My alcoholic and abusive father left and divorced my mother when I was 11...I haven't see him in over 25 years. I grew up poor since he refused to pay child support. Now I hear that my mother is considering remarrying him. I'm speechless...
At least you're an adult. My parents, who divorced when I was 8 would still hook up from time to time and at one point mom moved back in. She left us with my drunk father. It confused and infuriated me. I have no love for my mother to this day. That warm fuzzy feeling you're supposed to have for mom, NOPE.
- G Dub of the Carolinas
I guess...I kinda feel like that lost kid I was at 12 again you know the kid who just shows up at the neighbors house at dinner time hoping they will have some pity and feed you cause your drunk dad took off and your mom is too busy partying all the time to even remember she has kids...ok I'm bitter. I said it.
- furrworld
dude, if she wants to fuck up the remainder of her life, let her. you don't have to be a part of it. if she doesn't realize what she is doing or how it hurts others, she never will. can't change her.
- Mary Carmen
I can't be a part of it and neither will my brother.
- furrworld
Well there you go. Just imagine how much less complicated life will be now that you don't have to worry about her. I know it sounds harsh, but she is making a decision that has some serious consequences.
- Mary Carmen
She's the only mother I got even if she is a sucky one..I will always worry about her. Classic child of an alcoholic.
- furrworld
Sorry I didn't mean to minimize what you're going through I think the main point was going for was I can relate.
- G Dub of the Carolinas
@g dub you didn't no worries. It's sad so many people can relate to this. I appreciated your comments. :)
- furrworld
This will be an absolutely and obscenely unpopular comment, and I mean no disrespect to you, but they're living their lives. They're just two kids in love. Like the rest of us. Take the alcohol out of the equation (and, yes, I know you can't) and it's suddenly not a thing. I'm a kid and I'm a parent; I understand the absolute disconnect that occurs when children start viewing you as a...
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- Akiva
I was thinking the same thing. Love does make people do irrational things, but then again, love isn't everything, which is something that people don't realize. Especially when you are a parent, and someone has done your child wrong, then love goes out the window. However, not everyone thinks like me, so this is when you get a scenario like this one.
- Shevonne
What Shevonne just typed. I'm terrified of Rochelle's fiancé. He's going to be in control of my children. I don't at all like the feeling of powerlessness. I'm absolutely desperate trying to see him as a good father and goddamn him if all of the evidence points to yes, that he's a good father, a good man. I want to hate him for stupid reasons but I can't. I need him to be my best friend...
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- Akiva
The hardest thing to do is realize your parents are people. Furworld, bounce that thought back and forth. Compassion for the failed person and disassociation with the parent part.
- Janet-The Bottley Crue
As much as I would like to say they are 2 crazy kids wanting to be together I will never get the memory of my drunk father viciously beating my mother in front of me when I was a child...not a smack...pounding her with his closed fists...that's not love and that's a big reason why I wont have anything todo with it.
- furrworld
I'm so sorry. I know this is something very hard for you.
- Shevonne
Knowing a lot of the backstory of this, I can say that this is not love. It is probably loneliness on both their parts. If I had to wager, I'd say more on your mom's part than your father's. You have to let your mom make her choice, just like she will have to accept the repercussions of those choices. Nothing I know of your dad makes me think he understands or comprehends what love...
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- Mary Carmen
"Have you ever noticed how crowded restaurants are on Valentine's Day? Every table is a two-top, the menus are often fixed, and the staff frantically busy. After several misfires over the last few years, I've given up with going out that night, and instead focus on lovely dishes we can make at home. Here is a classic date night meal—filet mignon in a red wine reduction."
- Steven Perez
from Bookmarklet
"The Junk Food Platter - a plated sugar overload – can be found at LA Market Restaurant located inside the JW Marriot at L.A. Live. This Valentine’s Day themed dish for two includes two house-made hostess style cupcakes dipped and filled with white chocolate ganache, a strawberry milkshake for two, chocolate covered strawberries, home-made cotton candy, two signature snowballs, caramel corn, heart shaped chocolate Rice Krispie treats, heart-shaped fruit loop treats, two pairs of assorted cookies, and two chocolate brownies (whew). "
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
""The Greatest Love of All" is a song written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed and originally recorded by George Benson for the 1977 Muhammad Ali biopic The Greatest. The song was later popularized by Whitney Houston. Creed wrote the lyrics in the midst of her struggle with breast cancer. The words describe her feelings about coping with great challenges that one must face in life, being strong during those challenges whether you succeed or fail, and passing that strength on to children to carry with them into their adult lives. Creed eventually succumbed to the disease in April 1986 at the age of 36; at the time her song was an international hit by Whitney Houston"
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
and i loved how her lips did quirky things.
