Heather B. Armstrong

This is the second installment of my gift guide for people who are shopping for looney loon loonballs like myself, all from shops that carry such cool stuff that if an item is sold out you can pretty much just browse everything else there and I'd want that, too. I was going to limit my entire gift guide to 20 items TOPS, but as you can see that didn't work out. I mean, there are two more installments coming. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a store that carried a life-size replica of Zac Efron that I could set up in my entryway, BUT I GUESS A DECORATIVE TEA TOWEL WILL DO. 1. Moonlit Clearing $40 2. "Park" large square pillow, red $65 3. Fern $30 4. Vintage Atlas Thank You Envelope Seals $6 5. Set of 3 Roly Dot Bowls - Felted Wool $42 6. The Girl and The Fox $18 7. Dotted Plate $36 1. Tiny Bird Vase $26 2. Book City Jackets Artists Edition No. 3 $15 3. Proud as a Peacock Modern Genealogy Chart $95 4. Cup with wing of butterfly $35 5. Hedgehog 11" X 14" $250 6. Buck $20 1. Jonathan Adler... - Heather B. Armstrong

SHHHHH! Don't tell Jon, but I just put that pair of underwear back in his drawer. click image above to see the photo on dooce.com by dooce in Daily Chuck © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as This is what happens when Dad leaves for four days. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

This was the scene this morning on the deck outside our kitchen. Oh, lonely, lonely umbrella, you whom we will not use for another six or seven months. I would hug you but that would be awkward. click image above to see the photo on dooce.com by dooce in Daily Photo © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Hibernating. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

Today's featured question from the community comes from user aslapintheface: Which is the perfect segue into what happened over the weekend, starting on Friday afternoon when Jon announced that I would be making gingerbread cookies with Leta the following day, didn't I know? Hadn't I heard? Because that's all she talked about on the ride home from school: gonna bake homemade gingerbread cookies with Mom! HUH? WHAAA? I would have been less surprised if she had said, "I cannot wait until Daddy teaches me about tampons!" Don't know if I have ever talked about it here, but I don't cook or bake or whatever it is you do in the kitchen. I mean, I can boil water, and occasionally I can manage to pull a bag of popcorn out of the microwave without it being attached to three-foot flames, but other than that Jon does all the cooking. In return I do all the, well, the... I can't really talk about what I do in return because this is a family-friendly website read every morning by my father. So... - Heather B. Armstrong

So I've learned that Punkin is a Maltipoo (a Maltese crossed with a poodle), and even here with the lens focused on her and the light of the flash going off, I STILL couldn't get a clear photo of her. This is the least blurry one I got out of about 100 shots. She's crazy! Let's not even talk about her outfit! Wonder if I could get Jon to wear something like that. To bed. click image above to see the photo on dooce.com by dooce in Daily Chuck © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Look who's back!. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

What is that you're eating, can I have some? What about that plate? That napkin? Can I put those in my mouth? Gimme that knife? No? Are you going to make me resort to my feet, because I WILL PUT THEM IN MY MOUTH, WOMAN. click image above to see the photo on dooce.com by dooce in Daily Photo © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Bird!. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

by admin in Daily © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Finally, I get bleeped by Momversation. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

Wow. Ok. I might have jumped in a bit over my head with the gift guide thing because I have done nothing else for the past week but look at amazing things online (well, in addition to all the other stuff I normally do, the usual professional blogging stuff, you know, WHINING). And I realized that the gift guide suggestions for someone who is buying stuff for someone like me was like my hair during my book reading in Portland back in March: OUT OF CONTROL. I got going with the curling iron, and next thing you know I couldn't stop, and there I am in front of a large group of people reading passages from my book looking like Medusa had climbed on top of my head and taken a yawping crap. So I'm breaking up the gift guide into several parts. The first one: books. All of these are ones I have read or plan to read in the next several months. I don't think you could go wrong with a single one. And yes, most of these are female authors, that wasn't intended, it's just how it happened, although... - Heather B. Armstrong

Me: "Jon. Punkin just proves that we need a really small dog." Jon: "NO NO NO NO NO NO." Me: "But—" Jon: "NO NO NO NO NO NO." Me: "But she—" Jon: "NOOOOOOOOO." Me: "Just hold her. HOLD HER." Jon: "..... SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" click image above to see the photo on dooce.com by dooce in Daily Chuck © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as The power of puppies. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

Time to announce the winners of the Xbox giveaway, and I have been told that I have to announce them as "Potential Winners" due to paperwork and whatnot. Without further ado, congratulations to: Comment #1961, pwillow1 Comment #792, snaves Comment #3956, joni l Comment #241, blender Comment #5755, Sugar Mama May your holidays be filled with virtual car crashes and hours lost to unlocking new levels. Of what, I don't know, but IT WILL BE SO AWESOME. Thanks to everyone who participated, and thank you Microsoft for sponsoring this! Now back to fart jokes. by dooce in Daily © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Winners! Winners! Winners!. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

Last night at the King's English holiday party I got to meet many, many wonderful people including Sister Dottie S. Dixon (on the left) and Pat Bagley (on the right), they who revised and updated and illustrated The Mormon Kama Sutra: "An Instant LDS classic when it first came on to the scene in the early '70s, it was a boon to a generation of newlyweds grappling with the concept of inserting tab A into slot B." I felt like I needed to bow down in front of such greatness as they are quite well known in these parts, and it just goes to show you that yes, Utah is full of awesome. Thank you, Jon, for capturing the moment. click image above to see the photo on dooce.com by dooce in Daily Photo © Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Esteemed colleagues. This post cannot be republished without express written permission. - Heather B. Armstrong

It's almost too easy to give in to your kids.  After all, every parent wants to give her kids more than she had.  But if you bend to every whim of your child, you risk raising a kid who might be a little, well, bratty.  But when your child looks at you with big eyes and asks,  "PleasePleasePlease, can I have Super Cool Hair Barbie?" it's pretty hard to say no.  Or is it?  And if you do give in to your child, do you feel guilty after?  Giyen Kim of Bacon Is My Enemy asks read more - Heather B. Armstrong