Melissa

@eoporto I see your candle. And I raise you one Bath & Body Works giftcard.

Oh Favrd, I miss you so. I could really go for some good Oral right about now.

Today is the Marilyn Manson to my Dita. Meaning I'd like it to just go fuck a 19 year old already; I've got champagne glasses to bathe in.

@riebschlager Really?! Then will you be on my Sumatran Xanax-Savaged Wombats (in crisis) panel? It's a cause very dear to my heart.

Prada dames. What they lack in heads, they make up for in extra limbs. - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

vintageladies: 1950’s by Gil Elvgren I don’t reblog Vintage Ladies just for the boobies, but because I get to say ‘ladies?’ too. LADIES? - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

Mark my words, someday *I* will be on a SXSW panel. About something. Once I figure out what SXSW stands for. Sexy Swimwear? (hopehopehope)

Monday (via goodwinter) - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

jamiek:Pancake Art - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

Gimme an m! Gimme an a! Gimme a t-t! What's that spell? God, get your mind out of the gutter, it's a *person*. Happy birthday @biorhythmist

Oh no no no that doesn't mean I'm sitting through Spiderman. Kirsten Dunst is buzz kryptonite. Yes that analogy makes no sense, I'm DRUNK.

I don't know if analogy was what I meant but I do know one drink isn't enough to silence the Proper Usage nazi in my head.

Enjoying this martini like only a person who hasn't eaten in 10 hours can. Related: I love everybody!

Mollycoddling (v): Letting me pause-rewind-pause the birthday cake scene in 16 Candles as many times as I need to [usually no more than 5].

Reciprocity Without Merit Breeds Meaninglessness - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

iheartmyart: Annika Koops, Mixed Mythologies, 2009 - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

@ivegotzooms I've tried screaming at mine, clapping, and throwing it on the ground to startle it but so far it isn't opening. Help.

When you say nothing all I hear is that the restraining order doesn't stop me from pasting up a copy of your timeline over my closet shrine.

formspring.me - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

(via tiresome) - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

yukko:778:fatherion:takaug:(via expo7000) Thankfully this doesn’t look anything like where I go snowboarding, because, seriously, running into some girl wearing the exact same outfit as me? AWKward. - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

Thanks for your contribution to contemporary Australian intellectual life. Anyone who calls their vagina a “yani” doesn’t deserve to have one. - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

jamiek:If web services were vintage paperbacks - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

Before you stomp that puddle, just remember that puddles can't livejournal the shitty things that happen to them. PUDDLES CAN'T ONLINE CHAT.

Thank You By - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

danielsh: Eighteen? Really? And most of them unrelated? Shit, I think JStor just got my fucking thesis pregnant. (Or I’m thinking about something way, way, way below mentioning in anything even resembling legitimate scholarship SHUT UP BRAIN.) “The Libra husband is reasonable. He is a born judge, and no other zodiacal type can order his life with... - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

Totally being productive and not farting around on Tumblr Booth. No way. Clearly working. Don’t you have eyes, man?! - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

No YOU’RE playing with your baby parrot instead of working. I mean, the computer is ON so I’m practically almost working. You say screensaver like it’s a bad thing. - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

goodwinter: glenn barr - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...

I Don't Have Any Childhood Christmas Pictures - http://mayjah.tumblr.com/post...