Jacob Martinez - FriendFeed

The only thing you should ever be afraid of is other people.

17 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I'm working all day tomorrow and it's going to suck.

17 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Why save my money for the future when I can buy an ice cream every day in the present?

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Richard Nixon had the best resignation letter of all time. I've made it a template for my own two-weeks notices.

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

@paigelikeapage I thought I've been talking to a semi-famous christian pop singer/cancer survivor this whole time. Oh well.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

@paigelikeapage Are you sure that isn't you?

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Things the pretender pretended to be in the fourth episode of The Pretender (in order) - http://tumbl.me/post/235555398

Friday from Tumblr - Comment - Like - Share

They call me Neanderthalensis because we're so similar it's outrageous! Damn, I'm on a roll.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

My tombstone will also have perfect hair.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Jacob hasn't eaten for a thousand years.

Friday from Facebook - Comment - Like - Share

I buy all my products from http://www.skullsunlimited.com ! My preferred skull importer.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Homo - http://tumbl.me/post/235507994

Friday from Tumblr - Comment - Like - Share

Astralopithecus was one ugly genus, amirite? Where my Homo sapiens at?

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

They call me Climate Control 'cause I'm cool year-round.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Interesting fact, all the real human skulls you can buy online are from chinese people. Because China has no human rights.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

They call me Bacchus 'cause the frenzy I induce is something that rhymes with bacchus.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

People know I'm nerdy because I constantly exclaim how nerdy I am at every occasion and in every medium.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Holy smokes, the last episode of Flashforward was intense.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Jacob is at your funeral.

Friday from Facebook - Comment - Like - Share

How to play piano like Philip Glass - http://www.youtube.com/watch...

Friday from YouTube favorites - Comment - Like - Share

Working late today, til 2pm.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I can't believe how handsome I am sometimes.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

When I went into the room, I told the man that a lady would like to see him, to which he simply answered, ‘Why?’ - http://tumbl.me/post/234364154

Thursday from Tumblr - Comment - Like - Share

[THIS STATUS INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK].

Thursday from Facebook - Comment - Like - Share

This is a trick question; find me a person that is alone but not on their phone. - http://tumbl.me/post/234113241

Thursday from Tumblr - Comment - Like - Share

This is a trick question; find me a person that is alone but not on their phone. - http://tumbl.me/post/234113311