I think sometimes the lie is more for the teller than the hearer. Would "Fernando" have been surprised to learn that Melody felt that strongly about those things? I'd rather know the truth so I can decide whether to do something about it or not. - Daniel Dulitz
Unless Fernando dumber than a stone, he knew he was being lied to. It's hard to see any point in lying if you're somehow that bad at it. (Or maybe niniane was exaggerating the lameness of the lie for comic effect?) - j1m
Dumping can probably also be a last resort if all previous means of communicating the issue failed because the dumpee-to-be wasn't listening. - Philipp Lenssen
I don't think saying "I don't date fat people" is all that respectable either, but that's just me. In a way, hearing "you're too fat" would actually be great because then I'd know that the person who dumped me was in fact too shallow for me. But that requires a certain politics of body image and self-esteem. - Lilly Irani
@Lilly: That's exactly what I mean about the lie being more for the teller. - Daniel Dulitz
The truth can be very uncomfortable. People generally prefer denial. - Paul Buchheit
What if you ended relationships in whatever way felt 'right' but then agreed to exit interviews with an unaffiliated third party, so each side could have notes for improvement/reflection. - Kevin Fox
I have to agree with Philipp, they were not not open in their communication to one another ..but good communication from both partners is needed. - Peter Dawson
The times I actually heard some variant of, "you're too fat" in my dating life, it didn't come off as shallow. I am, in fact, fat, though, and it was usually from boys who legitimately liked me, but just couldn't get past my girth. Truth is important in the negotiation and preservation of a relationship. I don't know if a breakup is the place for "honesty" though, because each person is at a different place in how dead the relationship is and I've found truth at that point to be very subjective. - Clare Dibble
Is the truth all that well-defined or all that useful in this sort of situation? I feel like I have a difficult time even knowing *what* I feel sometimes, much less *why* I feel that way. (Maybe I'm just out of touch with my feelings and emotionally unavailable or something =P) On the other hand, I couldn't imagine telling a girl that she was too fat or not attractive enough even if I did feel that way. (Does feeling that way make me shallow? Is that really just a result of body image politics?) - Jim Norris
There are several comments about not liking fat people, and that being shallow, but I think the fact is, for a relationship to work, there must be physical attraction. I happen to be attracted to larger women. Does that make me less shallow? On the other hand, I am totally turned off by people I view as being not very intelligent, especially people who write LOL in the wrong context. - Robert Felty
As far as relationships, I've always been the dumped (not as bad as it sounds because I've only had 2 relationships...and that IS as bad as it sounds). In situations of turning down someone, I try to be politely honest. And I came to that after having been painfully bullshitted by cowards any number of times. Yet I've met people who would have preferred being lied to or getting a runaround. I've learned that The Golden Rule is flawed because not everyone likes to be treated the same way you prefer. - Spidra Webster
In the usual spirit of "solutions should always accompany criticisms", the reason "you're too fat" is harsh. Dumping should probably pass the "it's ok to white lie" test. If it was any sort of relationship at all the dumpee already knows the reason... - Steve Lacey
do people really break up because someone gains a little weight? how shallow! - Adam Sweet
I dislike how it's considered "shallow" (in a negative way) to reject someone because you are not attracted to them. When it comes down to it, we all want to date someone attractive. Why don't we just admit it? Yes, inner beauty is important, but what we really want is someone who's attractive *and* has inner beauty. Sometimes we're forced to compromise if we can't have both. But let's admit that, instead of pretending that physical attraction is so much less respectable than intellectual attraction. - niniane
It's too bad we use the term 'dump' regarding relationships. It rewards the first one who verbalizes a desire to get out of a relationship. Usually a series of events led to the breakup, and along the way, each person probably shares the blame for a failed relationship. - Chris White
I think somewhere along the line, evaluating people only based on their physical attractiveness (which is "shallow" even though it may not be "bad") got confused with taking physical attractiveness into account. I need to be with someone attractive. I have my own definition of that which occasionally confuses the people around me into thinking I don't take physical attractiveness into account. :-) - Daniel Dulitz
Do you know where I can get one in the Bay Area? I want one too! - Patrick Li
You're kidding. Let me know if it's good - Diana Thai
I just bought one today for my parents. GameStops are best place to get one...go during lunch and ask when they get shipments and call everyday. I called 20 minutes after they got shipment, and was lucky. - Pokai
So basically, she's saying she has no idea what love is, and she's too angry to even admit it exists? - j1m
