I'm in agreement with you there - makes no sense why they shouldn't be able to get married legally. - Jesse Stay

Jesse, in this case, it was legal. But, who knows for how long? - Louis Gray

Louis: interesting that your opinion here is opposite what your church teaches. - Robert Scoble

Robert, it's a difficult topic, and I haven't said anything about how I'll end up voting. But my two best friends from high school both came out when I was in college, and have been in very stable relationships. The marriage I attended tonight was between my mother's best friend of 40 years or so and her partner. I absolutely support her being happy, and that's my job. As with many things in religion, it can be hard to reconcile what you feel and what you don't understand fully. - Louis Gray

Not clear about genders in post...clarify? Otherwise, Robert may have a point. - Josh Haley

(Cont.) I do wish there were a way to have a full knowledge and understanding of why people are wired differently, and why it's perceived that their choices will impact others. If I were running the campaign in favor of Prop 8, I wouldn't do it the way it's being done. - Louis Gray

To me I wish society would make a difference between cultural marriage which is done in a church or some other cultural institution and the legal rights of marriage. I could see belonging to a church that believes in a certain kind of marriage (for instance, between a man and a woman) but I think the legal rights of marriage should be open to whoever wants them. - Robert Scoble

If only gay marriage was legal throughout the US. I have a family friend who has been with his partner for several years and I they deserve to get the same rights as any married couple. I feel very strongly with this topic, because it hits home. - Mol, Time Warping

Josh: it's pretty clear he's talking about two women getting married. - Robert Scoble

Josh, it was a same-sex marriage outside of Berkeley, and a beautiful ceremony. Regarding the church and Prop 8, we talked about that a bit in Chris Wetherell's feed: http://friendfeed.com/e... - Louis Gray

+1 Robert - Mol, Time Warping

Robert, I agree - there needs to be more distinction between religious and legal marriage. I'm not sure what the answer is, but regardless there needs to be some way to satisfy both sides. I'm torn on the issue - like Louis said, it's something I may never understand, so it's hard to make a decision one way or another. I'm just glad I'm not in CA having to make that decision right now. - Jesse Stay from twhirl

Interesting thread there, and now here. - Josh Haley

For transparency purposes, as I always try to be: One thing the church commonly asks is if you participate in organizations that "run contrary to the teachings of the church." Given their support of Prop 8, I don't have any interest in being the voice against the initiative, and the topic has been much discussed with my wife, parents, etc. But I also haven't done phone banking or donated in favor of it, by any means. Like abortion or other divisive issues, I doubt both sides can ever be truly satisfied. - Louis Gray

Louis: that brings up something else. How can you change an institution's view on something you disagree with if you don't speak up against it? That goes for church. For companies. For governments. I tend to speak up, even when it causes consequences for me personally. - Robert Scoble

Robert, the good news is that this rarely happens, but as you can imagine, I do have open conversations with people I respect when I don't fully understand why things go one way vs. another. Religion typically is much different than governments, as they tend to lean on texts written well before we were born, theoretically by divine hand, which is not exactly a democracy. :-) - Louis Gray

Robert, from an organizational standpoint, I've never taken LDS to be too open to contrary opinions about doctrine, however like Louis here attending a gay marriage, I don't think they're going to go around rubbing anything in his face. - Pete Delucchi

Robert speaks wisely. I shamelessly quote someone I don't remember the name of, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" - Vijayendra (V-Mo) Mohanty

oh yeah, and I think it's great that you not only attended this ceremony Louis, but you've openly and transparently discussed it despite everything. I hope the marriage sticks too, it would be awful if 8 passes. - Pete Delucchi

Pete: I know that getting churches to change how they see things is difficult, but they do change. Louis' church used to believe that it was OK to marry multiple women and it no longer believes that. So, it can change and, will, over time. - Robert Scoble

Pete: ditto. Louis deserves credit there. Not everyone would be so brave. - Robert Scoble

Louis, I wish you much strength with your introspection, and much happiness for the married couple. - Adam Lasnik

I think you'll find that Mormons, as individuals, are some of the most open and tolerant religious people to Gays you'll ever meet. I don't know why the Church as an organization is pushing Prop. 8 (nor do I know much about it being outside CA), but in the meantime we're still taught to love one another, be tolerant of all, and to "hope all things". I imagine the Church itself has to protect itself legally as well, but then again, I don't know much about the Proposition. - Jesse Stay

This thread touches me as well. My Catholic Mother married my Jewish Father and converted. After they divorced religion left our home. My Wife was brought up Mormon and about 2 years ago the two of us started attending a Christian church. I struggle often with religion and this issue is one that fuels my struggle. Thanks for sharing Louis. - Mark Krynsky

@Mark and @Jesse, one thing I've learned over time is that the church leaders are very much right and ahead of the curve on many things - from things as simple as emergency preparedness, to promoting staying out of debt, to giving advice on eating healthy and not taking in alcohol/tobacco, etc. Discussions like this are exponentially harder, and it tests the concept of "faith" to follow where the natural inclination is to argue. And Mark, your wife will tell you Mormons are very much Christian. :-) - Louis Gray

I think in the end, it's all about what makes you the best person you can be. There will always be things that don't make sense, but regardless, it's a good thing if it's made you and your family the best individuals you can become. That's what religion is all about. - Jesse Stay

Nothing more to add to the discussion other than to say I love discussions like these where people can speak to each other as individuals, across the rhetoric of dissenting positions. Bravo, folks. - cecily

Wow 19 years is awesome - congrats to both ladies! - Susan Beebe

Good for you, sir! :-) And to everyone else that is participating so calmly. - Mathew A. Koeneker

Thank you, Louis, for being so real. I really enjoyed this thread. - Heidi Jeffers Thibodeau

I was searching for information on churches for and against proposition 8, and found this tweet (discussing an event to which Louis recently referred). - Ontario Emperor