I dont have anything against gays,but what if it becomes widely accepted and they start having a lot of gay tv shows and cartoons. Eventually i'll have a son or a daughter they watch this and say to me? Daddy is it ok if i do that too or is it ok if i kiss a dude...I think NOT! Feedback from everyone.
This could happen regardless of whether or not your child watches shows where there are same-sex couples. Given that your reaction is so adamant, I question your first statement. It seems to me that you do have something against someone being gay. I would hope that if this does ever happen that you'll love your child enough to support him/her in the way that is needed.
- ♥patricia♥
It's more likely to happen if there head is being filled with the idea of it being correct. I don't want them to think it's ok. And if it's all over the tv and everywhere else they're likely to think it's ok. And i honestly don't have a problem with them..to each his own. but that doesn't mean i think it's right.
- Gordon Swaby
why would it not be ok for you for your son to be gay, or to explore that at least?
- mjc
First thing to do, stop differentiating 'gays' and 'non gays'. They are people too, who show emotion. Teach your son or daughter tolerance and acceptance, and watch them grow into incredible human beings.
- jcunwired
Because i want him to grow up. Have a wife, have children with that wife, it's simple really.
- Gordon Swaby
I feel sorry for your future children if that is your opinion. Kids have a funny way of finding things out on their own whether or not you're aware or approve.
- CAJ, somewhere else
This is not an issue if you help your children learn their own way. You can't live their lives for them.
- LPH™ and his dog P™
And now I'm done with this troll bait. The guy with the post about the South had already used up my patience this week.
- CAJ, somewhere else
I'm just throwing what i think out there, it's just been on my mind lately. I'm not bashing anyone here @ Alan.
- Gordon Swaby
@Gordon so you're not ok with your son being gay. nice job on "I don't have anything against gays"
- mjc
Its a legitimate question, and I'm sure a weight on anyone with children or thinking of having children. It all boils down to acceptance. Would you love your child any less when he/she grows up and comes to you with an announcement that was not a part of your ideal roadmap?
- jcunwired
Ok let me clarify Michael. I don't have a problem with Gays ( I have gay friends) but i would really love my son to turn out being one. And him constantly being exposed to it on tv would not help my situation. Maybe i should have kept this to myself because now I'm being labeled as a "troll"...
- Gordon Swaby
Gordon, my bad. I certainly overreacted a bit. Throwing out such a strong topic and seemingly be so one-sided of it is pretty typical troll-like behavior. Like I said, there was a guy earlier who did something similar just to get a rise out of folks here.
- CAJ, somewhere else
Ok look at it this way. If i have a child, he's not exposed to anything that would put the idea of him being gay ok in his head but ends up having that natural inclination then i guess i'd have to deal with it, on the other hand if i think he was influenced (which i think can happen) then i'd try my best to break that "impulse" for men...
- Gordon Swaby
@ If so i apologize Alan.It's been on my mind lately and i thought this would be a good medium to ask my question. Again i apologize if i seem one sided. Would love to hear from Derrick on this.
- Gordon Swaby
i don't think gordon should be crucified because he brought up a question like this. it's a sensitive topic for many on both sides, but no one gets anywhere with all the noise
- Cee Bee
Thanks Cee. I guess it's one of those things not everyone can agree on, but i think at the end of the day everyone should have respect for each other to avoid conflict.
- Gordon Swaby
Imagine being gay and having the idea of being straight as the only option. It's not easy for us on the other side of the equation either. Good luck.
- Derrick
So, your son would be more influence to being gay by seeing it presented as normal on, say, TV, but your daughter wouldn't be influenced towards being promiscuous because that's also what's being presented as normal on TV?
- FFing Enigma (aka Tina)
How am i being selfish @ Mitch. I never said i was stuck on the idea. I just wanted to have a discussion about it, I'm not bashing anyone.
- Gordon Swaby
Gordon, you can't make that choice. That pretty much ends the debate. Can you control the influences that your children absorb? Yes - to a point. But at the end of the day its not in your hands, so the only thing you can do is show love and support regardless of the choice. There's an old Buddhist saying - "if a problem can be solved there's no use worrying about it, and if it can't, worrying will do no good".
