Kelly - Likes - FriendFeed

after 2, so twice. :) - Zee.

After one time, they think you are nagging, but it takes you asking 100 times, for them to actually do it. Sigh - Shevonne

0 - Asking once is enough for me to remember. Reminders are not necessary. :) - Chris Luckhardt

agreed with Zee - Shey, Jamaican of FF

1, maybe 2. Depends on tone. - matthew john ernisse

So if you ask twice (spread across three days) it means he doesn't want to do it. - Mona Nomura from IM

No comments, if it is trash, recycling, vacuuming, and it is in my way, I get the hint. Otherwise, not going to happen. It is more being obvious than anything else. - Dan Morrill AKA Techwag

@mona or you are asking wrong. - matthew john ernisse

The second time is nagging. Sometimes even the first, depending on the tone and the nature of the inquiry. - LogEx

I'm with LE - it's not the number of times, but how it's asked. The wrong tone of voice or timing and the first one is a nag. Otherwise you can remind 10 times if it's not getting done and the reminding is done nicely. - Sparky

Depends if I want to do it or not. :D - Moved to Facebook from fftogo

You're going to have to ask 2 more times before I get around to answering. - Russell Holliman

2 times. - Helen Sventitsky

i think this sums it up. http://www.blogcdn.com/www... - Alfredo

Depends: (1) When you asked the first time were you "asking" or "telling?" (2) When you asked the first time, did he said yes? (3) Are you asking a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. time because you truly think he forgot, or he's just not doing it fast enough for you? The reminding vs nagging distinction is whether or not you're being passive aggressive. - Ken Sheppardson

Friday: So I asked once: "Will you help me with this?" Him: "I'd love to help!" Saturday: "Will you set aside time tomorrow (Sunday) because I need it by Monday?" Him: "Yes of course" Sunday: "Let me know when you want to go over the thing I need to have by tomorrow... " Him "ok will have to be a bit later. way way way behind today" ...then nothing. So I didn't ask again. - Mona Nomura

That's not nagging. - Ken Sheppardson

context matters. based on the dialogue it doesn't seem like the perp really wanted to help. might be the task; could be his interest level in you; or it very well could be that he was backlogged unexpectedly. it depends. - grant fox

Should I have asked again? - Mona Nomura

Yes. I might have gone with "Do you still think you'll be able to help me with this, or should I make other arrangements?" - Ken Sheppardson

I felt like I was already bugging him. He's a strategist and works 7 days a week... I needed strategy help. He said ok but maybe he really didn't want to help? Ugh. Why can't people say what they mean and mean what they say. Then I wouldn't have to go through this headache. - Mona Nomura

Sometimes lifes a whole lot easier when you just pretend/accept people mean what they say. Sometimes "I'd like to help, but I'm really, really busy" means "I'd like to help, but I'm really, really busy." :-) - Ken Sheppardson

he probably intended to help because he wanted to, but realized he spoke out of turn and couldn't help you without jeopardizing his other priorities. so the intention was solid, the execution not so much. - grant fox

Yeah, if I had a nickle for every time I offered to help with something because I really wanted to do it, without realizing I'd never, ever be able to get to it, I'd have a lot of nickles. - Ken Sheppardson

you and me both, brother. - grant fox

That is so stupid. All he had to say was: "I am swamped." And I would've asked someone else. See, that's why I hesitate to ask for help. AND he didn't even take the time to say: "I got tied up." I don't think I like him anymore. - Mona Nomura

well don't let what i said color your judgement! i'm at arms length and don't know the whole story. - grant fox

I think it shows what kind of guy he is: full of shit! - Mona Nomura

Yep, I didn't want to say it - Shevonne

Wow. Nice leap. - Ken Sheppardson

Well I asked once, reminded twice, if I asked one more time it would've been nagging, right? He's not my bf, but we are dating and it's still the courting phase. So if he really likes me, he should've at least had the courtesy to acknowledge that he got caught up. - Mona Nomura

let me just *tiptoe* out of this conversation before i get my man pass revoked - grant fox