- edythe
from wikipedia - ""How Will I Know" was released by Arista Records in November 1985 as the third single from Houston's self-titled debut. It debuted at number sixty on the US Billboard Hot 100, on the December 7, 1985 issue.[13] Nine weeks later, it peaked at number one on the issue dated February 15, 1986, becoming Houston's second number one single in the US.[1] It displaced Dionne...
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- edythe
"Making scratch-off paint is easy; just mix 2 parts acrylic paint to 1 part dish soap. Go ahead and print out the card or get the Polaroid photo you want to cover ready. Tape off portions of the card that don't need the paint or just use a stencil to make sure your scratch-off paint is only applied where you want. Let the paint dry, and you'll probably need to add a second coat to completely cover your message or photo. This method makes for a cute valentine—if you need a creative way to say ‘I Love You' consider giving it a try. Scratch-Off Photo Valentine | Instructables" http://www.instructables.com/id...
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"The U.S. Interstates as a Subway Map infographic is a subway-style map of America's interstate highways, and it's pretty handy for quickly planning a cross-country trip. You can see at a glance how the highways connect and the major cities along the way. Although the map's lines aren't geographically precise, for planning a trip, this design by Cameron Booth may work even better than traditional maps' more accurate road representations. For example, if you're driving from Teaneck, NJ to San Francisco, CA you already know you're going west so all you need to find is that straight red line for I-80 cutting across the map. Also really useful are the map's circles representing the cities along the way—"stops," if you will, and "transfers" for other highways."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
Apparently, Deutsche Bahn employees really, really, really don't like it when the general public uses their trash bins for recycling.
- Cristal Blue Persuasion
As we don't have paper recycling bins in our apartment complex, it was suggested, when I first got here, that we use the bins at the Regional/S-bahn stop across the street from where I live to recycle our paper stuffs.
- Cristal Blue Persuasion
Today, I got accosted by one of the DB peeps, who, from what I could (barely) make out, asked if I was going to throw my trash in the bin, that I was not allowed to, and, would call the police if I attempted to do so. I said that I wasn't and walked away, with the guy yelling after me as I was doing so.
- Cristal Blue Persuasion
Yeah, it was rude, but y'know, it's -20 C, I'm trying to get my errands done, and threatening me with arrest for my attempts to help the environment, in the gotdamb cold, is NOT the way to influence my way of thinking.
- Cristal Blue Persuasion
I came home and told hubs we either find another place to recycle the paper stuffs, or we stop separating the paper out from the rest of the trash. I am NOT having this.
- Cristal Blue Persuasion
Should've moved to Ireland. If you were in Ireland, they probably would've asked you what time they could pick it up to recycle it for you.
- Bubba Botts
Here, some towns have mandatory recycling, and some towns don't. People living in the towns that don't, that care about the environment and are willing to go out of their way to dispose of their stuff properly, usually find a nearby town that does and then cart their recycleables to that town's Department of Public Works recycling yard. They never ask you to prove you are a resident before taking your stuff, they just assume you are. Maybe this is an option where you live?
- April
"If you have "extra" money, use the 10 Year Savings Strategy. If you have extra money, use the 10 Year Savings Strategy to save for predictable expenses in the next 10 years (wedding, kids, house, etc). Set up specific sub-savings accounts for each of these items. (Interesting sidenote: I surveyed people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, asking them what they wish they'd saved for 10 years ago. Here are the actual results [http://www.slideshare.net/ramit...], but in short: People in their 20s wish they'd saved for travel. People in their 30s wish they'd saved for buying a house. And people in their 40s wish they'd saved for retirement.)"
