Watchmen Penis Offends Conservative Critics - Derrick

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Watchmen Penis Offends Conservative Critics - http://blog.spout.com/2009...

March 10, 2009 from Bookmarklet - Comment - Like - Share

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"Forget trying to maneuver your way through all the mixed reactions to Watchmen crowding the interweb today. There’s only one question you need to answer, apparently, in order to make up your mind whether or not to see the highly anticipated adaptation: are you okay with a massive blue penis in an R-rated comic book movie, or will you be offended and demand an apology from the MPAA? Over at the site Movieguide, which is partnered with The Christian Film & Television Commission, organization chairman and “spokesmen” (is he multiple people?) Dr. Ted Baehr is quoted as saying Watchmen should have received an NC-17 rating for its constant display of male anatomy, and he claims the MPAA has agreed to bring the complaint to their ratings board." - Derrick from Bookmarklet

Blue Man Schlong - Tinfoil 2.0

thats pathetic... any males without these natural wonders? :o/ - Rob Sellen :o)

The heavens forbid it's made public knowledge that males possess penises. O_o - Derrick

I'll like anything involving peen! - Sparky, lurking

I wish I could have counted the number of people who were talking about this as I was leaving the movie. What they didn't know is that the comic featured as much or more nudity. - mike fabio

They shouldn't be offended. It's not a real penis, is a computer generated penis :D - Bibi

it offends me when i get hit on in restrooms by these same conservative critics - Cee Bee

Cee Bee, you too? - Derrick

so, the sex scene and the attempted rape scene didn't offend them. An exposed penis (I swear it flits between natural and mutilated.. er, circumcised a few times too!) is what gets them hot under the collar? Pathetic, what are they trying to save us from exactly? Cause I see a cock every day, doesn't make me do bad things! - alphaxion

I hate the double standard here. They complain about too much peen, but don't bat an eye when someone's arms get sawed off and copious amounts of blood spray out? Riiiight. - Jonathan Hardesty

prudes is all.... - Rob Sellen :o)

I've never seen a big blue penis before, and i doubt many people have. So, they should back off and let everyone have a peek. - Simon Wicks

Dr. Ted Baehr needs to stop tapping other men's feet in bathroom stalls next to him - Cee Bee

Do we have a better screencap than that? I'm looking for a wallpaper sized blue schlong shot and coming up empty on the intarwebs. - Sparky, lurking

When I saw Watchmen on Friday night, there were loud groans of disgust from adolescent boys whenever the penis appeared or a male butt. Maybe their is an equivalency between young males and conservatives? Either way, you DON'T have to SEE the MOVIE. - Kenley Neufeld

No one in the group I saw the movie with mentioned the offending member. We were too busy talking about how awesome the REST of the movie was.... - iTad

Tad, I happen to think that big blue penis is actually kind of awesome. - Derrick

Tad - are you saying the offending member wasn't awesome too? - Sparky, lurking

It's so surprising the difference in reaction depending on who complains. Had something in the Watchmen insulted immigrants or some other minority, everyone would be off the hook. Because it's an organization that is related to a Christian organization people say wow, how unbelievable these people are! Get real people! Same rules should apply for everyone! - Gavin

Gavin - I don't get what you're saying. The "offending" part only really offends incredibly prudish Christians who probably shouldn't be out watching Watchmen anyway. Most Christians aren't nearly so up-tight. So, no, we don't care if something silly offends a tiny minority of prudes. Too bad. Don't go see the movie. Your analogy fails. - iTad

Sparky - said member was not the least bit exciting. It was kinda just there. - iTad

the prudes are pathetic... - Rob Sellen :o)

Of course, some CG cock gets them all in a tizzy about the wrongness of the world. Of course, these are the same sort of people who think that 12 year old girls should be having babies. Put these lunatics in rubber rooms, says I. - Chris Charabaruk

exactly chris... hypocrites... the same idiots support a church that has pervs in them.... - Rob Sellen :o)