- jcunwired
@Tina I don't put being promiscuous and being gay in the same category Tina, that would be a poor analogy for me, but i get your point. Thinking about this in retrospect maybe i should have left this topic alone...It's way touchier than i thought it would be...ugh
- Gordon Swaby
Gordon, are you going to drop your gat friends when you have a child? Otherwise, your child will know that some people are gay from the fact you have gay friends.
- MaryB, BrandingBroadOfFF
Actually, it is Gordon. A daughter wanting to kiss boys is the same exploration and promiscuity as a son wanting to kiss boys.
- FFing Enigma (aka Tina)
umm.. you can't turn someone gay or straight. just because a kid sees to dudes kissing (and thinks its okay) does not mean they will turn gay. many gays come from strictly anti-gay families. if your kid is gonna be gay then he/she is gonna be gay.
- D. Eda Goze
Nahh its not Gordon, if it troubles you then let it out. Those who criticize you for your thoughts need to learn a lesson or two themselves. Keep discussing.
- jcunwired
I guess your right jcun, thanks. Really all i was asking for was insight, but apparently some people have made me out to be an asshole. I respect everything everyone says here and i'm just asking for the same.
- Gordon Swaby
So question. Let's say i have a child. He consumes a lot of violent content, watches only violent shows, has violent friends, he is more or less consumed by violence your telling me it's not possible that he'll end up being an aggressive person? If this is happening from infancy right up to adult hood?
- Gordon Swaby
Sexual orientation is not the same as being exposed to violence. At all.
- Rochelle
but that doesnt seem relevant to me. you can make someone violent, but you cant make someone gay. thats the thing. gay is something you're born with, not grow into.
- D. Eda Goze
I can see where Gordon is coming from. I am not "anti-gay" and would love my kids the same gay or straight. Reasons I would have misgivings about my kid coming out: 1. Many people in our family(including their grandparents) would likely disown them immediately. 2. I know they would face discrimination and I would hate to see that. 3) My wife would have a difficult time dealing with the...
more...
- Alan Simpson
@Mary I have gay friends, not necessarily close to them, i won't invite them over for dinner or anything.
- Gordon Swaby
I also think there are a looooot of gay content on tv/magazines/internet etc. i doubt it turns anyone gay.
- D. Eda Goze
Alan - so start now to do your part to fight against discrimination. You've got what it takes already :)
- jcunwired
@Deniz That's debatable. I don't' think being being Gay is anything innate.
- Gordon Swaby
As soon as you become comfortable with the fact that you're a homophobe, the less conflicted you'll be.
- Akiva Moskovitz
Won't invite them over for dinner? Ok, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you've just lost it. I'd rather you just say you hate gay people which all of your actions dictate, than say you don't and try to sugar coat it. Good luck with that.
- Derrick
Gordon - I was on your side until that last statement "I won't invite them over for dinner or anything". Now I'm agreeing with Akiva. Effectively, there's no hope for you.
- jcunwired
D-mn that was trolling, I hope. Won't break bread and share a meal with someone. I hope that was in jest.
- Mathew A. Koeneker
jcunwired - I've spent many hours teaching classes of middle school boys at my church why it is wrong for them to discriminate against people based on sexual orientation. The hatred starts early. Most of the kids I taught had been drilled with the extreme right wing agenda for a long time. I'm surprised the parents didn't get me kicked out of the church for my lessons on this subject.
- Alan Simpson
@ Derrick I'm Jamaican i live in Jamaica and I'm a Proud Jamaican. I personally wouldn't mind it BUT in Jamaica, The populace is still widely homophobic. If i was to do such a thing then I'd be labeled as being gay and being labeled as being gay here by everyone including the naive people here does not spell out well. It ruins your career and everything else.
- Gordon Swaby
You're right, don't invite them over to dinner. The gay rubs off. Your kid might accidentally kick their foot under the table and it's all over then.