It might just be he is not an organized person and doesn't remember things. However, you have to realize this might be the case and figure out if you can deal with that. - Shevonne

I wouldn't say he's full of shit, maybe he's not the best at prioritisation and time management. Context switches can be hard, and if you're already overwhelmed then it's really easy to blow stack and lose stuff. - matthew john ernisse

Hmmmm - viki saigal

Hmmmm what viki? Anyway, now that I know did it 'right' (asked once, nudged twice or it would've been nagging) I know the answer to my question. Thanks guys! - Mona Nomura

once - Erin @queenofspain

Once? Jeez. Even if it's not something like: take out the trash, but I need your smarts to help me out? - Mona Nomura

Yeah, once :) - Roberto Bonini

Mona, I think I could give a good answer to your question, but it will have to be a bit later. Ping me in a couple days if I haven't answered. - Bruce Lewis from fftogo

Hahahhaha! That's EXACTLY what started this fiasco, Bruce LOL - Mona Nomura

3. 1st time, didn't hear it. 2nd time, heard it, but didn't register. 3rd time, heard it, but might not care yet. - Rodfather

Is it different via IM and person? - Mona Nomura

Not for me, but I hardly consider myself the grand deciderer. - matthew john ernisse

This is a horrendously complicated field and one best avoided at all costs. If you've reminded them twice and they haven't acted, they probably aren't going to. :-) - Slappy Line

It's more the tone the number of times. There's a nagging voice that only takes once. Use a normal voice. Or try a whisper which makes it less of a command. Try changing the words so it's not a command and not an implication failure. Like "the garbage needs taking out" and a normally enbrained male will work out the implications on their own. - Todd Hoff

This was over IM, he's in CA. In person, he treats me really well but that's because he's still courting. - Mona Nomura

Is he going to see this whole conversation? That will probably get his ass in gear - Benjamin Golub

No - the man isn't even on Twitter and he is the worst Facebooker ever. - Mona Nomura

"Courting"? How quaint. ;-) - Brian Sullivan

That's the only way I can put it! "The beginning stages" sounds kinda dumb (to me). Oh and Slippy: I agree with that. I rarely ask twice but since he said "Anything, just ask!" and "Of course!" (with exclamation points), I just assumed he wanted to help, mainly because he digs me. - Mona Nomura

Unless he contacts you with a profuse apology real soon now, he's not still courting. - Bruce Lewis from fftogo

Right - so now the question is: Do I accept his apology and cut him off or accept his apology and move on. (I'm asking myself this) - Mona Nomura from IM

It's all in the delivery. - Andru Edwards

ask me again later. (har har) - mikepk

0 - Varun Mahajan

Go do something fun today and decide tomorrow after you've had time to cool down. - Bruce Lewis from fftogo

Oh I already know the answer. :) - Mona Nomura

I know you already know the answer. But re-decide tomorrow just because it's kind of a big decision. You'll probably feel the same, but it's good to be sure. - Bruce Lewis from fftogo

this sounds like a story ..windows 7 RC 1 meets redhat 5.01 kernel ..requesting to install driver.. endless loop syndrome:)- - Peter Dawson

3 - Wayne Sutton

At least once more, Ms. Nomura. - Parth Awasthi

Ask me all you want, but after 2 times you're officially placed on mute. - Joshua Schnell

Hahahhahahha! - Mona Nomura

Mona: Ask you ask us 2 or more times...we will wait 30 minutes just to prove that we will do it in our own time ;) - Nicholas James

Hahhahahha! I am so tempted to delete this thread so it won't keep floating up and annoying everyone lollll! - Mona Nomura

What does "he's still counting" mean? - Cristo

There is a negative correlation between the number of requests necessary and the level of my potential enjoyment brought about by the completion of said task. For instance it requires 1 request of the "Would you like to come inside for "coffee"" nature while it is extremely likely that we will venture deeply into the realm of nagging for something like "Take the garbage out ya bum" - Geoff Schultz

Oh, the context is in the thread, but it was a request that was related to his profession, asked three times over three days via IM. In person, I never have problems since I am nice and polite (plus I know how to choose my words ;) ha) - Mona Nomura

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