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Virtually ignored in the conversation is the impact of “social infertility”—Day’s coinage for the growing number of women who don’t have a partner or the right partner while they can have children. It’s a big problem for women born in the ’70s, says Day, who experienced social infertility herself: she married at 23 and tried to get pregnant in her... -
Oh sure, I made tentative steps toward complaining, but I was put back in my place pretty quick. Told I’d “never get along with everyone I worked with,” leaving me in no doubt that the porn in the office, constant hard-core sex talk and bursts of verbal abuse were my problems to deal with. “Just part of life,” I was told, breezily by a man in a... -
The schoolteacher is part of a growing global movement that’s giving voice to a misunderstood phenomenon whose repercussions are personal and societal. “We think there is a room called childlessness with two doors: ‘didn’t want’ or ‘can’t have,’ ” says Jody Day, the writer and social entrepreneur behind, a network based in... -
Well, I can tell them what I wish I’d done differently. I wish I’d found a good counselor instead of taking the medication, I wish I’d talked to women higher up in the company instead of yelling at my husband about things that weren’t his fault, and I wish I’d recognized my power and escaped a lot earlier than I did. Easier said than done though,... -
kindle paperwhite ordered!
omg not often I start reading something thinking it will be interesting and stop after a few paragraphs with nausea
Sure, those three indicators are pretty superficial and the actual guidance in the article is to shift your expectations away from lust to friendship, which seems like reasonable advice. But is it really asking so much that I’m looking for an equal here? Admittedly since I chucked in my corporate job I’m not earning anywhere near $87,000 a year... -
Recently I read an article on NPR where the message seemed to be: single women, lower your expectations and then you’ll find a romantic partner. The article was written by a man. I suspect a single one but that could just be my bitterness coming through. Get used to it because we’re really about to drink in some lemon, lime and bitters. Heavy on... -
i get my kindle books from but order stuff (physical) from — if I buy my kindle from .de will I be in trouble?
I have been increasingly concerned for some time now that egg-freezing is being promoted by the media as the new way to buy peace-of-mind insurance for those women struggling with social infertility, whilst its low success rates and patchy live birth data was not being explored. -
In surveys, women say infertility is the worst thing that has ever happened to them, even when compared to the death of a loved one, says Harding, who’s noticed an increase in people seeking emotional support around infertility. ‘When someone else seems to get pregnant easily or accidentally - that can be really difficult to take.’ -
The “don’t give up hope” type of comment is the one that hits me closest to the core. While I think that hope is key to human survival, I think it can be dangerous if it isn’t backed by action. Just hoping something will happen someday is how potential and lives get frittered away. -
Platitudes such as “It will happen when you least expect it…God must have a plan for you to birth something else…You need to love yourself more, then love will find you” just don’t fly here. -
The whole childfree-by-chance-or-circumstance status is painful, period, and I’d like those of us who are lucky to be in happy relationships to pause and acknowledge the quagmire of emotions when it’s compounded by the whole single-not-by-choice scenario. -
Wishing for You, Wishing for Me | Heather Travis -
so incredibly blown away by the positive reception my first @HuffPostWomen article has received, over 1000 likes! - Heather in Heels (HeatherNHeels) - Stephanie Booth
D’you see where I’m going with this, folks? Why don’t we reclaim Mrs (Missus, Mistress) for all those of us, married and unmarried, who feel empowered? Shall we put back this particular linguistic clock, begin foxing the bureaucrats with their forms by filling in the ‘Mrs’ box whatever our marital status? Telling them only what we want them to... -
But I’m single, childless and, sadly, don’t live a marine life with whales. For you and me, single/celibate, post-menopausal lady, we’re probably sadly lacking in close-knit ‘family groups’ that we feel we can belong to and permanently live with (including new-style, progressively structured ‘families’ of friends and/or relations). If we can’t... -
We expect understanding of our stress and grief over a death or a divorce or the diagnosis of an illness. We just have to reveal the situation in a single sentence, and all empathy and understanding are afforded us. It is hard to use the same few words of explanation and have people understand of the real stress of infertility. It is difficult to... -
A person can’t just say one word, as they can with illness or bereavement, and have the scale of it be understood. The attempts I’ve made to talk about it with friends and family have often left me gawping like a fish, unable to find a starting point: there are too many facets, too many factors that run into and around one another. -
And yet, research shows that women dealing with infertility experience as much stress as women dealing with cancer. And anecdotal indication from some women who have experienced both cancer and infertility is that they find the infertility harder to deal with. Perhaps because they can can talk about the cancer. Perhaps because the stress and grief... -
I have been in two minds whether to write about this. I’ve hidden the worst of it even from my nearest and dearest. But after two years, I’ve weakened behind the mask. I feel like the experience is changing who I am, and not for the better. I feel embarrassed to be in so much pain about it. I’m afraid to speak about it, in case the pain shows... -
But we don’t. Again and again. And we grieve the loss. But the loss of what? There is no pregnancy, no child, and therefore no real grief. But when there is no single cathartic moment which allows one to whole-heartedly give in to that grief, no way to point directly to something and say “that, that is what I’ve lost”, then there is no means to... -
I have known grief before: I have lost dear family members, and I have experienced gut-hollowing relationship-breakdowns. Those losses have been terrible events, points of excruciating pain which must be endured and assimiliated over time. But unless something goes wrong in that process, that grief can progress: it is, in many ways, clear and... -
Infertility. Even the word isn’t straightforward. It does not quite mean what it seems to mean. It is not the same as a medically proven inability to conceive. Infertility is not so much a diagnosis as a retrospective description of circumstance. It is often not attributed to any cause, and its symptoms are the lack of something, a failure of the... -
I was struck by the fact that no reference was made to the large numbers of people who will age without children. I have spent 20 years working in the field of ageing and have never heard it mentioned. Instead, speakers use anecdotes about their children and grandchildren to connect with the audience, because it is assumed that everyone has... -
Without them, the health and social care system would collapse completely. But here’s the thing: one in five women born in the 1960s don’t have any children, and ONS statistics predict this will rise to one in four for women like myself born in the 1970s. I did try to look for statistics for people as opposed to women, but naturally in a sexist... -
She went silent, clearly flustered, and finally said, “It’s different.” Not satisfied, I persisted, until she became impatient and burst out, “It’s company policy: If you’re over 80 and had an accident in the last five years, we can’t offer you an umbrella policy.” Surprised, I was rendered mute for a moment. After what seemed like a long time,... -
I didn’t choose not to have children, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that for me, and tens of thousands like me, the state cannot rely on our children to look after us when we get old. And there will be more of us because we’ll live for a long time. Where is the forecasting on this issue? Has anyone at the Department of Health even... -
In the 2012 survey of U.S. undergraduates, 66 percent of women and 81 percent of men believed that female fertility did not markedly decline until after the age of 40. One-third of women and nearly half of men believed this marked decline occurred after the age of 44—an age at which an I.V.F. cycle is least effective. The study concluded that “the... -
Being childless - -
RT @jodykat: Being childfree - why are we so intolerant of those who choose not be parents? - Stephanie Booth
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