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I can't tell you how often I wish I had a finger-longer. #futurama
There is a difference between being in a hurry and being a moron. Thank you for demonstrating the difference this morning.
What about... Pillows that spray you in the face with coffee when it's time to get up?
This review is hillarious! Who write it? Oh, I did... #awkward #Catwoman by @MrBobDobolina! http://tardycritic.com 🐱 (via @tardycritic)
It's common knowledge: if you live in CA, you have an ocean view mansion, a private beach, and only party with celebs.
I left Kiwk Trip without buying donuts or cookies. Maybe I can grow up...?
RT @TriviallyTravis: @Ihnatko I used Gmail Beta as my full time email for years! Damn the torpedoes! #GodHelpme
Business After Hours at Bethany - http://www.flickr.com/photos...
Business After Hours at Bethany
Yeah, totally taking a box cutter to this jar of peanut butter so I can savor every last creamy drop.
Ideal product: coffee maker which can function for 7 days untouched. Auto turns on when my phone alarm wakes me.1
Instead of thinking of my bike as broken, I like to imagine it's really a transformer making minor gear modifications as I pedal.
RT @ashly_burch: Your main boy @TeddyDief just released his game Alphabeats feat. @BigGiantCircles and @Disasterpeace on the mic. https://www.youtube.com/watch...
I tried being normal once. It was SOOOO BOOORRRIIINNNGGGG.
John Mayer is far too passive. This "world" thing isn't going to change by itself.
This is like a bad joke. #WorldCup
Happy first annual RKZA Day! (Rabid Kindergarten Zombie Apocalypse Day!) - The first Monday after July 4th.
Ha recipe, I can put more chocolate chips in the cookie batter than that! ... Oh wow, there's a lot of extra chocolate chips there. :/
Someday, when we find out that autocorrect was just a big psychological experiment by Facebook to mess with us, no one will be surprised.
My secret is occasionally I am a slightly annoyed. #firstdraftmovielines
Every time I think about trying to combine my favorite things I remember that guacamole and Turtle Mochas just don't mix well.
Every time I think about trying to combine my favorite things I remember that guacamole and Turtle Mocha's just don't mix well.
Has anyone else turned @SGgrc 's liberal use of the word "famously" into a drinking game?
My life obstinately refuses to resemble a feature film, but it has no problem being a Khaled Hosseini novel. :/
So, now the cat is on a gluten free diet and he just sits and stares while I wolf down this second loaf of bread.
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