- Trish R
Hiding the reality of homosexuality from gay kids doesn't make them straight, it makes them (generally speaking) emotional train wrecks.
- Alix Whitmire
Here we go again wish the bashing...i don't even get the privilege of explaining myself ...? Wow .When i said " I wouldn't invite them over for dinner" i didn't mean it literally i was just trying to explain my point...
- Gordon Swaby
It's sad that the original question is getting buried in the noise here. I guess everyone believes that outside influences have no affect on sexuality?
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
more fiyah! rofl sorry I just had to say that :P
- Kirk
I wasn't trying to say that at all, Rah. As I asked above: how is one's daughter wanting to kiss and explore with boys because that's what she saw on TV somehow more acceptable than one's son doing the same?
- FFing Enigma (aka Tina)
Gordon, I'm well aware of the homophobia rampant in Jamaica. And at the end of the day, you're free to do what you want and wish to do. As a gay man who is dealing with homophobia in America, it's a tough life to live, and you can believe that I certainly didn't choose this lifestyle; why would I? It's taken me years, of therapy, of suicide attempts, of self-hatred, of stress to finally accept who I am. I really feel for the gay men and women who have to endure that environment.
- Derrick
Gordon - Is the gist of your question? Nature or nurture? In other words, is sexual orientation hardwired or learned?
- Mathew A. Koeneker
Its really something how most posts centering around hot button issues always seem to take the same turn. Maybe we should just stick to posts about SciFi, Macs and LOLcats...
- J. Abdul-Qahhar
Rah, generally, no. I think outside influences plus the fact that sexuality is a continuum, not an either/or can lead to exploration, or even acting out a sexuality that you aren't for a time (ie, homophobia causing a gay person to marry someone of the opposite sex or straight chicks having sex with each other for male attention), but none of that changes the underlying sexuality of the person. I started getting crushes on girls when I was 5. I didn't even know about homosexuality until my late teens.
- Alix Whitmire
let me jump in and support Gordon. Homosexuality is unnatural and I personally believe it is a learned behavior in the MAJORITY of cases.
- Kirk
This is a hard question. I don't think any parent really wants their kids experementing sexually at a young age. I don't care if it's my daughter kissing boys or my son doing the same. The point is that I wouldn't want my kid to do something they might regret later. If my son was gay, I wouldn't want them to try and be straight and vice versa. I even know people that experimented with same sex stuff and were pretty disturbed by it later.
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
For the record, I have no ill will towards Gordon. I wish him well. I hope he lives a happy life in Jamaica. I've lived my live as a big gay dude my whole life now. And while I would like to share my experiences with people on how I've arrived here, I never was under the idea that I would change every person wary of gays lives into some big happy rainbow dance. I'm much more realistic than that.
- Derrick
That's the point I was trying to make, Rah. Why is having gay relationships and sexuality on TV more any different than the plethora of promiscuous straight sexuality that's being shown on TV?
- FFing Enigma (aka Tina)
I know that these are "hot button" questions. Kirk...I am sure you garnered a few blocks with that comment. I am glad that folks here are willing to engage in discourse. if you can't discuss something without venom, then there is no hope for understanding.
- Mathew A. Koeneker
If you believe that seeing same-sex couples expressing affection for each other will encourage your children to "become gay", and you live in a homophobic culture, then exercise your parental responsibility and turn off the TV and don't take them to movies that show such things. Bigotry and intolerance are learned attitudes, you can easily pass them along to your children. But no one...
more...
- Jack (a.k.a. Jeber)
for the most part I'd have to say I agree with Kirk and Rahsheen
- John Blanton
from twhirl
Interesting. Now I'm unnatural and I learned how to be gay. Is that on one of my report cards?
- Derrick
@Kirk does that mean that you would willingly have sex with a man? I mean for it to be "a choice" (and thats really what you're saying) it would have to be some thing that any one might try under the most benign of circumstances
- J. Abdul-Qahhar
regarding the nature vs nurture thing -- it's tough to say. i say this "speaking" as a straight male. i think perhaps someone who's homosexual might be more qualified to answer that question. i'm not sure that the analogy of violence affecting young viewers is in line with a young person seeing "homosexuality" on tv and being equally affected by it to the point of acting out. there's...
more...
