DJ 【ツ】

What is invisable and smells like carrots? ....................................Rabbit farts.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours...

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. ~Erma Bombeck

"The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion." ~ Arnold Glasow

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman...

Does it bother anyone else that the last thing you see before boarding a plane is, Terminal?

The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population...

U know if you drink too much coffee if your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.

If you create something idiot proof, they will make a new & improved idiot...

I was born weird--this terrible compulsion to behave normally is the result of childhood trauma...

There's nothing better in life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear playing a tuba... No, I don't want to go to Therapy...

I guess we were all guilty. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I killed Bob".

Barbie doesn't come with Ken, she comes with GI Joe--she fakes it with Ken...

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the better defense...

Beware! The teddy bears of today still carry the vestigial claws of their ancestors...

I didn't do it... I don't care what the video evidence says... #humor #lol #makesmesmile #fun

The human spirit is a hard thing to kill, even with a chain saw... #comedy #fb #sarcasm #lol

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present...