I got way too distracted by all the blinking stars and pink background and ads and sidebars to actually read the post. Who is this person? - Robert Felty
re: j1m. No, she's just being very assertive. She believes in love. - niniane
re: Robert. She's one of the top-100 bloggers. She's the #1 blogger in Singapore. - niniane
she is hillarious....check out her review of iphone where her producers actually gave her fake china iphone instead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v... - Pokai
Arjun: Yahoo isn't an acronym. It's referring to a type of hominid-creature-thingy in "Gulliver's Travels" - possible248
The O's left for Google a long time ago - hunter walk
you can spot them occassionally down at the bottom of the search results goooo*oo*oooogle - Alex Gawley
Where'd Y and A go? Scoble told me one of those O's is worth about 5billion each! go grab it quick and cash it in (me thinks it is a lottery ticket!) - Susan Beebe
"The people who work there are really sweet, but my nail polish is full of bubbles afterwards. Even when I do it myself at home, I don't get air bubbles like this." - niniane
The color is unexpected, as though the pig is wearing a pink vest. - niniane
I had a pot belly pig as a pet for a while as a child, pigs don't actually like to be dirty, however they only have sweat glands on their snout and feet so they need to keep their bodies somewhat wet in order to stay cool. If given the choice a pig would prefer a clean pool of water, however mud is more accessible and works quite well for them. That aside, I don't care if this is photoshopped - it is super cute! - Rachel L Fisher
If you don't know who Julia Allison is then it's way less funny, however the unfortunate camera angle is funny in it's own right. She seriously brought this dog to a club. WTF? - Jason Shellen
She's the Paris Hilton of the tech world. Sad. - Duncan Riley
"Anyone can make a bad movie; Kate Hudson and Adam Sandler make them by the fistful. Anyone can make a sickening movie; we are already up to Saw IV. Anyone can make an unwatchable movie; Jack Black and Martin Lawrence do it every week. And anyone can make a comedy that is not funny; Jack Black and Martin Lawrence do it every week." - j1m
"An authentically bad movie has to be famous; it can't simply be an obscure student film about a boy who eats live rodents to impress dead girls." - j1m
That obscure student film sounds pretty cool, actually. - ⓞnor
Oh, you think it really exists? I mean, that's probably the plot of at least 2 Lars von Trier films, but he's not an obscure student. - j1m
No, as far as I know it doesn't. I was just trying to work out how that hypothetical movie would go, and I couldn't imagine any way to make it non-awesome. - ⓞnor
It was impressing dead girls that makes it awesome. If he were impressing living girls, it would not be. - niniane
Personally, I would eat live rodents if it would help me forget ever seeing the last Lars von Trier movie that I inflicted on myself: Dogville. I believe that it technically meets all of the set-out-criteria for worst movie ever. Although it does seem a stretch that for someone as (seemingly) clever as von Trier, Dogville wasn't a deliberate attempt to make the worst movie ever... - Kevin Scott
I found _The Boss of it All_ a funny (!) non-depressing (!!!) von Trier film about a small software company. _Dogville_... yeah. Another "are art circles just an echo chamber?" question. - ⓞnor
Yeah, I saw Breaking the Waves (sadly, all of it) and I was pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. - j1m
I like B better, but are your guest room's walls still the same shade of blue? It's kinda hard to tell B's bedframe color from the pic, but would it match the room's walls? - Dan Hsiao
B, but if your house more classical then A. - Pokai
B displays strength and grace with good proportion. A is a napkin doodle, a napkin doodle made by somebody trapped in a loveless marriage. - ⓞnor
re: torque. Haha, it should be the start of the advice app, you're right. - niniane
The thing is, I was leaning 99% toward A before writing this post. I'm still leaning toward A, but now only 80%. Also, re: @nor. I can provide the strength and grace and good proportion -- the bed doesn't need to bring that. :) - niniane
Though B is a tad "swirly" it looks more stable than A. I never know why people put the weird beds in guest rooms, perhaps it's because they dont have to sleep in them. - Colby Olson
A is more classic. might ultimately be easier to work with. - edythe
I'm not planning to "work with" my bed. But thanks for being the only supporter of A. :) - niniane
um hello niniane. i support. A. A! A! get A. - Neha Narula
Oh yeah. Thank you Neha!!! I am really leaning toward A. - niniane
This does not seem like it answers the question! - ⓞnor
I like the google ad for this post: * Make Him Fall In Love - How To Become The Woman He Adores And Never Wants To Leave. TheWomenMenAdore.com - minus3
Yeah, the article's advice was rather poor. - niniane
Though I liked the idea of finding a movie that parallels the relationship, and then deciding the category of the movie. So what's yours, Dan? :) - niniane
It says that Phantom of the Opera is about bittersweet love, but I always thought it was about lust. Or at least infatuation. Have I been missing a theme in Phantom this whole time? - Clare Dibble
"But I was deeply dismayed and disturbed that my comment would be construed in a way that flies in the face of everything I stand for - and everything I am fighting for in this election." [snip] "I am running because I still believe I can win on the merits. Because, with our economy in crisis, our nation at war, the stakes have never been higher - and the need for real leadership has never been greater - and I believe I can provide that leadership." - Ana