- Cee Bee
D, yeah, it's on the pink one with the sparkles on it.
- Akiva Moskovitz
@ Mathew you seem rather sensitive, I meant or can see no discourse or venom in my comment I merely stated my opinion which you obviously don't agree with.
- Kirk
Yes, I am a sensitive hetero human male. I didn't say that I blocked you. I really don't use the block feature. You can't deny that your comment was inflammatory and not helpful to intelligent discourse.
- Mathew A. Koeneker
I am a single mother, and I have a really good male friend who is gay and who has been a great male role model to my son. In my opinion, it makes kids more tolerant than to tell them there's only one way to be and everything else is wrong. My son would have lost a great mentor and friend if he had been told that this guy's lifestyle is "wrong" or "unnatural." It's just not an issue for kids. Most kids don't notice race either, until adults point it out.
- Trish R
Maybe the basic idea here is that we don't want our kids to learn about sex or sexuality from TV or something. I don't think it matters if it's a gay or straight thing. I would never tell my kid that being gay is unnatural and I don't pretend to know if some people learn it as a behavior, but I knew my oldest brother was gay since we were knee-high to a grasshopper. We were really close...
more...
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
1UP Rahsheen for all sorts of awesomeness but especially for earnestly using the phrase 'knee-high to a grasshopper'.
- Akiva Moskovitz
2UP Rahsheen, and I'll throw one more your way if you have your brother call me.
- Derrick
When I was a kid, if I had seen all of these things on TV, it wouldn't have changed anything. I'm attracted to females, and there is nothing that could have turned that around lol.
- The Kid
Thanks Akiva :) I guess getting more to the point is that we basically had the same upbringing and turned out completely different. We both loved to sing and dance. We both knew all the choreography to several Micheal Jackson and Janet Jackson videos. We learned gymnastics together in the grass following diagrams from library books. Just so happens he likes boys and I like women. (sorry, D. He has been in a committed relationship for some years now) :)
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
your violence analogy doesn't hold for another reason: watching violence doesn't beget violence. in fact one study suggests that violent movies *reduce* it. so no worries about your kid catching teh gay ok? watching won't make him gay anymore than playing a violent game means he'll shoot kids in the sandbox. being gay will make him gay.
- tiffany
Oh no! Your kid is gay! Now, why is that a cause of concern?
- anna sauce
I can't believe I read this entire thread. it doesn't shock me that some parents share Gordon's views about homosexuality. I get that. the thing is, there's nothing you can do about it. the vast majority of homosexuals didn't *learn* to feel love for the same sex vs. the opposite. and yes, I'm going the love route vs. the sex route because it's the sex that phobes get hung up on. anybody can have sex. there are emotions behind our sexuality. it's not just "this body part feels good in that body part".
- jbrotherlove
And that's why I *love* jbrotherlove. That is all.
- Derrick
I think the love part is definitely more acceptable than the sex part for most people, but also probably the most overlooked part.
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
"I don't have anything against gays, but I don't want my kids thinking it's ok to be gay". Cognitive dissonance much?
- Neal Jansons
This was a very interesting conversation. My take away is that we need to be involved parents and make sure the our kids grow to be GOOD PEOPLE capable of making their own decisions.
- Vaughn
Gordon, if they're gay, they're gay - ain't nothing on TV or anywhere else that will change that - if they're not, then they aren't gonna wanna kiss a same sex person - reality, however, is that sexuality is a spectrum and no one is one thing or the other, we're various shades of gray
- William Harryman
Happy birthday to the most wittiest, engaging, empathic and helpful kid I know. You're the best daughter anyone could ever hope for and we are proud of all of your accomplishments. We can't wait to see what surprises you'll give us in the coming year. We love you.
- Captain Bubbles
from Bookmarklet
Many many happy return of the day, Ilia! :)
- vijay
She's so sweet. I went to make breakfast and see we only have 2 eggs left. I was going to make her a birthday omelet. She said, 'You can have the eggs mama since you're bigger. I'll have birthday cereal." Awwww.
