Cos men can be creeps? - jjprojects

I have a theory about why this is: women get a lot more shit from random people on the Internet. Sexual jokes. Stalking behavior. Etc. That they learn they have to be more guarded than men have to be. - Robert Scoble

@women keep their accounts private LOL, yep mostly so. - Chirag Chamoli

Sadly, that's probably exactly it, Robert. - Chris Charabaruk

jjprojects: yeah, that's my theory. I wonder if women agree? - Robert Scoble

Robert it depends on the account. My facebook is private. My twitter is public. - sofiagk

Maturity has shown me that men are more trusting initially (until someone shows they can't be trusted) .... whereas women have to be won over, Then they'll trust anthing! (Jim Beasley) - Jim Beasley

I do think it's cause of the sad fact that way too many men confuse "conversation" with "must use pick up lines". Seriously, if men were hit on by every new person they met they'd be seeking a bit of refuge too! - alphaxion

Men are much more keen on the concept of exhibitionism. - Dave Roth

Main reason I keep most of my internet accounts private are crazy ex-boyfriends on the verge of stalking & new man jealousy. - Chrissie M

From what I've seen women tend to get a much higher number of followers if they have a picture of themselves. These followers also tend to DM them quite a lot or send many @ replies too. - Shaun Bohannon

Maybe more woman use FF for private affairs. I don't use it for that... For me the main value-add of FF is that it's public, and because of the "subscription" model it allows for getting acquainted with each other through your stream (just like blogs). I'm not gonna post my whole personal life here. I don't want to connect on THAT aspect of my life. - Meryn Stol

Agree. I keep my fb more exclusive & only have let a few people from Twitter onto it. People who I don't think will be perving over pics and making inappropriate comments. Guys can defintiely be weird about things like that. And my friends definitely are ;) - Lindsay Davies

PORNO: I just checked out some of your recents that you mentioned here's one: http://twitter.com/webwonky Is Twitter porn becoming an industry? Maybe you have to pay to play? Or be influential like Scoble you cad you! - The Real sofarsoShawn

I'm not a man, but I play one on the Internet. It's not that they are hit on. It's that men, especially insecure geeks who dominate early adaptors in this technology you use, do not like women to talk back. When women talk back, it infuriates them and they lash out nastily. Andrew Keen could not get away with saying "you're a handful, dear" --as he said to me -- to a man. Some women don't want to go through this cycle of backlash and disparagement, so they make their thoughts closed except for friends. - Prokofy Neva

"It's that men, especially insecure geeks who dominate early adaptors in this technology you use, do not like women to talk back." -- what kind of weird part of "the internet" are you on??? - Meryn Stol

Well, women are much more socially attuned then men. - Ahsan Ali

Meryn: the rules are different, but most people don't like it when men talk back either. I was getting grilled by an ABC News Reporter (a guy) at Pirillo's party the other night and after he was done tons of people came up to me and said "boy, was he an asshole." (I didn't mind him, he was just trying to find a sensational angle for a story). - Robert Scoble

I am like Sofia and keep FB private, like Twitter to have fun publicly just to connect with people, and use Linked In for professional connections with people I really connect with in business. Figure if not open then not going to connect but do reserve the right to keep private what want to. intuitive about deciding whether want people in my feed if don't feel right. - Jenn Shallvey

"most people don't like it when men talk back either." hehe :) - Meryn Stol

Sadly, men can be such jerks sometimes. I'm much more careful who I let into my Facebook network than any other service for that reason. - Sally Church

I think that many people are using FF as a Facebook replacement. I don't. I'm also not someone who "reciprocates" subscriptions by default... Sure, if your feed interests me, I'll subscribe too. But for me, FF is not about "being friends". Friendship can develop of course... Maybe I'll let you into my Facebook at some time. ;) - Meryn Stol

I noticed that too, Robert.On FriendFeed & Twitter, women keep their accounts private. - Thierry R. Andriamirado