Hold on a second guys. There's nothing wrong in and of itself in not wanting to see CG penises on the screen. It's fine for someone to not like that. What's NOT fine is them trying to enforce their morality on the rest of us. I know most really conservative people will never watch the movie, and that's ok. Also the vast majority of them aren't calling for any changes either. - iTad

HAHAHAHA! I KNEW IT! Almost all of the Christian conservative tweeters I asked about Watchmen told me that it was one of the worst movies they have ever seen because of the giant blue penis! - Michael Forian

What is wrong with people who are more offended by the presence of a flaccid penis than by violence? Don't get me wrong, I'm a Watchmen fan from way back, but you'd think that the R-rating and violence would scare away all the people who are too delicate for grownup fare. - Anika Palm

Lindsey - I didn't think it moved at all. It wasn't ever the focal part of any scene. It was just Jon standing there naked - nothing sexual at all about it. - iTad

I found the ultra-violence much more disturbing, and I'm a big fan of the comic. It's not like I didn't know what was coming. More horrible than any of that though was the acting by Silk Spectre II and Adrian Veidt. TEH HUMANITY. - Derrick

Now I think I would understand if Dr Manhattan had been swinging his schlong around or if he was erect and thrusting it around, but it was just simple human nudity and I just can't wrap my head around being offended by that. My guess is that some conservative men are afraid to look because they're afraid they might be gay. - iTad

Wait do you have a clearer picture of this "display" so we can better judge :) - The Real sofarsoShawn

Derrick - you're making too much critical sense. :P - iTad

Well, it didn't really flop around. If anything it barely even moved! Still, they're taking focus away from the theme of the art and just standing there, pointing and yelling "there's a penis, ignore the questioning of humanity and our nature!". - alphaxion

Shawn, for the most part, the thumbnail above captures how prominent the penis was. - iTad

This penis is getting so much flak, I wonder if it'll be up for an Emmy :o) - Just Katie

Penises move, Lindsey! They do! - Derrick

It totally got the "shaft" for an Oscar - The Real sofarsoShawn

I wonder if they're also offended by Michelangelo's David, and other works of fine art. - stretta

@Shawn....Awesomesauce!!! - Just Katie

@stretta - a number of years ago, a local columnist in Spokane, Wa, wrote a serious article complaining about nudity in famous works of art, and especially the statue of David. Sad, but true. - Jennifer Dittrich

My only problem with the blue penis was thinking there was a poor guy acting naked most part of the film. But since there wasn't, I'm fine. I didn't notice it moving. I think I was too busy looking at other things at the film. BTW, I think conservatives must hate many French and European films in general: too many "natural" scenes with naked people. :) - Bibi

The Other Brian, and what of the people who don't find it offensive? Why should they be punished because a group of people can't just ignore/not watch something that they don't like. They instead decide it is their place to play moral police for the rest of the world. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

I think that might be linked to the fact that in the US, some people won't show movies that are rated higher than an R and there's certainly many places that won't stock the DVD's of movies rated higher than R. - alphaxion

...I guess none of the reviewers have ever had blue-balls. - JA Castillo

If I was on the MPAA and in fact even if I wasn't and I had a massive wang being paraded in front of me, I would totally, totally, be ok with that. But I know, you're saying, "he's a head of his time, WOW!" - The Real sofarsoShawn

rest of the world? how so? - Rob Sellen :o)

Is the USA the most prudish country? seems that way... and yet the biggest buyers and watchers of porn??? lmao.... - Rob Sellen :o)

NC-17 ratings kill movies and limit distribution. - stretta from twhirl

Haters - Shevonne from fftogo

I don't understand what the problem is. Are people saying that under no circumstances, including with parental supervision are we to allow those under 17 to view a flaccid, computer-generated penis, simply as a part of the naked male form? That is what an NC-17 rating is. Rape, killing, exploding bodies, that is all ok, but _PENIS_ OMFG. Maybe if the penis was running around killing people, that would be fine, but, just there, on the screen, UNACCEPTABLE. - stretta from twhirl