HRC is a whole bunch of crock. She lies thru her teeth like its second nature in their family. I dont trust her integrity - Peter Dawson
Any other women sick of this talking point: Hillary is running for us? Somehow she is the champion of our cause and her winning the nomination is the only evidence of progress in the feminist fight. - Shellee
Shellee, that talking point would indeed seem to be offensive to women. - Adam Lasnik
she has a very good chance of being president if she is persistent. for one thing she has something she never had before. Respect. She showed a will to fight and to do it on male terms. I'm not a feminist, but I saw strong character that I hadn't seen before when she was Green with Suha Arafat. I am glad she lost though because there is another fighter I like alot. John McCain. Perhaps if she continues to support America, it's allies and the troops then there is a chance for a real vision for health care that most agree with her about. She does seem to improve with age and I'm willing to bet that sympathy will grow for what she is struggling to do. She will improve her character as she grays. She got what she was looking for all year. Not the presidency, but empathy for her ideas... and she has become wise on foreign policy. - Noah David Simon
No doubt she has a real vision and I would like to see her leading, but right now I think it is important for America to stay the course and not look like we are backpedaling on Iraq. Especially with all the success in Sadr city this week that was ignored by the media. Hilary is a kinder and wiser sense of what government can do... but now is not the time to be spending domestic social programs. A Democrat in office would be a disaster. We have a war to win and McCain understands the point of alternative fuels.
"Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could make a good peace would never have won the war."
-Winston Churchill - Noah David Simon
A war to win?? You mean that country we invaded? If anything, the Winston Churchill quotes should be coming from their side. - Nick
I would rather have a good peace than spend trillions trying to win this stupid war. - ⓞnor
Agreeing with @nor, I would rather have supplies for our schools, homes for our homeless, food for our hungry. What's fascinating and extremely depressing is that with the billions we've spent on this fruitless endeavor in Iraq, we *could* have had this. Instead of killing people, we could have been healing, housing, educating people. What a concept. - Adam Lasnik
we invaded europe during WWII. I'm no pacifist. A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - Sir Winston Churchill - Noah David Simon
There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. -Sir Winston Churchill - Noah David Simon
I am not offended by the talking point that Hillary is running on behalf of women. The primary reason I would vote for Hillary is because I think having a female president would go a long way toward advancing feminism in our country. I'm really glad Hillary ran. - niniane
When you say "ours too" which country are you speaking for? - niniane
Algeria, Niniane. But IMHO that applies for everywhere... - directeur
Hmmm....I understand, agree to some degree. - Pokai
The Romanian way is much like the Chinese way, and bothered the hell out of me while I was living there, too. I'd rather have yes mean yes and no mean no (and risk being offended at times) than have to try to guess at what the other person would want me to say. - Tudor Bosman
ever been to an Indian's house for dinner ? I call it suffocating hospitality - viki saigal
Are you also buying a mattress? If so, I suggest going to one of the mattress stores and checking out their wares in person. I think Mattress Discounters have same day delivery. - April Buchheit
I should probably buy a mattress. Do mattress stores have good bed frames? Or just crappy ones. - niniane
I would buy the bed and mattress at separate stores unless you're on a really tight budget. Keetsa mattresses are incredible: http://www.yelp.com/biz/keetsa..., and they can ship to your door. - Chris White
I know it sounds like a commercial, but the sleep number beds are the most wonderful things ever!! I was a skeptic but a friend (who was going through chemo at the time and couldn't find any other bed that made her comfortable) convinced me and I have since convinced other skeptics to at least try. It shapes so well to your body and what other bed can you change because you back is feeling a little stiffer that day and a firmer mattress would feel better. Anyway, that is my two sense. - Rachel L Fisher
Chris... why bed and mattress at separate stores? That seems long on both budget AND time. And Niniane, what about IKEA? OW! $*#(@ that hurt... ouch ow!!!!!!!1 :p - Adam Lasnik
Adam, Keetsa (and other memory foam mattress stores) specialize in mattresses, so they often only have standard metal frames. I tend to like wood platform beds that sit only a few inches off the ground. We recently bought a Keetsa mattress and really like it. We're going to have the carpenter who's working on our cabinets make a platform bed for it. - Chris White
But you can buy memory foam + cute wood bed at IKEA, no? :) - Adam Lasnik
