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Rejoined gym and managed to swim 50 lengths. Loving the half-sized pool.
Check out freak onion, pictured with pack of Marlboro for scale. My brother gave me this. He has six more. http://twitter.com/jamesma...
After spending 5 hours driving 200 miles through blizzards, fog and crashed cars, it feels great to finally unclench my arse.
Great show at Reading Hexagon Theatre tonight. Now looking forward to 200 mile drive back home in the snow. #glamourofshowbiz
... that moment when you realise the majestic full moon you have been humbled by is actually a round, white sticker on the window...
Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
Eek! Just mailed a girl to say 'I hope you had a great Xmas/New Year period'. It reads 'I hope you had a great Xmas/New Year/period'.
Joe Black Sings Elliot Mason - http://www.youtube.com/watch...
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Have decided to get a car for my fiancée. In my opinion, this is a fair swap.
Have decided to create a dating site for single socks.
Dosing up on Night Nurse and going out for dinner is a surreal, kafkaesque experience. #outofbody #hallucinatorycottagecheese
Making jokes about Gary Glitter being on Twitter is far too easy. Its like taking randy from a baby.
The reason Gary Glitter has opened a Twitter account is so he can resume offering tweets to the kiddies.
Hard to believe it's 25 years since one of my eyeballs was accidentally tongued in Kenya by a baby giraffe called Daisy Rothschild.
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