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
Whedon: "You know, things like Secret Life [of an American Teenager] and Juno and Knocked Up – even if they pretend to deal with abortion, the movies don’t even say the word “abortion.” It’s something that over a third of American women are going to decide to have to do in their lives. But people are so terrified that no one will discuss the reality of it — not no one, but very few popular entertainments, even when they say they’re dealing with this issue, they don’t, and won’t. It’s frustrating to me. I don’t think Buffy should have a baby. I don’t think Buffy can take care of a baby. I agree with Buffy. It’s a very difficult decision for her, but she made a decision that so many people make and it’s such a hot button issue with Planned Parenthood under constant threat and attack right now. A woman’s right to choose is under attack as much as it’s ever been, and that’s a terrible and dangerous thing for this country. I don’t usually get soap box-y with this, but the thing about Buffy...
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- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"Voices arguing for a woman's right to choose in America's anguished debate over abortion have discovered an unexpected ally: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The new issue of the Buffy comics, published on Thursday in the US, sees the Chosen One taking some time off from staking vampires through the heart to deal with what publisher Dark Horse called "a rather personal problem". Season nine continues, after issue five's cliffhanger revelation that the Slayer was pregnant, with Buffy deciding what to do about the unwanted pregnancy – the result of a drunken night at a party. Eventually she decides to have an abortion."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
""A woman's right to choose is under attack as much as it's ever been, and that's a terrible and dangerous thing for this country. I don't usually get soap box-y with this, but the thing about Buffy is all she's going through is what women go through, and what nobody making a speech, holding up a placard, or making a movie is willing to say," Whedon told Entertainment Weekly"
- edythe
"The cult creator criticised the celebration in the media of teen pregnancy and "young people having babies when they are not emotionally, financially, or otherwise equipped to take care of them", citing The Secret Life of an American Teenager television show, and the films Juno and Knocked Up. "Even if they pretend to deal with abortion, the movies don't even say the word 'abortion',"...
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- edythe
"Karl could probably make it up to her by making some clothes that would fit women of Adele's size. Or, you know, casting her in a Chanel campaign."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
feels weird that fat was considered enough of an insult that lagerfeld felt the need to apologize and jezebel called him out as though he said she was a bitch. i mean, adele certainly isn't a slim chick. and while we all struggle with language and the baggage that comes with it, we should pause to remember that fat is a descriptor. it shouldn't be used as a value judgement.
- tiffany
I'm not sure if Lagerfeld's comment was really just a descriptor, Tiffany, at least not as it appeared in the Metro (which his apology suggests was edited to the point that the context became confused). He's making a comparison between two singers, but the bulk of his comments have to do with physical appearance as opposed to musical talent (the other singer, Lana del Rey, is discussed...
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- Soup in a TARDIS
wow. thanks for all that back story, soup. all i knew was from that jezebel post, where it said he called her "too fat."
- edythe
Soup, just for my own strange curiosity, do you have a source on the Lady Gaga quote? I can't find anything she's said beyond articles refuting that claim. I've heard that there were obsessive fans making inappropriate comments about her weight and other things on Twitter when Adele was winning more success, but it seems like in reality the two are friendly and that was all generated by Tumblr drama.
- joey
@Joey, I'm having trouble finding an exact quote but in trying to track it down I've found a few (unconfirmed) reports that much of what Lady Gaga said about Adele's weight was made up and spread through .gifs, which perhaps was the tumblr drama you referenced. If so, my apologies to Lady Gaga and her fans (gagaites? gagans? do they have a collective name?). @edythe, Lagerfeld's...
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- Soup in a TARDIS
Well she is fat that is the truth surely you cannot call her skinny, but the point is being fat should not be considered as a negative point unless you're a GP and talking about health issues. In that case being skinny as bad as being fat. By hushing everyone cannot change the discriminante mindset, should make it clear that people have different body shapes and body mass and that is absolutely normal and acceptable
- Nemo
Soup, yeah, what I had seen was that people made animated gifs from a Lady Gaga interview with Anderson Cooper and made up the quote and then passed it around Tumblr with a fake response from Adele...the whole thing is so bizarre and the idea that people on the Internet are creating these false feuds with things never said and then having fan wars is just so morbidly fascinating to me...
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- joey
There is something slightly arresting about the idea of fans manufacturing a feud, even down to the point of falsely attributing direct quotes. It makes me wonder if at some point we'll get rid of actual celebrities altogether and instead people will just fan a loose but generally cohesive collections of ideas, values, and preferences. Clearly the individual celebrities actions, words,...
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- Soup in a TARDIS
Lagerfeld's comment was that Adele was "a little too fat". That goes beyond being a simple descriptor and wanders into judgment territory. But this comes from a guy who seems to think any woman with a waist over 26" is plus size, so there you go.