Being rated NC-17 would not be as big a punishment IF the same groups lobbying for this movie to have an NC-17 hadn't already bullied the theaters into not carrying the "evil" movies. Not to mention that the movie does in fact carry an R rating, which last time I checked meant Restricted for adults. Non sexual nudity has been deemed an R rated offense. I do in fact care about ratings. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

who cares what hollywood will sell.. they make crap films anyway... they change the truth to suit them in movies.... - Rob Sellen :o)

Film studios have also pressured the MPAA to retire the NC-17 rating, because it can make their film worthless (e.g. most Blockbuster stores refuse to carry DVDs rated NC-17 and many daily newspapers also refuse ads for NC-17 films). -wikipedia - stretta from twhirl

Also, about wanting to be informed about a film before paying for it. Why is that the responsibility of a simple letter (which I believe already did its job with the Restricted comment anyway). Why can't we expect people to be responsible and do a little research on their own nowadays before heading out? You have the Internet you could have found out about this issue long before leaving the house. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

aaaRRRGHH why don't they all just go bury their heads someplace??? Reality is not going to conform to their pathetic, perfect little standards. PENISES. THEY EXIST. PLEASE GET OVER IT. And anyway I can't STAND the double standards. Half-naked women are all over the place. There has been plenty of female frontal nudity in movies. No clamoring for an NC-17 for that. UGH. So tired of these people. - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

Lindsey, I don't ever think I said your opinions should mesh with mine. Lemme go back and check to make sure. - Derrick

As Tad said, fine, be offended if you want to, but don't impose that stuff on everybody else. It's ridiculously easy to find out what's in a film on the internet so you won't accidentally go and be so SHOCKED! Quit trying to shield everybody's kids from everything. Worry about brainwashing your own. - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

good to have the rating for the kids... that's the whole point of it... but you need to replace the morons who decide the rating... - Rob Sellen :o)

The rating is a guideline, not an essay. My argument is why shouldn't you have to do some footwork? Since it is you who is ultimately going to be offended or not why are you not responsible for making some effort? Walking blindly into a movie sounds pretty irresponsible to me. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

Interesting, Kamilah. I totally forgot about the abundance of female nudity in movies. No one seems to be getting their crank turned over those images in film. - Derrick

listen. I'm leaving you free to NOT see the movie. people on your side of the thing want to change the rating all over something stupid, so chances are it wouldn't be seen by as many people (kids would be restricted). So who is imposing on who?? - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

I demand blue penii in every movie, regardless of rating from this moment forth! - stretta from twhirl

Brian...I'm not arguing for Any change. I believe that the rating should stand and it is up the the individual to decide whether or not they should see a movie. So, you are saying that the rest of the world should be mindful of your personal feelings at all times and you are not responsible at all? - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

Lindsey, I want to go back and have Titanic rated NC-17 instead of PG-13. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

She was naked! I saw her boobs and everything. ..Also the movie was an hour too long and over directed. But we can't rate such things, so yeah the boobies. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

Honestly I can't remember. I only saw the movie once and it was long long ago. But not so long that it doesn't still haunt me. - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

Kamilah you're just a Killah with your arguments! +++ - The Real sofarsoShawn

How stupid. - Mona Nomura

Wow, this thread is really getting swollen. It's huge! - Tinfoil 2.0

Shit yeah, this is one swollen MEMBER! - The Real sofarsoShawn

Just a stunning...erection, just STUNNING - The Real sofarsoShawn

of course the difference being they're trying to bury something they don't like while those of us who find a lot of what they promote to be filth (you do know that segments of the bible read like a mills and boon novel, right? there's some nasty, perverted stuff in that book!) and yet don't call for their stuff to be buried. - alphaxion

Brian, I agree their opinions are just as valid. However they Have a recourse. They can not watch the movie. However they are attempting to have the movie re-rated so that those who's sensibilities aren't akin to theirs do not have the option of seeing it. There is nothing forcing people to see the movie, but having it rated NC-17 essentially removes it from about %90 of venues. Why not just have them burn the film? - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

