This is always the advice I give, too. Happy people attract other happy people. - Ayşe E.

Make friends assumes the people you discover in your 'niche' will like you. - Mo Kargas

However, I strongly recommend flirting. - Glen Mistletoe

I just went with the asexual route but I guess that works also. Add: I don't have to worry about any nagging or having to please someone else. - Jimminy

Deja vu? O_o - Derrick

Well, chances are there's at least one person out there who likes your hobbies that thinks you are OK, regardless of your personal foibles. - Alex Scoble

Hehe, Derrick, we did not just have the same conversation..."these are not the droids you are looking for" - Alex Scoble

most (but not all) of the other musicians i know are miserable, anti-social, back-stabbing jerks who i trust about as far as i can comfortably spit out a week-dead rat. - Joe Silence is not dead

"Hi, I'm gay. Oh, you're gay too? Do you want to be gay together?" - Derrick

Ha, Derrick! - Ayşe E.

But Dead, that's not your hobby...That's what you do for a living...I said hobbies. :) - Alex Scoble

My problem is I get stuck as the "good friend". - Shawn aka ringking

One of my gf's joined a coed hockey team and that's how she met her husband. I prolly like spending too much time alone and get in my own way. - Gabrielle V

how about joining a group that doesn't do the same thing? - adam garrett

LOL, Adam, that's up to you on what to join. Just try to be a bit zen about it. Love comes looking for your if you aren't looking too hard for it. - Alex Scoble

Thanks Alex. It hasn't been suggested that I be zen about anything in quite a while. I try not to be Johnny Lee. (Lookin' for Love) - adam garrett

This works if your hobby isn't typically antisocial, such as computer gaming... - Philip Evans from twhirl

Heh, yeah, you've got to actually get out there and meet people to meet someone special. They are MOST LIKELY not going to come knocking on your door. That's a little too zen. - Alex Scoble from IM

@Alex: music is also a hobby, it's the OTHER consuming passion in my life. thankfully, i've not been single in a long time. - Joe Silence is not dead

I don't live life expecting to meet someone. When I do, I do - not too worried about being coupled or single...but that's me. I just need the internet ;) - Mona Nomura

It’s funny you should bring this up right now. I don't know where to start, except to say that the last three days have been interesting. Three days ago, I received a request on Facebook to add a girl I haven't seen or heard from in years. I was apprehensive at first, because she was a close friend with my ex. Against my better judgment; I decided to add her, in the hopes my ex had nothing to do with it. To my relief I learned she wasn’t involved, and the next thing I know, we are talking for hours on the phone and getting along quite well. I always thought she was attractive, but I never thought of getting together with her. While getting reacquainted, she tells me that she always liked me but my ex was in her way. Unfortunately, it turns out that they are extremely similar to one another, which is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. So, after three days of talking with her I’ve come to the realization that I would rather be single than be in a bad relationship or one that I know isn’t going anywhere. I think most good relationships form naturally, and there’s not much one can do about it. Your advice is excellent Alex, and it’s basically what I’ve been doing lately. I’m in no hurry, even though I would love to be in a good relationship. I’m happy at the moment. And as far as I’m concerned it’s all that really matters. - Michael Fidler

Sorry, but you lost me at needy...what's wrong with that? :) - Alex Scoble from IM

There's a good kind, or healthy kind of need, and another type which requires constant attention. They can never be alone. It's gets to the point of being obsessive. I hope you understand the difference. She has to be in a relationship or she isn't happy. I think you have to be happy with yourself as an individual first, if your ever going to add something to a relationship. - Michael Fidler

Great, great advice. Srsly. - Shey, Jamaican of FF

Excellent advice. I use my camera to meet people and share common experiences. If I had a puppy I would be Golden. - Russellreno

I think this is good advice, but not because I think people will actually find "the one" this way. It is good because putting yourself out there to meet new ppl or try new things tends to result in being a happy, self sufficient person and thus an attractive candidate for partnership. - Sarah Miller from iPhone

I thought that you were supposed to put a ring on it. Hm. - Wirehead

I was sure you were going to give the advice not to get married. ;) - Cristo

I'm wanting to respond, but cautious, because not that long ago I was what I'd probably have termed "involuntarily single." And I'm trying to think of what I can say that wouldn't annoy 3-or-4-years-ago me. For me, the key was being myself, ACCEPTING myself, and accepting that I *could* live a perfectly happy life as a single man if I didn't find the right person. And I know that last acceptance is the most difficult, but I think it's the most important, too, IMO. - Scott of Two Countries

