"Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you pussy. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don't give a shit, just get a fucking steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in. Schmuck. Take the steak home. Get a bigass frying pan and put the shit on the stove, cranking the heat up as far as that fucker will go. Take a shitload of salt—rocksalt, you dumb motherfucker, none of that fine-grained crap here—and toss it around the bottom of the pan. When the pan is hot as all fuck—it should scorch the shit out of your finger if you're stupid enough to touch it—put the fucking steak on there. You can crack some pepper on the top of the steak as the bottom is searing, but don't even talk to me about garlic or onion powder or COMPOUND FUCKING BUTTER, asshole. This is steak, all you fucking need is salt and pepper. After a bit (3 minutes for pink, 5 for cooked good), flip that shit over and do the same fucking thing you just did with the other side, i.e. sit on your ass and wait for your motherfucking steak to be ready, you useless assbag. When you're done, sling that shit on a plate. Beringer's 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you've taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing. Also, make some fucking potatoes, because that's what you eat with a fucking steak. God, sometimes I just want to smack the shit out of you." - Steven Perez from Bookmarklet

Best recipe ever. - Steven Perez

:D - WoH: Minding her Botts

So I've been staring at that steak and the more I look at it, the more I think it looks like a pork chop. What cut is that supposed to be? - Heather Solos

What's up with the wine pairing? - Julian

who does this f888er think he's talkin' to, someone who doesn't effing know how to cook? HE sure as s88t doesn't! The way to cook a motherf888in steak is you go get the s88t. Then you LIGHT YOUR F***ING grill, you dumbass motherf888er. THEN you can cook yourself a steak, bitch! - Vicarbott

3 minutes is too fucking long. Half that shit and get some fucking blood down your motherfucking throat asshole. Also: old world Rioja, not new world Cab. - Mark H

Almost perfect but no potatoes and wine. Steak and beer and nothing else for me - Nik

What kind of pansy ass drink is he recommending? Get yourself a fucking longneck. Dos Equis if you're a pansy. Pabst if you don't give a fuck what wets your steakpipe. - Kevin Fox

....that still looks like a pork chop - Rah-PM 2012

A common lament, Glen. :D - Steven Perez from IM

Hm. I don't remember reading that in Joy of Cooking... - John (bird whisperer)

I... I love you all. This is the best post on friendfeed ever. I am bookmarking this post just so I can come back and read it and the comments whenever I need a pick me up. - EricaJoy

I'm still chuckling at "steakpipe." - cdogzilla | downgraded

Rahsheen I'm glad I'm not the only one in the pork chop camp. - Heather Solos

This is what I picture when I hear bone-in filet http://www.amazon.com/Omaha-S... Granted, I was spoiled and worked high-end and that was a bad angle / lighting on the steak in the post. (I have no room to talk, photographing beef is a pain in the butt) - Heather Solos

The real way to cook a fucking steak is to walk the cow past the fucking stove before you slaughter it. - April

Gotta love a good stake (steak)... Guess I'll have Bette dig to the bottom of the freeze cause we are having steak tonight! Oh and yeah men will be playing with balls on my TV tonight! - Rasmus Lauridsen

This bastard is wrong about one thing. Onions. I don't see any onions. - Steven Perez

Onions? gross. - holly #ravingfangirl from iPhone

JUST FOR THAT, ADD SOME CILANTRO, TOO. - Steven Perez

WAY TO FUCKING RUIN IT, PEREZ. - holly #ravingfangirl from iPhone

SHUT IT, YOU, OR YOU'LL GET SECONDS. - Steven Perez

pfft - holly #ravingfangirl from iPhone

Mmm, bistec. Not sure which cut my mom uses, but she uses onions and soy sauce. I've never tried it with cilantro, though :) - Victor Ganata

See? Eating meat makes you agressive. - m9m, Crone of FriendFeed

I'm glad I took the time to read this...lol! But I will admit - I'm with Rah -- still looks like a pork chop to me. Bone-in filet? Pffft...why would I want a fucking bone in my fucking filet? And why would anyone willingly destroy a filet on a cast iron skillet?! Do what you want with a rib-eye, or a t-bone...or a fucking pork chop...but leave the filet alone goddammit! - Prosey BUTTONS!

I'm craving some fucking tofu right about now! :P - Rene, Pro Button Pusher

NOT ME. I WANT RED MEAT. - Steven Perez

Rene, is it possible to crave plain tofu? There's no umami without added flavorings. - Tinfoil 2.0

i prefer to salt my steaks with a bit of seasoning to draw the flavors into the center of the steak, plus it tenderizes and jucifies it really good - http://steamykitchen.com/163-how... - Chris Heath

I have to put in a good word for Montreal Steak Seasoning. That stuff is the shit! - Alex Scrivener

Since when did Ghostface Killah get a cooking blog? - Adrian

I was just fucking kidding y'all, fetch me a goddamn cow! - Rene, Pro Button Pusher

Why is this so funny? - Mike Cavaliere

the naughty words - Chris Heath

Hahahhahaha I want to marry this guy!! - Mona Nomura

LOL I'm actually hearing the guy speak as I read the words. (8D) - Zu from AOD

++Scrivener, love it too, we got something there. - Zu from AOD

Shit like this is why I fucking love FriendFeed. - Denise Howell