"It was all worth it when you realized you couldn't outrun me and so you stopped with your back to me in shame, and I kicked you in your hole. You might not remember, but I said: "Are you sorry? Are you sorry? Say you're sorry!", and you did. That was great. Then I said: "run on home, you asshole! Run home!" and you did that, too!" - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
I see you use craigslist personals in much the same way I do - comic relief - Jennifer Van Grove
I love me some CL insanity! Although I loved this one just for the pissed-off girl-powerishness of the thing. - Roger Benningfield
"Tip 3: Jump into a public pool or spa. This is just as effective as a shower or even better because you get maximum "soakage" and it requires less work such and combats lazy reach arounds in the shower. Believe it or not, that is the only useful purpose for public pools, I think of them as gigantic bathtubs that goggle up loose ass hairs, dingleberries and makes a great place to take a quick pee. If I find myself in that situation, I just jump in the pool on one end, pee then swim to the other end, do a couple quick 360's under water then jump out the shallow side and dry off." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
My wife, who is already paranoid about swimming in lakes because of their perceived grossitude, is going to run screaming from the room when I show her this. - Roger Benningfield
I love that their news acquisition system consists of fifteen TiVos and a VTR, although I pity the poor bastard who has to manage the whole mess. - Roger Benningfield
"What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME"." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
ha ha ha . . . giant . . . too funny - Lindsey Smith
"20-30 henchmen needed for moderately-sized supervillain organisation with large expansion potential (fortresses built into geological structures, corruption of government officials, possible genesis of 'nemesis' vigilante). Electrical theme.
Applicants must be willing to learn new skills, including but not limited to operation of specialised 'lightning guns'. Applicants will also be required to wear specialised uniform when at work (functional rubber suits with my logo on front), except in cases where deception is required (posing as hostages in order to ambush vigilantes, etc)." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
Whenever I hear people argue that sex should stay out of the workplace, I think: "Hell, I would have never lost my virginity if I'd followed that policy." - Roger Benningfield
mmmm... military service counts in or what? ;) - silpol
"Love-Hewitt - who turns 30 next February - tells the September issue of Health magazine, "I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, 'No, I feel fat today!' Now the joke's on me.
"I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer, because there will be that one day in your twenties when you'll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg."" - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
My wife shouted "YES!" from the other room when I read this to her. - Roger Benningfield
"Last week I had to sit Scarlett down and say Listen. You can't come over to my house in the middle of the day and yell at me. I'm too busy and too tired and my patience is at too low an ebb.
And she said, but I'm not even mad at you.
And I said, but when you're mad, you're mad at everyone. You're an equal opportunity hater. I might not be the one you're yelling at, but I'm the one you're yelling at, so chill." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
"Dude. That was like the Braveheart speech except instead of getting a bunch of Scottish people pumped up to fight for their independence he got a bunch of vaginas pumped up to fight for his penis." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
"Well, you *could* use XML-RPC as a payload in a RESTful app... all you'd really need to do is treat the method/fail elements as vestigial organs and use HTTP verbs and URIs appropriately. But as others have pointed out, once you're doing that, why not just use JSON and get the bennies of broader client support?" - Roger Benningfield
"Unfortunately the Geekini strictly a concept piece at the moment, but that’s okay, because you’ll probably need a little time to round up a girl to put in it in. After the jump, see full photos and find out where they put the “Start” and “Select” buttons." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
"By the way, I remember that "fight" from when it happened, and it's been referenced many times since. (Barkley himself has said that "People always ask me if I had any regrets in my career. Remember when I threw that guy out the window? I regret I was on the first floor.")" - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
"All performers in Malaysia are required to wear clothes that cover their bodies from chest to knee and must also refrain from jumping, shouting, hugging or kissing onstage." - Roger Benningfield via Bookmarklet
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“"I had a pimple once..." is the new Head-On. Annoying ads continue to amaze.”
