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The Yelp check-in offer here is "1 Free Hug".
Her: Was it too spicy for you? Me: I've lived in the Middle East & I just had ghostpepper chili 2 weeks ago. Her: I'm not worried about you.
I love this Thai/Indian curry fusion.
The Chinese restaurant in question has a push-button espresso machine.
The coffee shop in this hotel doesn't have an espresso machine. They are sending me to a Chinese restaurant instead.
They sell FourLoko here but not gluten free beer. Who is their target demographic?
Her: I'm assuming you only need one room key. Me: is it that obvious that I'm single and unlovable?
Back in Vegas.
I'm so hungry, I could eat a cow. But that would definitely offend the couple to my right.
She is applying green nail polish. He is eating a gluten-full chocolate chip muffin. There is no ventilation in the van.
Never mind, it was for a Platonic analysis I was preparing.
I honestly don't remember why I scribbled "men with beards" and "white puffy dogs" in my notebook.
I cross the street like a New Yorker.
Me: I was talking to myself, sorry. Her: I was also replying to something I said to myself before.
OH: I think I should leave the office, because it's 5pm somewhere.
OH: Planning is not my strong suit. #understatementofthecentury
My co-co-worker is harassing me about expensive Peruvian cacao.
OH: I don't know how to spell "criticism".
Fuck. Rain in LA today and Vegas tomorrow. I really should check the weather before planning a last minute trip.
OH: I understand why you think this outfit would work, but honey...
OH: are you "queer-eye"ing me right now?
Me: we've never hooked up! Her: so that's why you are so infatuated with him.
Her: have you ever heard of the blog "Hairpin"? Me: nope. Her: it's like Jezebel, but it's also for women.
I wish online publications would change the pronouns when they copy verbatim from press releases.
OH: I don't like the goth Hello Kitty.
My hot chocolate has some lavender in it. http://twitter.com/ezrabut...
My kidnapper forced me to take him to a bagel shop.
Being kidnapped.
I just successfully avoided an international incident at Pavilions.
I am being privately castigated for not publicly "liking" a friend's relationship status change on FB.
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