- Captain Bubbles
Pretty Girl! Ya'll should come back to Jamaica soon, Happy Birthday Llia!
- Gordon Swaby
Gordon, I would love to take her to Jamaica. I show her photos and since she's a big Elephant Man & Bob Marley fan (don't ask), she would be thrilled to go to the birthday place of reggae.
- Captain Bubbles
This little girl's charm and charisma oozes from pictures and her eyes are so wise, kind, and breathtaking. Annika - she's going to change the world!
- Mona Nomura
from fftogo
I showed her this entry on my phone earlier today. She asked me about the blue (links to your names) under the photo. I said, "Those are the people wishing you happy birthday." And she said, "Aw, FriendFeed is so friendly. That's probably why they picked that name. We should invite them all over for my birthday party. "
- Captain Bubbles
She sounds so amazing. And how proud you must be! But don't forget, children are reflections of their parents, too. ;)
- Mona Nomura
from fftogo
Mona believe me when I say, she didn't get any of those traits from me. Well, except the witty part. ;) She reminds me more of my grandmother who was awesome.
- Captain Bubbles
Anika - as much you may deny or roll your eyes at my cheese, you are (or can be) open, warm, and welcoming. You pay attention to and interact with anyone and everyone that interacts with you. Thatmakes me think she's picked up a lot of her amazingness from you, dude. Now don't EVEN get me started on the flaws! (had to toss that in to counter the mush. Ha)
- Mona Nomura
from fftogo
only in football, basketball, track, tennis and golf. baseball? volleyball? auto racing? equestrian? lacrosse? not so much ... LOL (only sort of kidding)
- tiffany
I love how racism is perfectly acceptable here, but if that was the other way around, it'd be outrage. If you feel okay offending somebody, keep it in mind next time a white person does something evil to somebody black, an asian to an indian, etc. Sorry, but... tacky. Very.
- Patricia
ahem... Michael Phelps? This is all in jest, of course. We can do this because I'd say the majority, if not all of us, here have not a bit of racism in us. We can laugh at ourselves and be confident that there's nothing more to it. At least, I hope that's the case.
- Vince DeGeorge
Racism? No I disagree. Discrimination? You can argue that, yes. Perhaps degrading a minority, I'm listening...
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
See Shey, now you're in trouble. Oh yeah, +Vince DeGeorge.
- Anna Haro
I would be highly P'Od if someone had a poster that said white people were so much better than black people at getting Nobel Prizes, Pulitzer Prizes, or even Bloggies.
- MiniMage TKDteacher of FF
@Mini Then I would point out the well known socio-economic and digital divides that follow racial lines. This is just a poster about sports. [crap, now I've really opened a can of worms]
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
I can't deny how well-known they are, but I've seen for myself that we sometimes create our own lines. One thing I am hoping to get out of the Obama administration is a clear signal to our youth that excelling academically is not tantamount to rejecting the skins we're in (and I suspect that's the can inside the can).
- MiniMage TKDteacher of FF
well, i think mine are mostly addicts to Nintendo. thanks for reading! my blog is mostly for family that never comment because we talk on the phone or email.
- Trish Haley
"And I'm in the process of negotiating with the Secret Service, with lawyers, with White House staff ... to figure out how can I get information from outside of the 10 or 12 people who surround my office in the White House. Because one of the worst things I think that can happen to a president is losing touch with the struggles that people are going through every day."
- Lindsay
from Bookmarklet
President Obama is giving straight "moose-knuckle" to the guy sitting off to his right.hahaha..awesome.
- Terence
The problem is not that he cant use it - it is that he wants to use it without the messages being part of the permanent archives. He is free to use anythign he wants, he just has to be ont he record :)
- Soulhuntre
from twhirl
Not exactly. There is a whole security as in national security element also ;)
- Michael W. May
So, theoretically, he couldn't send an encrypted message to someone who knew the key? Would the decrypted message have to be on record or the encrypted one? Seems like there should be a way for him to have SOME private communication... maybe a limited number of messages a day or only during a certain time a day. He is a human being too and deserves at least a bit of privacy.
