“Blame Reagan for making me into a monster; blame Oliver North and Iran Contra; I ran contra band that they sponsored; before this rhyming stuff, we was in concert.”
Thursday at 11:05 pm
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“Also who the hell wants to go across state lines to get medical care? I'm not driving to Nevada to see a doctor.”
Tuesday at 6:55 pm
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October 7 at 7:10 am
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October 5 at 2:20 pm
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October 5 at 2:53 pm
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October 5 at 3:12 pm
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October 5 at 2:16 pm
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“Thanks for the invite, Matt. Let the drinking games begin!”
October 2 at 1:54 pm
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“For our anniversary, I bought my wife flowers and she bought me a head”
September 11 at 5:02 pm
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September 1 at 6:07 pm
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August 31 at 11:55 pm
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“Thanks to FF, I now want a cinammon bun, cupcakes, and to TALK LIKE THIS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.”
August 31 at 8:18 pm
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“Time to go scare my husband in the shower.”
August 31 at 7:25 pm
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“In case I haven't said this yet, I am very much looking forward to the next 10 weeks. Every day will be filled with hilarious Countdown, Daily Show, Colbert, and Real Time (welcome back, Bill).”
August 31 at 1:58 pm
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“If someone had warned me that when told, 'We have to go to the fabric store this weekend,' I would have to answer, 'Okay', I never would've gotten married.”
August 31 at 10:14 am
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