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Jere Keys
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I need a dog or a boyfriend to cuddle with when I get mildly sick.
March 1
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Ugh. This guy on
#TheCycle
is for real? Like, we're letting someone pretend exorcism is a real thing on a cable news show?
March 1
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RT @
Jesus_M_Christ
: No pope means the Church can't punish you for any sins you commit. Go crazy!
February 28
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Cutting out of work and going to happy hour would be the height of irresponsibility, right?
February 27
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Did K Cheno just sing a Tom Cruise is short joke at someone? Really, 4'11"?
February 24
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I haven't enjoyed a Tarantino flick since Pulp Fiction, but I understand that I am decidedly not his target audience.
February 24
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Does Quentin Tarantino ever not sound like he just sniffed a line of coke off a stripper's ass?
February 24
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Norah Jones! Do you think Beyonce is at home seething about a missed opportunity to show up all the ladies at the Oscars?
February 24
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The Oscars just keep rolling out the Divas with Queen Latifa, Ms. Zeta-Jones, Ms. Zellweger and Madame Gere.
February 24
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Fuck. Sexist and racist in the same joke? Come on, Seth, making fun of her accent is just lazy comedy.
February 24
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Fuck. Sexist and racist in the same joke? Come on, Seth, making fun of Cruz's accent is just lazy comedy.
February 24
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Awards nights and political events when I get tweet happy usually means a drop of 5-10 followers. lol
#4downtonight
February 24
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She should thank Batman. That would be cool.
February 24
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Okay, but when does Beyonce sing? (Doesn't she have to sing at every major televised event now?)
February 24
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World, witness the the place where Samantha Barks' stomach out to be.
#SoSkinny
February 24
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The Oscars are all like, follow that Tony Awards!
February 24
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Now bring out Julie Andrews for The Sound of Music (Best Picture 1965)!
February 24
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I can't tell who the Oscars are trying to appeal to this year. Serious film watchers, horny 14-year-old boys, or the nostalgic elderly?
February 24
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I bet they would have time for acceptance speeches if Seth McFarlane hadn't done a 20 minute opening.
February 24
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KCheno and Queen Latifa standing side-by-side... Cheno is like the size of one of QL's tits.
February 24
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I just saw a large woman running down the street with a bucket of KFC in Harlem. I did not yell "run, Precious, run!"
February 22
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This day needs more vodka, please.
February 22
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I just need a job working for LGBT rights that doesn't involve me standing on a corner with a clipboard soliciting HRC donations.
February 21
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And when I confronted her, she copped an attitude like I was the one being unreasonable because she gave me one of her trash bags.
#MURDER
February 18
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And she hogging the dryers in a way that takes twice as long - constantly opening the doors and checking what's going on.
#HATE
February 18
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This woman in my building took all my wet clothes out of the washer and stuck them in garbage bags. Now she's hogging the dryers.
#KILL
February 18
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Why is it news that Obama golfed w/ Tiger Woods? He's met several Republican Congressmen, he knows a thing or 2 about shameless adulterers.
February 17
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RT @
_FloridaMan
: Florida Man Mistakes Girlfriend For Hog, Shoots Her |
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs...
February 13
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The underlying theme of Obama's speech has been urging Congress to do its fucking job on governing the country.
#SOTU
February 12
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Obama hasn't once mentioned forcing rape victims to have their rapists' babies. Oh, that's right, he's not actually a Republican.
#SOTU
February 12
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