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My love gave me Rotisserie chicken for Valentines day, sadly I wasn't home last night for us to throw it on the bed and make love in it.
It' nice that it can do the Kessel run in less then 12 parsecs, but anything over 4 years has to get an emissions test.#GalacticEmpireDMV
@KingdomJamesEsq option two talked to him off stage already
Comic just called some one a sand n*%# and he was second. They want me to do a half an hour.
@VaderVonDoom you better step up YOUR game
Blue hair? That's crazy!
@MrBobKerr is it good? Or same old crap?
“@VaderVonDoom: And now they're awarding this m-f'er?!?!?! Team Abuser.” I'm putting that on your tombstone
@TheMarkDeBonis oh yeah the beach scene
Ok a tribute to the Beach Boys is all well and good but what about Billy Ocean? Get out of dreams and hand him an award! #grammys
What happened to the Asian guy from the beach boys? #Grammys
...it's about what goes on here and here and now ladies and gentleman Ryan Seacrest. #howww3willbegin #grammys
But seriously When is Zamphir coming out?#GrammyAwards
some call it the #Grammys, I like to think of it as the show that let's me see what music I need to download
“@VaderVonDoom: Why are #foofighters outside playing for a crowd of extras? #Grammys” because I said so
If you see me in a cowboy hat and suit its laundry day or I'm a vampire either way please cut my head off and put me out of my misery.
@luckymakeup I think it's dana carved doing Ross Perot in drag
Chris Browns performance was originally supposed to be a barber shop quartet with Mel Gibson, Ike turner and Bashar al-Assad
Listening to my cougar wife mentally undress LL cool J during a speech for Whitney Houston is not only sad but troubling
@WizardBrian they ways we express appreciation for ones we love
Awesome time last night, heading home to wife, pets and PS3 (not necessarily in that order)
“@fred42: @GavinbStephens there always is, isn't there. #GirlLifeProblems” yes there is
who's crazier, the old lady or the woman who keeps engaging her? - http://gawker.com/5883762/
@fred42 two in the stink one in the choda
@fred42 you have to really get in close
In my self defense class for the woman on a budget I'll show you how to defend yourself by replacing a tazer with the thriftier shocker.
Inside Edition is running a week long expose on how the poor is scamming us cause it's about time someone took down those Flint,MI fat cats
The key to good intervention is to think of it as a roast with tears
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