Interesting to me that people are using facebook as their private place and leaving twitter wide open. I actually do the opposite - I friend pretty much anyone on facebook but my twitter is pretty exclusive. (I'm not a woman, btw.) I suppose I find my twitter communications more valuable than facebook. Anyone else have this view? - Scott Breakall

I think pretty much all of my accounts (save LiveJournal) are public. LJ is friends-only for no real reason except I figure I'm not that interesting. - Nine

I keep my FB private but have a public stream on FF/Twitter under an alias. It's a one way street. People who know me on FB, know my alias. If you only know me on FF/Twitter, you won't know my real name. I've had a restraining order taken out in the past on a stalker and would like to avoid having to do so in the future (or having said stalker find me). Men probably don't see the likelihood of someone figuring out where they live and stalking them as high. Why put yourself out there when it's not necessary? - Hooeyspewer

Noticed this one to be true in some other services like Facebook or Myspace. - Nir Ben Yona

more men stalkers than women stalkers I guess - Bill

Many geek men would probably be only flattered, if someone bothered to stalk them ;) - Jemm

Women are more fearful then men of unwanted attention. Most of my accounts have always been open. Social networking with a private account is like a car wash with soap only and no water...it just doesn't make any sense. I finally "limited" my Facebook and Myspace settings but have enough information for people to "find" me which is my goal. - mrsha

As it is, there are ladies on FF who are 'public' who have gotten some attention they didn't ask for: GChat messages, FB pms, propositions, etc. It's a pain to deal with, especially if you're already in a relationship because you have to explain that this kind of attention isn't *why* you're online but that it's unavoidable sometimes as a woman. A lot of gents don't understand that and will think you're participating in order to *get* that kind of attention. I'm not on FF to get hit on any more than I go to the library to get hit on, but it happens. When I'm at the library people can see my wedding ring and unappreciative body language and they back off. Online, people don't get that feedback and can be quite persistent. - FFing Enigma

some have to agree that the major social network show more protectionism then real life. if you dislike a member block it, block is an easy tech tip, ignore is a powerful one too, go out and try to block or ignore, many social protection are widely implemented in social network and arn't in real life. - abdellah

but it is not about protection, it is about preference. - abdellah

Actually, I don't think there's really that much more protectionism online than off, abdellah. In real life, if you harass me and hit on me all the time at, say, work, I take the issue to Human Resources. If it's in a social circle, I just avoid situations where I would run into you, essentially blocking you from my life but missing activities or places I enjoy in order to do so. Online, I get the option of blocking you but don't have to change my behavior or miss out of activities (read: sites) I enjoy to do so, which is different than real life. - FFing Enigma

this is why tina I says it is all about preference. discussing the preference in regard of gender is risky :) may be sexist too.it is hard and subjective to explain preference, but to use argument that some may cause disagreement when we are offered all the tool to block or to ignore them is also a weak argument. - abdellah

I'm not really sure why speaking about an objective fact (i.e. that the majority of stalkers are male) is subjective or sexist. It's just a fact, and knowing that fact means that those most likely to affected (i.e. women) can take actions to protect themselves if they see fit. The problem with doing so online is that if you're going to do so you pretty much have to do so preemptively by being 'private' from the get go and then letting people into your personal walled garden. Starting out public and then blocking as the need arises causes problems. One: that block is good for only one services, you've now got to find that person and block them everywhere. Two: there's nothing preventing that person from creating a new account and beginning the frustrations all over again. I'm not saying having a private feed is or isn't the most reasonable way to go, I'm just saying I completely understand the impetus to have one. - FFing Enigma