- vicster
@vicster I was going to say that. I guess the reason it made news cause it was Adele, but he has been calling everyone fat for the longest time.
- Shevonne
He didn't apologize for judging her about her weight. He apologized for calling her fat. and our reading of fat as an insult - both Lagerfeld's and ours in this thread - is problematic to me. I admit that its a subtle difference.
- tiffany
from Android
"The transit workers union has named this fur-challenged rodent the winner of its photo contest, which called on subway riders to submit shots of the nastiest-looking vermin they encountered on their commutes."
- chaz2b
from Bookmarklet
"Our tape measure is intricately carved by skilled artisans from cow bone. It measures 1-1/4" l x 1-1/2" w x 2-1/2" h. Tape measure 4 feet."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"Advice from a 10-year-old girl, a 52-year-old man, and lots of people in between."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"5. Collect rejections like badges of honor. As Lesley wrote in her latest advice column, it’s OK if your crushee gives you a weird look and quickly scuttles away after you approach them. You are REALLY RAD for making a move in the first place, and this experience, however disappointing it might feel in the moment, will help you with future crush situations. The only way to stop fearing...
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- edythe
"6. Share some pithy observation. The key to having a nice conversation with not only a person whom you want to french, but basically anybody in the world ever, is observing and building on a common experience. If the person is someone you see often, like in class, in your youth group, or at play rehearsal, you have time to create a friendly rapport with them that has the potential to...
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- edythe
"Kate and Laura Mulleavy started the label Rodarte in 2005. They live in Pasadena, California." "Buffy the Vampire Slayer turned the stereotypes of the horror genre on their heads. Before she was “chosen” to be a slayer, Buffy Summers was a typical teenage girl with average ambitions. She seemed like the ditzy blonde that is usually murdered alone in the alleyway. And to top it all off, her name was the most harmless name that anyone could really think of."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"John Waters Loves Justin Bieber Hazel got to visit John Waters, you guys. Later this month we’ll have a full interview with the Pope of Trash. In the meantime, here’s a gallery of some of his favorite works of art, books, and places in his super cool Baltimore home. You will want to go to there."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"It is not hard to argue that we live in a youth-centric culture, one in which young age and beauty are almost synonymous. And that obsession does not end with humans. Puppies and kittens melt hearts; images and videos of baby animals flood the Internet. But rarely does an image of an animal in old age ignite the same interest and adoration. In an unusual project, Isa Leshko, a fine-art photographer who lives in Philadelphia, set out to capture glimpses of animals at a time when they rarely attract much admiration or media attention — in their twilight years. The photographs, part of a series called “Elderly Animals”, are intimate and at times gripping. In one, a thoroughbred horse named Handsome One, age 33, stands in a stable, his hair wispy and his frame showing signs of time. In another, a pair of Finn sheep at the advanced age of 12 embrace as an elderly couple on a park bench might. And in another, a geriatric chow mix named Red lies with his paw under his chin, the signs of glaucoma apparent in his onyx-colored eyes."
- edythe
from Bookmarklet
"“On a personal level, I’ve been terrified of aging after dealing with my mother’s situation,” Ms. Leshko said. “My grandmother on my mother’s side also had dementia. I’m terrified of developing this disease. And I think that this project has been a way for me to immerse myself in that fear and try to better understand and make peace with aging.” She crisscrossed the country, visiting...
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- edythe
CONTROL Fridays @ Avalon Cut Copy (DJ Set) Midnight Juggernauts (DJ Set) Casual Touch 2tonedisco February 10th, 2012 | 9:30pm-5am | 19+ / 21+ Cut Copy (DJ Set) When Cut Copy offered their hand on Where I’m Going, the first leak of their third album, it was an open invitation to an uncharted destination. The festive explosion of kaleidoscopic Californian acid hippie reborn as UK glam star explored new terrain, hinting a further evolution for a group that is yet to make the same record twice. Zonoscope was dreamt in the comedown of In Ghost Colours, the album which cemented Cut Copy as a global sensation. Their perpetual touring cycle found the band headline a stage at Lollapalooza, become the first Australian act to play Colombia since INXS, have fire marshals shut down an LA performance mid-set as crowds began to buckle the seams of the Henry Fonda Theatre and be raced to the Pitchfork Festival via police escort following a cancelled flight. If you do not have a ticket, we strongly...
- edythe