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OJ severely beaten in prison. He'd bent down to pick up the soap when an inmate mistook him for a former boyfriend.
Tiger Woods' wife Elin has moved out. When she discovered she wasn't his hole in one, she said it was all over.
Nicholas Cage wins UN humanitarian work. By accepting roles in bad movies, he's been keeping people playing outdoors instead.
Taliban vows to match Obama's increase by adding 4 goats & a herder. Angry General McChrystal agrees this gives the Taliban the upper hand.
@cinemafreak you can see 20 new episodes of Goodnight Burbank at http://www.babelgum.com/goodnig...
Australian opposition elects new leader - but regardless of his fresh, exciting agenda he's still descended from criminals.
Goodnight Burbank's @dhlawrencexvii returns to Heroes tonight for a multi-episode story arc as Doyle, The Puppeteer!!
Goodnight Burbank's very own David H. Lawrence returns to Heroes tonight for a multi-episode story arc as Eric Doyle, The Puppeteer!!
Chelsea Clinton announces engagement! For sake of family, Bill Clinton has been asked just this once not to celebrate with a cigar.
Serena Williams fined record $82,500 for US Open tirade. She responded by taking a golf club to Tiger's already damaged SUV.
4 cops shot in coffee shop. Police looking for man with possible gun wound and triple grande mocha latte walnut whip with cream.
Robbie Williams claims he ISN'T engaged, despite what his mum says. So you're all right then, boys.
Priest admits to abusing over 100 children. Pope confirms he'll be awarded Saint of Industry upon death.
Gatecrashing at White House state dinner worse than imagined. Turns out EVERY SINGLE GUEST at the event was uninvited, including Indian PM.
Tiger Woods injured in car crash when his SUV hits fire hydrant then tree. Officials applaud the move, saying it was 2 holes in 1.
Irish Catholic Church apologizes for abuse by priests. W/out Dave Allen around to criticize, the temptation to continue was much to strong.
Nigerian Prez. admitted to hospital. His cabinet have sent out emails on his behalf but can't understand why they're going to spam folders.
China promises to cut carbon emissions by 45% by 2020. How are they doing it? Beijing is banned from ever farting again.
Palin & Bachmann to headline First National Tea Party Convention. Because in America, nothing goes better with tea than nuts.
China kills 2 people responsible for tainted milk scandal. Something Obama should have thought about when dealing with Wall Street.
US to anounce target for cutting carbon emissions. To begin, Congress will be banned from talking every other week.
New map suggests Mars was once wet and humid. Or to put another way; a retirement community for aliens.
Heidi Klum takes Seal's last name 4 years after marrying him. It took this long because she had no idea what it was.
Astronaut's wife gives birth while he's in space. He says he's over the moon but his orbit clearly gives him away.
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