I think Brian Norwood implied that leaving the movie as a Rated R movie is just as compelling as the right-wing groups trying to destroy the movie by rating it NC-17. If that's what you were really implying, do you really believe that? How can we be pushing anything on conservatives when they have the CHOICE not to look at it (or allow their children to look at it)? - iTad

I don't think people understand what really is at stake here. Several independent studies have confirmed that even a single accidental glance at blue ween can instantly turn you gay. It's science. - stretta from twhirl

I heard that was how Derrick turned fag, that's what it says in the Bible - The Real sofarsoShawn

here you go. a larger image of the offender http://iesb.net/images... nothing offending at all in my opinion. - Alexander Kucera

Look in the mirror! Ohh no! There's another one! Quick, chop it off! - Mo Kargas

@Mo, there is no need to have mirrors that hang below the shoulders ;-) - Alistair (alpinefolk)

@Alistair LOL - Mo Kargas

They were even shocked within the movie itself.http://bit.ly/H3ICk - Tony Miller

Now Mark Wilson wants to fuck Prince Charles rather than that hot piece of Queen; he was turned by the blue wang - The Real sofarsoShawn

Sure, some of these folks deserve you saying that, Brian, because they're getting totally irreverent about the whole thing, but if you're talking about all of us, what you said totally applies to yourself. You don't get what's wrong with censoring something for everyone just to protect a few sensitive people. What most of us are trying to say is that it's probably better to let everyone handle this themselves. We don't need some governing body to tell us what's okay. Some of us got a bit harsh about it. - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

++JA Castillo. The poor guys's got blue balls. That's never fun. - Josh Haley

also, it's fine to have a differring opinion. But that's just it, they're going beyond that opinion and trying to turn it into policy for no other purpose than selfish reasons, ignoring the wishes of other people. - alphaxion

8============D - sean percival

Brian I'm still not getting what you're saying. Do you mean that simply because the movie contains content that offends people that it should be rated NC-17? - iTad

@brian the thing is, their protest is made with full knowledge that a change to nc-17 would effectively shut the movie out from being shown and subsequently sold in a rather large amount of places (unlike the UK, were we will show and sell movies rated 18 which is the equiv of your nc-17). So there is a maliscious intent to have it blocked from being seen in the majority of outlets. Which certainly *is* censorship. - alphaxion

I'm not intending to watch it, whatever size and/or color penises are in it. LOL - Ian May

what needs to happen in the US is the removal of the stigma and penalties surrounding the NC-17 rating so that subject material such as this is treated as the adult material it is (and by adult I don't mean porno, as in the themes and subject matter are of an adult nature rather than suitable for children). - alphaxion

@brian actually, I'm sure the controversy around Basic Instinct wasn't really around the Beaver leg uncrossing shot, it was surrounding the lesbian scene that was subsequently cut from the movie. - alphaxion

Alphaxion. Unfortunatly we can't because the very same groups (or at least some of them) trying to up the rating to NC-17 have also bullied the theaters into not playing films rated higher than R. At one time they were fighting R but they conceded. Nice of them yes? - Joe "Looptid" Pierce

@Joe which is why I'm pointing out that their protest at the movie is with maliscious intent. They don't want to change the rating because the rating would fit the content, they want the change because of how it'll impeed the distribution of the movie. Something Brian is totally overlooking. - alphaxion

@Brian and it should be, but it's not. Now, I'm not from the US so I don't know the full details. But what I do know is that many of the cinemas and shops were put under massive pressure from religious puritanicals and the PTA (?) to curtail the distribution of NC-17. Now, here in the UK we simply have U, PG, 12, 12A, 15 and 18 ratings of which they are legally binding (illegal to sell to or admit people under the rating) but nowhere stops the distribution of it. - alphaxion

how large can this blue penis possibly be? Everybody saying "it was huuuuge...." Also I have to disagree with Lindsey calling the penis "the most ridiculous part of the human body". If our society's popular mores have reduced the penis to the status of "ridiculous appendage" then we're defiantly doing something wrong. - Rafael Robayna

