"I live in constant terror and that terror informs my every word, thought, and action. See, the thing is, I honestly cannot control the bilious hatred and filth that oozes out of my mouth. I want to—believe me, I want to—but I can't. And every time I speak, a tiny voice inside my head is screaming, "Stop talking, you stupid, insensitive prick. JUST STOP FUCKING TALKING. All you do is spread hate and fear, and the world would be a better place without you, you worthless, amoral, cocksucking fuckface."" - Paul Buchheit from Bookmarklet

This needs the words "drug-addled, draft-dodging," added to the last sentence. - ha3rvey ($10 HUGS!!!)

"The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in" - Gabe

The Onion is a VERY liberal site. 1. They want to trash talk him. 2. If he had an article to write why would it be posted on a site that opposes his views? Totally fake. - Jeff Buchheit

Ahem. - aldenoneil

Does somebody dare impugn the fairness and balance of The Onion? - Gabe

Does somebody dare call Rush a liberal? - Jeff Buchheit

way-way-way-way-way-WAIT a minute. The Onion is putting out something fake now!? *cancels subscription* - Micah

It's got his picture there, and I can see him saying all of that. I think it's real. - Brian Johns

Brian, maybe you can see it, but it's not. - Kevin L

if it is fake, then WHY HASN'T RUSH COME OUT AND DENIED WRITING IT???? - Brian Johns

Wait a second. If the Onion is all fake, then how do you explain this article: http://www.theonion.com/content... - Gabe

Reality is also fake Gabe... - Paul Buchheit

If the Onion is so liberal, then how do you explain this Onion News Network clip: http://www.theonion.com/content... - Gabe

Rush did not write it. Hes not that sort of guy. And his Official rush sight does not show one sign of that. - Jeff Buchheit

OK, Jeff, if Rush didn't write it, then who did? Afterall, it has his name and picture right at the top! Are you trying to imply that this is some sort of parody of Rush Limbaugh? I just don't think The Onion does satire. - Gabe

I don't know what to say sometimes.Three points. It's the Onion, enough said. Who cares what Rush Limbaugh says but I do agree with him when it is applied to him that drug addicts should be deported. And it's "site." - Stephan Miller

1. Wouldn't you think that if he was to do that he would do that on one of his own publishing sites or radio show,etc.? 2. If he did that it is highly unlikely that he would still be broadcasting and reporting. That is the sort of article that you just tend to quit after writing. 3. It all makes sense that a site like the Onion would want to put Rush out of the media. They hate him, as do all democrats. - Jeff Buchheit

I think the imprimatur of the Onion gives this the necessary credibility he might not have had if he just put it on his own site. - Andrew C (✓)

I see what you mean but on his site people know 100% that it is him. - Jeff Buchheit

We should export drug addicts? Well, then...where would Rush go? - ‘-.-’ Tutivillus Grift

Jeff: What exactly do you mean by "a site like the Onion"? - Gabe

AFAIK there are no sites like the Onion. There are a few horrible wannabe copycats, but their grasp of humour is appalling. - Andrew C (✓)

I really can't place whether some people in the comments here are being sarcastic or sadly serious... - Jan Ole Peek

I think everyone besides Jeff realizes this Rush piece is quite obviously satire and never thought otherwise. Jeff realizes it's satire, but either thinks everyone else doesn't or is playing a massive prank on us. Since I don't know him and his feed is private, I don't have enough context to make a call either way. - Andrew C (✓)

Lots of people taking the bait here...did no one expect trolling at this level to occur on friendfeed? - Mr. Gunn

Well, I encounter enough real crazies on the internet that it's my default guess. - Andrew C (✓)