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Ken Turetzky
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About 3 posts per day
How do we know Mitt Romney didn't strap his infant child to the roof of his car, and then hose down black civil rights protesters in Selma?
7 hours ago
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Nothing makes a man feel more like a man than a thorough nasal douching, twice a day.
#sinushealth
8 hours ago
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East Dallas either under artillery barrage, or Valentines Day another convenient excuse for a fireworks show.
22 hours ago
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From Funny or Die, here's my Valentine's Day murder ballad, "True Love".
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos...
yesterday
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Did anyone watch Jeremy Lin play summer league ball for Dallas in 2010? The talent and skill level were obvious.
http://sports.espn.go.com/dallas...
yesterday
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Whitney Houston: I still can't believe the voice that knifed through my brain like a dentist's drill has been silenced forever.
Monday
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People are always deleting my Facebook comments. I wonder, is it the profanity they object to, or the derisive sarcasm?
Monday
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I wonder if Fox News commenters would have been so racist if it had been WHITEY Houston who died, instead of Whitney.
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article...
Sunday
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Don't you have capitalism in your country, Jorge? @
hoopshype
wonder if it wouldn't be better to pass on some money to avoid "overpaid" tag.
Sunday
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Why can't every movie with Robert Forster in it just be about Robert Forster?
#thedescendants
Sunday
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When the ME dissects Whitney Houston's withered corpse, perhaps he can determine the mysterious source of her amazing vocal talent!
Sunday
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Take heart, fake-grieving America. Whitney Houston will forever live on in the tortured vocal gymnastics of American Idol contestants.
Sunday
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Jeb Bush back in play for GOP nomination. After Bush 1, Bush 2 and Obama, he'll be Bush 4.
http://harndenblog.dailymail.co.uk/2012...
#bush3
Saturday
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All of us with our mean jokes are guilty of Whitney Houston's death. Why couldn't we leave her to shoot up in peace?
http://uservideos.smashits.com/video...
Saturday
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Great debut @
DFWShow
tonight with @
markramsey
and producers @
blujconcepts
and @
Clay_Harrison
. Audio and video links to follow!
#podcast
Friday
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I don't want to see your tuba on a milk carton, is all. @
tubatron
not enough apparently!
#tubaraid
February 10
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At long last, can't we just leave the Catholics alone to blame the Jews for killing Christ in peace?
#contraception
February 10
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Is that what you meant to say? @
hiuhime
If you don't cynically take advantage of @
markramsey
to promote your shit, then we can't be friends.
February 10
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Obama: "They made me a whore. Now give me some of that oligarch dick!"
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-sad...
#superpac
February 9
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Obama tramples Constitution with
#ndaa
, cops bust up
#ows
events, but @
maddow
's top issue: a parade for war vets. Talk about "tone-deaf."
February 8
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Why does @
hardball_chris
even bother to have guests? He can't even talk without interrupting himself!
#msnbc
#chrismatthews
February 8
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Reverse home mortgage vultures are back on TV. The housing market must be looking up! (Fuck you, Henry Winkler.)
February 8
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If you don't want to get shot, don't hang around a DART station. @
wfaachannel8
Bystander says he was shot by DART police officer.
February 8
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If that's Eastern Iowa, then where are the children selling jewelry and packs of gum? @
DannyBMFFL
Eastern Iowa Airport
http://twitter.com/DannyBM...
February 8
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RT @
markramsey
: Join me Friday night at 8PM CST on my new show @
DFWShow
with special guest @
kturet
and @
Clay_Harrison
with me on the mic.
February 8
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Caring level update: Mine now improved to 115 percent of America, while heartless Rick Santorum still stuck at 100 percent.
#careinflation
February 8
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Fuck you, Rick Santorum. You only care about 100 percent of America. I care about 110 percent of America!
February 7
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Rick Santorum rising in the polls. Dare we anticipate our first closeted gay president? What a proud moment that would be.
February 7
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Encountered protesters faced off with police this morning outside @
raceforthecure
HQ in North Dallas. An hour later, they were gone.
#komen
February 7
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Everyone knew Clint Eastwood was a dirty communist at heart. That anti-American Super Bowl ad just confirmed it.
February 7
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Best of week from Ken Turetzky
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