvy. That TuneFlex you nabbed goes for $1 on Amazon, dumbass.

I’m starting to think someone doesn’t like me coming around here. - http://leavethatalone.com/post...

I'm starting to think someone doesn't like me coming around here. - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

Nice hat, douche nozzle.

So it's not tampons? - Boy is my face red. Ask away. http://leavethatalone.com/post...

So it's not tampons? - http://leavethatalone.com/post...