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How do we know Mitt Romney didn't strap his infant child to the roof of his car, and then hose down black civil rights protesters in Selma?
Nothing makes a man feel more like a man than a thorough nasal douching, twice a day. #sinushealth
East Dallas either under artillery barrage, or Valentines Day another convenient excuse for a fireworks show.
From Funny or Die, here's my Valentine's Day murder ballad, "True Love". http://www.funnyordie.com/videos...
Did anyone watch Jeremy Lin play summer league ball for Dallas in 2010? The talent and skill level were obvious. http://sports.espn.go.com/dallas...
Whitney Houston: I still can't believe the voice that knifed through my brain like a dentist's drill has been silenced forever.
People are always deleting my Facebook comments. I wonder, is it the profanity they object to, or the derisive sarcasm?
I wonder if Fox News commenters would have been so racist if it had been WHITEY Houston who died, instead of Whitney. http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article...
Don't you have capitalism in your country, Jorge? @hoopshype wonder if it wouldn't be better to pass on some money to avoid "overpaid" tag.
Why can't every movie with Robert Forster in it just be about Robert Forster? #thedescendants
When the ME dissects Whitney Houston's withered corpse, perhaps he can determine the mysterious source of her amazing vocal talent!
Take heart, fake-grieving America. Whitney Houston will forever live on in the tortured vocal gymnastics of American Idol contestants.
Jeb Bush back in play for GOP nomination. After Bush 1, Bush 2 and Obama, he'll be Bush 4. http://harndenblog.dailymail.co.uk/2012... #bush3
All of us with our mean jokes are guilty of Whitney Houston's death. Why couldn't we leave her to shoot up in peace? http://uservideos.smashits.com/video...
Great debut @DFWShow tonight with @markramsey and producers @blujconcepts and @Clay_Harrison. Audio and video links to follow! #podcast
I don't want to see your tuba on a milk carton, is all. @tubatron not enough apparently! #tubaraid
At long last, can't we just leave the Catholics alone to blame the Jews for killing Christ in peace? #contraception
Is that what you meant to say? @hiuhime If you don't cynically take advantage of @markramsey to promote your shit, then we can't be friends.
Obama: "They made me a whore. Now give me some of that oligarch dick!" http://www.businessinsider.com/the-sad... #superpac
Obama tramples Constitution with #ndaa, cops bust up #ows events, but @maddow's top issue: a parade for war vets. Talk about "tone-deaf."
Why does @hardball_chris even bother to have guests? He can't even talk without interrupting himself! #msnbc #chrismatthews
Reverse home mortgage vultures are back on TV. The housing market must be looking up! (Fuck you, Henry Winkler.)
If you don't want to get shot, don't hang around a DART station. @wfaachannel8 Bystander says he was shot by DART police officer.
If that's Eastern Iowa, then where are the children selling jewelry and packs of gum? @DannyBMFFL Eastern Iowa Airport http://twitter.com/DannyBM...
RT @markramsey: Join me Friday night at 8PM CST on my new show @DFWShow with special guest @kturet and @Clay_Harrison with me on the mic.
Caring level update: Mine now improved to 115 percent of America, while heartless Rick Santorum still stuck at 100 percent. #careinflation
Fuck you, Rick Santorum. You only care about 100 percent of America. I care about 110 percent of America!
Rick Santorum rising in the polls. Dare we anticipate our first closeted gay president? What a proud moment that would be.
Encountered protesters faced off with police this morning outside @raceforthecure HQ in North Dallas. An hour later, they were gone. #komen
Everyone knew Clint Eastwood was a dirty communist at heart. That anti-American Super Bowl ad just confirmed it.
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