I've noticed that a lot too, not sure why. But I did grapple with the whole concept of personal branding and safety when I first started blogging. For women, there seems to be more of a process - get into a space, figure it out, then gradually evolve outward. - Tiffany Monhollon

tina, I agree that some want to have some privacy, I will not try to give more argument on (discussing preference based on gender is sexist or not) , but here is what can make us agree both of us: understanding isn't justifying, we can understand event or any fact but some time even if we understand them we can explain them or justify them, this is what make preference a concept that is mainly interpreted not explained. - abdellah

Systemic misogyny. They say for everything we recognize to offend a woman's sensibilities, she recognizes perhaps another ten ways. - Jesse Crockett

because men brag about their conquests, whereas women don't - despite playing the game as well as men... - Pedro Rocha

hahahaha *nods head* - The Real sofarsoShawn

Because men can be pigs. [/oink oink] - Steven Perez

BOOM...BOOM..BOOM...BOOM..BOOM via Opium - The Real sofarsoShawn

Women have the instinct to know that they going to guys hitting on them - Azzam

women do not feel safe on the Internet women are farmers, men are hunters - Thomas Power

Hasn't been my experience, at all. Nearly all the private accounts I've come across to follow were male. But, I'm usually the exception that proves the rule as the nuns used to tell me! I'm an open networker, but I do block people nearly every day. - Lydia Sugarman

Most of the men I am following are keeping their accounts private. Not sure why.. - Jonny

as a women, I understand the reason some women keep their account private, especially if they have been harassed before, there is nothing more annoying then having to deal with unwanted conversations from guys who think that acting like a 14 old is cool - Kim Landwehr

Because, women love to use in their arsenal the tactic: "the thrill of the chase". Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. You gotta earn the cow. - The Real sofarsoShawn

Not gonna read all those comments, but it's obvious women are more afraid to put themselves out there because they're more likely to be harrassed by men. I can post all types of half-naked pics, tell my life story, even post my phone number. It's doubtful any women will bother me. If a woman did that, it would be all over with. :) - Rah-PM 2012

Exactly what Rahsheen said. - Rochelle

Females are more careful (paranoid?) than men. I've never had issues and all my contact info is out in the open ie: cell phone number, AIM, GTalk, Skype, e-mail address, etc. - Mona Nomura

Okay, you just got me to join friendfeed for this discussion... I originally kept my Facebook private and twitter public (twitter was an extension of my blog). Sadly, someone decided to "cyber-stalk" me via twitter, creating bogus accounts similar to mind and friending my friends. It appears to have been an ex-coworker, possibly. Due to the harassment, I locked down my twitter account - even though I really didn't want to. So yes, you are right on your theory. - RC

That's not surprising at all. We women have to treat our online security as seriously as we do our offline security. Regardless, both men & women must carefully weigh the 8 Ps of Online Social Networking: 1) Persona 2) Privacy 3) Postings 4) Placement 5) Plan 6) Police Yourself 7) People 8) Price. It's an individual’s choice to decide how much of themselves they will give. Historically speaking men have been more comfortable sharing details about themselves since their risks are significantly less. - Renée Barrett

By coincidence, I was just wondering today whether I should use my full name or not. My concern has been less about online harassment and more about steering clear of some people I already know from offline. When I was younger I might not have thought twice, but I've witnessed and/or experienced enough unpleasantness by now I'm more cautious about such things. - Rebecca Lasley

because of That Guy - Richard Akerman

Hanging out on IRC in the early-mid 90's, I learned that guys would start asking me if I wanted a boyfriend the MOMENT they found out I was female. That question might have or might not have been preceded by requests for pictures (and sometimes nude pictures). I learned to go gender neutral. This has something to do with why I rarely post pics online or use my real name. Someone I work with once said women didn't belong in IT, so when I posted reviews/articles, I wanted to be judged regardless of my gender. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

I go neutral, rather than go private, and I think I STILL had someone fooled last week, despite the FF memes. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

I keep mine private because of search results. - Patricia

Women also tend to need to be more private. There are a lot of creeps and stalkers out there. - Elpie

We keep ours public because of search results;) - fansnap