Scott, I agree after having someone that I spent nearly a quarter of my life with pulled away from me it was hard, but I finally decide I'm fine by myself if that happens. - Jimminy

I believe it's very important to be good with being by yourself first. Knowing you don't 'need' someone around to have a good life. Makes it easier to recognize when you've made a mistake and jumped a little too soon. :) And makes it easier to see the good ones when they do finally come along. Be good with yourself, then you can be good together. Then the mutual interests come into play nicely. - Bette Cooper

++ Scott, Jimminy, Bette. Exactly what I wanted to say. - Sarah Miller from iPhone

My husband and I don't have much in terms of shared interests or hobbies, although we do have shared values and goals. We were both happy with ourselves first (before we met). I found a dating website helpful because it made it clear we were on a date when we met up. There was none of this "does he like me, or does he just like the same things I do?" ambiguity. - Clare Dibble

Interesting advice :) - LANjackal

I met every woman I had a romantic interest in this way. "Dating" / the "singles scene" sucks. - Trent Hamm

Neither dates nor friendships have worked for me since high school. All the relationships I've had since have resulted from hookups. Including the girl I'm currently seeing. Sad but true. - LANjackal from IM

Good advice, and I'd add that if you want a relationship but can't find anyone worthy who's into you (and you did put forth effort) it's probably because you need to work on yourself first. It's unreasonable to expect a non-crazy person to want you if you don't have it together yourself. And you bet I learned this the hard way, getting into a string of disasters because I couldn't face being alone and working on my own issues. I highly recommend not following that path - ultimately I was still forced to confront my shortcomings due to endless relationship crises, but it's a lot more painful and complicated than working alone or with a qualified counselor. - Lo

Funny, a female friend and I were having a conversation about that same issue last night: serial dating vs. developing yourself/self-improvement - LANjackal from IM

Any advice for the married? - Valley

Do whatever it takes to stay that way. :) Divorce is expensive. - Alex Scoble from IM

Exactly...it should happen organically. - Alex Scoble from IM

Good advice, organic has worked for me. But I know several couples who met via personal ads/internet dating, including a couple whose wedding I officiated. I think there's nothing desperate or wrong to go that route. - Maria Niles

I agree. Nothing wrong about specifically looking for a relationship. However I do have a problem with the practice of swinging from relationship to relationship as some people do - LANjackal from IM

Yeah, I don't think you should cut yourself off from online dating venues because you never know where that special someone will come from, but I do think that meeting people doing what you like to do is a much better way. - Alex Scoble from IM

One of my hobbies is drinking beer. I meet lots of interesting people at the pub. - Nick B.

+1. I meet 98% of the girls I know from bars and clubs too. I'm often criticized for this and told that I'll never meet a decent girl that way, but I love going out and partying and I'm not the outdoors, artsy, library, book club, gym or playing sports (the usual suggestions I get) type. Partying (NOT getting trashed, I'm rarely wasted) is just what I do for fun and I love it. Whoever I get with is just gonna have to be OK with that or we'll never work - LANjackal from IM

Alex: good advice. Divorce is expensive. :) - Valley

What if ur interest/hobby is FF? - MicahBear78

Then do friendfeed get togethers in your area. - Alex Scoble from IM

I think you're referring to all of us in that statement, lol I deliberately shut my laptop lid when the current girl's around unless I'm queueing up some music - LANjackal from IM

Some of us are perfectly happy on our own, of course. - Slappy Line

My hobby is using Friendfeed. And I have 500+ friends there. So it shouldn't be long before those friendships lead to romantic relationships, right? - Brome

I've always found this kinda odd. Women are everywhere; the supermarket, Starbucks, church, Twitter, school, etc. The same goes for my women friends who complain about how hard it is to meet a great guy. Just look around you. - Mark Davidson from BuddyFeed

You got me thinking Mark. http://ff.im/609bm - Christopher Harley

You're right ! I think I have a kind of romance on blip.fm :-) - lotre demedeu

You can also get lucky online. I met my man through Plenty of Fish. We've been together for almost a year and a half now. Helps that we have some interests in common. We just clicked immediately, like we'd known each other for years. - Kamilah Gill

According to TV adverts in the UK: "2% of Americans who married in the last year met using eHarmony" - Slappy Line

That's bizarre Slippy, of course their contribution to the divorce rate should be included for the number to have meaning. Surprised that's not in the ad too... - Lo