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Going to have to look at a lot of cute animals on the Internet to get Nicki Minaj's hellscape out of my mind before sleeping.
If CBS wants to put Chris Brown on TV all night, they should start a CSI: Domestic Abuse spinoff. #grammys
Bon Iver wins for Most Painfully Introverted.
Adele = The Egg McMuffin of vocalists. #grammys
Teen Girls: Taylor Swift is just like you. Teen Guys: Taylor Swift is gettable.
It was *48* years ago Tuesday that McCartney and the Beatles landed in New York for the first time. http://www.history.com/this-da...
I feel like the good vibrations the Beach Boys were picking up was probably hearing aid interference.
Ladies and gentlemen, to demonstrate the difference between craftsmanship and genius, Maroon 5 singing the Beach Boys.
I hope Blue Ivy wins Best Baby. She deserves it.
Arise, Pinhead Lady Gaga, and beat Chris Brown's ass.
Coming up next on the Grammy's, Adele's ex-boyfriend explains himself in a powerful Powerpoint presentation.
In ceremonies before the show, Mitt Romney won "Best Spoken Word Accidental Truthtelling" for "I Like To Fire People."
If Rick Santorum is elected president, the main jobs he creates will be in the babysitters sector.
NYT at its very best here with profile of critics of government programs who rely on them in need. http://www.nytimes.com/2012...
If Darwin were alive today, he would have to defend his theory against the existence of the GOP primary field. #darwinday
Maine election results will depend largely on state's large Crustacean-American population.
On this day in 1975 Meryl Streep became first woman to head UK conservative party. She went by different name back then.
When I heard Romney won CPAC, I just assumed it was the Caymans Political Action Committee.
Happy birthday to Taylor Lautner and Sarah Palin, two famous bloodsuckers from 2008.
I got you a present, Jeremy Lin. Go ahead, open it. It's ALL MY SPORTS ATTENTION.
I've prepared a room in my head for you, Jeremy Lin. It was Tebow's. You can crash there for a while. We'll see how it works out.
Congratulations to MItt Romney on his Extreme Conservative Makeover.
Seems like GOP is for laying pipe without taking proper precautions in all circumstances.
GOP is scoring more own goals than a U-8 YMCA soccer team.
Romney's genius plan to go into general election alienating women and Hispanics right on schedule.
When Romney speaks at CPAC, he should come out, clear throat, sing "I Can't Make You Love Me", drop mic, and leave.
Romney needs a good speech tomorrow. I hope he takes a nice bath in oil to lubricate his asynchronous servo motors.
Google quantifying humor is humorous: "elongation (loooooool), repetition (lolololol), exclamation (lolllll!!!!!)" http://googleresearch.blogspot.com/2012...
Romney has big CPAC speech tomorrow, titled "Settle For Me."
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