I didn't think it was that huge and I saw it in IMAX - Lynne d Johnson

LOL @ Lynne (and kinda LOL at this thread...). - Derrick

@Lynne ....LOLz! And on IMAX it couldn't have been, what, two or three feet long in actual screen dimensions. - .LAG liked that

I don't recall the Walk Hard conservative anti-penis uproar... or did I miss it? Because they could /not/ be missed :P - Michael W. May

You know what? I didn't want to see The Passion of Christ, so I didn't. Stupid conservative sheep need to go read reviews and find out if a dreaded penis hangs out there to ruin their morality and corrupt their children and then decide that they and their children won't go. Those people are idiots. "Oooh, a card game uses the word 'demon,' let's make them stop producing it!" "Oooh, that book talks about magic; let's ban it!" It is all about censorship and control, and they're not getting me to fall for it. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

And for the record, I thought he was rather well-endowed, and I watched it move. If you can't handle it, don't. If you just kept watching it, instead of the rest of the movie, that is not the producers' fault. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

@MageAbortsBorgBabies You know it! Conservative right wing sheep need to get some MASSIVE blue shlong fed to them slowly! - The Real sofarsoShawn

@minimage actually he is bigger than average by about an inch. - alphaxion

Just to clarify, I'm not calling all conservatives stupid or sheep. Heck, I married one. I'm specifically calling out conservatives who are also stupid sheep of the human variety. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Oh well in that case...they should get it served to them even more slowly - The Real sofarsoShawn

The biggest Dick in this movie is Nixon. - Karim

what doesn't offend conservatives? - BEX

Just saw Brian's comment about the meatus shifting around. If they were deliberately trying to draw attention to it, that would be unnecessary roughness. [note: I thought using the textbook term would be safer, but I think it's even worse] - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

UH HUHUHUHUHUH....You were looking at that dude's weiner....HUHHUHUH. You like weiners... - Rah-PM 2012

A blue penis? Oh, c'mon! Get a grip here people! ... Not on the penis!!! - Michael Forian

Oh for crying out loud. And so it begins ... Give me a break. - ::Kristen::

WTF is a meatus & what kind of "straight" person knows what that is? A closeted one perhaps...? Hehehhee Rasheen's right, he likes weiners!!!! hehehehehee. He's even got the biology down! - The Real sofarsoShawn

re: the comments about NC-17 as censorship, if you don't think NC-17 is effectively censoring the film, watch "This Film Is Not Yet Rated", it's an excellent documentary on the MPAA's rating system - Louis Simoneau

+1 Louis. - Derrick

found it: a meatus is http://img379.imageshack.us/img379... but imagine it blue - The Real sofarsoShawn

@sofarsoshawn: Any person, straight or otherwise, who took college Anatomy and Physiology ought to know what a meatus is. Females have meatuses, too, btw. Also, Brian referred to it as an "eye," and I used the textbook term. I'm quite openly hetero. :p - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Oh i thought Brian did, seriously has anyone seen the ginonourmous engorgment of this post? Couldn't read it all ~ I was questioning his orientation...my word of the day meatus. I'm going to prounounce it like meet-us hehehehhe - The Real sofarsoShawn

articles like this remind me why I hate social conservatives. - Jeffrey Canton

Haven't got time to read all this, but the whole thing seems ridiculous. Is this the Victorian era? Such a minor issue, shouldn't be one at all. - jjprojects

Conservative critics don't have one? - Jemm

tho the head itself is called the glans, just to let people know. - alphaxion

And know that now, tons of gay comic book nerds are going to dress up (and by dress up I mean paint themselves blue and be naked) as Doc Manhattan on Gay Christmas...er, I mean Halloween. You can bet on it. - Derrick

Wow, I'm suddenly VERY afraid of what DragonCon will be like this year. Good thing I'm not going! - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

@MiniMageAbortsBorgBabies I was thinking the EXACT thing... - The Real sofarsoShawn

I know, it's a subtle suggestion: they're evil - The Real sofarsoShawn