Keeel Eeet Wis Fyre? - awd

I haven't had to struggle with the first question, thankfully. But when I need to talk to other people who's sense of professional ethics and responsibilities differ from my own I try to approach that conversation by figuring out why they believe what they do. There's nearly always a good reason. And then we can talk about whether that good reason applies in the particular circumstance or not. It's the same when discussing other "hard" topics. People usually don't believe things strongly just on a whim. And talking about the underlying reasons is usually more productive. - lris

More seriously, do what it takes to keep the job while looking for opportunities to discuss the differences to either modify POW stance, learn and grow (thereby perhaps adjusting your stance), and/or look for more closely aligned positions elsewhere? - awd

Also, I think it's closely related to what I was struggling to articulate here (since most of the discussions I've had of this nature have been written, not spoken): http://pegasuslibrarian.com/2009... - lris

I realized in a short amount of time that I was working under the conditions of the first question. I started looking for a new job almost immediately after starting here. It's been 3.5 years. I'm hoping to get out soon. I thought I was experiencing the second question until I found here (LSW). Becoming a librarian was a thought-out, very serious decision on my part. And this job made me question if I had done the right thing. Finding LSW showed me that I was right to become a librarian and that I can find a place that's a better match for me. - John: Clockwork Librarian

Part of the reason this came to mind is that I frequently run into it myself - as in, my personal set of professional ethics seem to be more strict than those of the people around me. I know that part of this is the result of being raised by a public employee who believes that not only should one avoid improprieties, but one should also avoid even the appearance or suggestion of any improprieties. So, I tend to be strict with myself and careful about the appearance of what might be considered special privileges. Others don't seem to have this hang up. - Katy S

Along the lines of "charitable reading/writing", one piece of advice I've found really useful for difficult philosophical/political/etc discussions is Jay Smooth's suggestion to focus on "what they did/said" and not "what they _are_". http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008... He's talking in the context of discussions of racism, but I think it's well-taken in many touchy discussions. The flip side, which he doesn't address because he's _not_ talking about a discussion where both sides are trying their hardest to have a positive interaction, is, as a recipient of something that sounds or feels like a personal attack, to try to respond focused on what you and they said, rather than what you and they are. But it can be really hard when its someone you work next to every day. (ETA: Long story short: avoid making personal judgments in the midst of such conversations, _and_ avoid taking other people's statements as such whenever possible.) - N. Ansi

Katy, I'm generally the reverse -- arbitrary workplace restrictions are usually much more restrictive than I feel they should be... I tend to go as far as I feel I can for someone, all the way up to my read of the spirit of the rule... it's just good customer service. That said, there are lines that can't be crossed without risk of loss of job; I'll push the line as far as it will go, but not over the edge :) - awd