IKEA's beds (like most of their furniture) are rectilinear, minimalist "budget modern" style. I rather like that, but I'm pretty sure Niniane would rather sleep in the gutter than on a MANDAL (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/cata...) or a MALM (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/cata...). - ⓞnor
IKEA is the best bet. Eco and egonomical :)- - Peter Dawson
IKEA - not quite - a bed is supposed to last for a long time - IKEA stuf does not - gets all creaky and wobbly within a year - viki saigal
if you assemble it properly, an ikea bed will last a long time - Charles Hudson
If you are around a store Dania has some awesome bedroom furniture of awesome quality for a moderate price: http://tinyurl.com/37wz6. Either way if you want to do it right you're not going to escape for less than 3k (mattress/box/bedroom set). But it will last for a long time. - Brandon Werner
Leksvik (from Ikea) is not bad, but it only comes in one shade. MALM is okay too. - niniane
Hm, I would have thought MALM exemplifies everything you hate about guy taste. Straight lines, black surfaces, hard edges. It only needs steel and glass to make it complete. (I wonder if anyone makes a steel and glass bed frame?) - ⓞnor
I am relieved to know that Niniane isn't thoroughly disgusted with my (lack of) fashion sense. Er, clothes aside :D - Adam Lasnik
Served Warabimochi for a job well done! lol - Igor The Troll
We did buy a bed from Overstock.com ( http://www.overstock.com/Home-...? ) and we're happy with it. Putting it together was slightly more difficult than putting together IKEA furniture (mainly because the various parts are heavier). We love it, and it seems to be holding together well (unlike the IKEA bed that it replaced). - Tudor Bosman
Now, how cool would it be - though rather unlikely - if that guy actually reads that blog post. He might have long forgotten about that event, but I figure reading about it might make him go: Hey, wow, that was me! - Thomas Frütel
Now if he were to read this post and get back in touch with you would make for a Bollywood box office hit !! But serously I think that was really a nice tribute - clearly it left a lasting impression on you ! - viki saigal
Thanks Niniane, that post made me feel gratitude to those in my life that bring me reassurance. - Clare Dibble
I've often thought about writing people notes in the ether where only Google could find them, either because I don't know how to reach them or because it's been too long to talk to them out of the blue, but writing something *about* them that would come up when they google themselves seems interesting. - Kevin Fox
Wow. What a tragedy. We are so conditioned to luxury in this country, it is hard to read that and sit here at my laptop, in my air conditioned house, close to my children and not weep for those people... - Jeff Day via Alert Thingy
Thanks for sharing this article Niniane. - Shakeel Mahate
What gets me angry in stories like this are comments like "They were accompanied by a reporter." ... Do you mind if we follow you around and film you? How degrading, especially at a time like that. - John Mueller
What a sad story. Thanks for sharing. - Patrick Li
*Sigh* similar and more stories abound in China and India - and it makes you wonder- what value is ascribed to life by societies in different ecnomies - SAD - viki saigal
"Unfortunately, people are not good at picking a job that will make them happy. Gilbert found that people are ill equipped to imagine what their life would be like in a given job, and the advice they get from other people is bad, (typified by some version of “You should do what I did.”)" - Jim Norris
"It’s simple, proven advice, but few people take it because they think they are unique and their experience in a career will be different. Get over that. You are not unique, you are basically just like everyone else." - Clare Dibble
Question: how much money do you need to have a sex life? - Amber
Not much... many people have a sex life on a college budget... - Ross Miller
Is that really why few people take that advice? Do very many people even hear that advice often enough to separate it out from the heaps of other advice they get? Don't get me wrong, its excellent advice: switch careers early and often, you'll find that some make you much much happier than the first one you try. But it's good advice because, ahem, people are unique. - j1m
“It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have.” - Evan Parker
“Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness. And then the diminishing returns begin to set in.” Well, I guess that answers that question. - ⓞnor
penelope trunk kind of reminds me of niniane - Neha Narula
Firstly, I thought there was some recent research that revealed more money actually does result in more happiness, and the earlier "diminishing returns in salary increase after basic needs are met" was faulty. Secondly, I wish the article would clarify what they are categorizing within "sex". Thirdly, why does Penelope Trunk remind Neha of me???? Though I do wish I had a name like Penelope Trunk. Damn that's a good name. - niniane
I guess you both have the made-up-name thing going on... - Jim Norris
Is her name made-up? Anyway I've been reading her blog for the past 15 minutes. At first I liked her style of writing. But then I realized I haven't laughed once. Her blog isn't funny at all. It's anti-funny. So now Neha's comment offends me. Fuck you Neha! - niniane
“All we really want is to get paid and get laid.” ...thats the last line and theonly thing in the entire blog that resonates with me - all else is pure tripe - viki saigal