- Lindsay
So, in reading The Presidential Records Act of 1978, there's no provision about electronic communications, obvs, other than that they need to be recorded. I'm assuming the question is around security because there's no way to get around the concept of Presidential and Personal records -- the archivist gets them all. Confidentiality of national secrets and the presumption of confidentiality for anyone who does business at the pleasure of the President must be the primary concern of the Secret Service.
- Jason Toney
Also, in the act is a requirement that every effort be made to separate personal records from presidential ones. The blackberry complicates that a bit doesn't it?
- Jason Toney
Where did this come from, Zee? who took it?
- anna sauce
ACK! Two of my least favorite critters in one photo. No thanks!!! Hiding!!
- Lindsay
***amendment***no idea Anna, found via digg - but looking at the comments...it looks like i'm wrong, the snake was already dead. Sneaky bastards... :P
- Zee.
I didn't see the link to Digg, just the site
- anna sauce
no no, i didn't imply that you had...i just meant looking through the comments on digg - thats what i discovered. Here's the digg link if ur interested: http://digg.com/pets_an...
- Zee.
Ok, sorry, Zee, but I'm hiding this one....freakin' me out each time I scroll down and see it. :::shivers:::
- Katie: Whelmed Overly
My uncle was bitten by a Brown Recluse... alot smaller and less flashy, but packs a poisonous punch.
- Richard ¿digame? Walker
Wow, I haven' t hidden this one, yet. You guys may be curing me. Those of you who are frightened of clowns might try looking at pictures of clowns preparing their meals!
- MiniMage TKDteacher of FF
Hi There!! I am trying to catch up. I see that we had quite a few participants and that a User Room was created too. Do I have to repost this in the user room now as well?
- Carlos Ayala
Steve, I'm already in bed...should have been sleeping hours ago, since I have to be up at 4-ish. :( I'll figure out how to take one tomorrow, if everyone isn't over it by then.
- Corie
Instructions: Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. Post these instructions with the picture.
- Jennifer Leggio
Hi Ron! (Oh wait, it's not a pic for the meme right?) :p
- directeur
from NoiseRiver
The first dude is at work, wonder what would happen if his boss barged in. haha :D
- Ron
Shiver me timbers! Who plundered me photograph an' put it here? If ye did it and I find ye, ye'll be dancin' with Jack Ketch ye will.
- Capn' One Eye - adrift
sailor moon? more like sailor FAIL. and what did that boy to do poor Lion-O? WRONG.
- Captain Bubbles
“Instructions: Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. Post these instructions with the picture.”
hi vox...i totally assumed you were an asian dude. don't get upset though, for some reason a lot of people think i'm an asian dude too.
- Captain Bubbles
“Instructions: Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. Post these instructions with the picture. #photomeme”
- Russellreno
hehe, looks like Rah got the shirtless meme going around too!!
- Lindsay
Instructions: Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. Post these instructions with the picture
- Gordon Swaby
Yes, I had to brush my hair and put on a little makeup, but honestly, people, I don't leave the house otherwise and I'm not going to take a picture of myself disheveled unless I'm also wearing a gi and throwing someone around a mat.
- Lindsay
from Bookmarklet
yep - i've been getting actually plenty of sleep - my wife's been the one to get up to feed - but that'll be changing in October when she goes back to work...
- Nathan Chase
Centuries from now, they will still talk about how the revolution was started with one extremely intelligent (and cheeky) act of defiance...
- J. Abdul-Qahhar
mjc: But the check says e^iPi (unlike the text in the picture), which was probably the intent...to write a worthless 0.2 cent check :-)
- Mitchell Tsai
Now that I think about it, how funny would it be to write a campaign contribution check to a candidate you don't like similar to this.
- Kevin Bondelli
the kid here looks like a productivity expert and an optimist - not many kids like breestfeeding, right?!! imagine what heights he will get to when h grows up :)
- Hayk H.