Robert Scoble
My son likes the new Eminem song "Crack a Bottle." I do too. More proof I am a bad parent?
I don't know the song, but still, not at all. - coldbrew
No, of course, no :) - directeur
Nothing wrong with Eminem. Glad he's still around. - Sally - Skyrimmin' It
"Good" or "bad" parenting depends on whether it helps or hinders a child from ultimately becoming the best version of himself or herself. That's the test. - Victor Panlilio
Funny, I was just saying in my last blog post that you like Eminem, but still are a jazz lover :) - directeur
You're all good, as long as you teach him how to play gin, hearts, spades, and/or bridge; how to make a fire is also important. Don't forget BBQ ;-) - coldbrew
Directeur: I like all kinds of music. Some of my best experiences were sitting on the floor in Preservation Hall in New Orleans two feet from the sax player.Jazz is great. - Robert Scoble
Lose yourself is one of Eminem's best songs ... you heard that one Robert? ( - frank barry
Robert, Lucky you! :) I was sure that you love Jazz! - directeur
Exposing a child to "everything that is out there" is a recipe for heartache. Until and unless a child has formed the ability to discern what is helpful and harmful to his or her human development (in the fullest sense), it is better to err on the side of caution. Would any of you, as parents, give your child, for example, hallucinogenic substances, so that your child can be exposed to "everything that is out there"? How "out there" do you want them to be? - Victor Panlilio
Content is different from brain altering chemicals, let's not get carried away. - coldbrew
A brain still in development, mind you. - coldbrew
"Content" alters the brain. See - Victor Panlilio
Victor: I want to prepare him for adulthood. When he is an adult I would expect that he will go to Amsterdam. What will he try there? I hopehe surrounds himself with smart people who protect him from trouble. As to mind altering substances I am partial to Merlot and Oban scotch. - Robert Scoble
Those substances are NOT illegal in Amsterdam. - Robert Scoble
Adulthood =! every experience in the world. Even though the word "adult" in our culture has many meanings, some of them are not conducive to healthy human development. For example, child pornography is a thriving "adult" business. I just read in the news that there are hundreds of thousands of people who are addicted to child porn. I suspect that is a low estimate. - Victor Panlilio
Nope. Not even a little. And I am qualified to speak on bad parenting. - Martha
Robert, is your son my age? - Michael Forian
Panlilio, if you could point to a specific article that would support your argument that exposure of adolescent humans to ideas at the url you referenced, that would be helpful. - coldbrew
My son, at age 14, was arguing about porn and censorship with Jonathan Adelstein, FCC commissioner. Again: protecting kids from evil does NOT prepare them for adult life. In three years Patrick will be an adult. I think he will be prepared. - Robert Scoble
Child porn? WTF!? - coldbrew
As for transparency, sure. My son knows, for example, that drugs can harm his brain development — he has a book titled "I am a Drug-Free Kid" and he knows that what he eats becomes part of his body, which is the outside world, just organized a little differently. - Victor Panlilio
Scoble's son is now a likely child pornographer unless he is "protected"? My stomach now hurts, thanks :-) - coldbrew
We have had conversations about child porn. For instance, to warn him that emailing a photo of himself or a friend naked is a felony. - Robert Scoble
Michael: Patrick is 15. - Robert Scoble
At least the song talks about safe sex. - Bryce Roney from IM
@coldbrew: I have worked on corporate networks of thousands of PCs, and we didn't go out of our way to police what people download to their computers. At my current place of employment, we have an acceptable use policy that every employee has to agree to, and if they violate its terms, they are subject to disciplinary action. A few years ago, an employee at the Dept of Defence (in Canada) was arrested for having 25,000+ images of child porn on his work PC — storage and bandwidth paid for by taxpayers. - Victor Panlilio
Ok then. Well, on the subject of the song, I don't believe you are a bad parent at all for liking the it. I listened to it before and it's not as bad as the rest of them (pretty good beat too). It's also smart of you to teach him about the repercussions of child pornography. I've gotten a few "graphic" images, from people I won't name, sent to my phone. I believe it's called "sexting". - Michael Forian
Re: safe sex — when I donated blood, Canadian Blood Services asked me all kinds of questions, e.g. have you had sex with a man, have you had sex with a prostitute, have you had sex with multiple partners. etc. They're obviously not interested in protecting my sensitive feelings or in being politically correct, they're interested in making sure the emergency blood supply is safe, and of course they're going to test it no matter what I say. But the questions are designed to discourage certain types of donors. - Victor Panlilio
Yes, disturbed people do exist, but those people exist in very small numbers. Exposure to ideas doesn't make one susceptible to interest in partaking in those ideas. Humans have discriminatory abilities by age 6 at least, in my experience. - coldbrew
Screening questions related to donating blood, a matter of life and death, are now relevant how? - coldbrew
@coldbrew: talk to a mental health professional, e.g. a clinical psychologist who works in public health practice, about "very small numbers" — you might be surprised about how common certain mental disturbances are - Victor Panlilio
Victor: I am more worried my son will spend too much time online than he will get addicted to some weird drug. - Robert Scoble
I'll do that after I search the entire site you first linked to in order to support your argument that unfettered access to ideas by a 15 year old could pollute their minds and cause them to be interested in child porn :) - coldbrew
Woah, and this conversation now makes me wonder again what could happen to people who assume that everyone they communicate with online is of age and send inappropriate content to someone who is not? - MiniMage
@coldbrew: "safe sex" can be a matter of life and death for HIV carriers and the people with whom they exchange bodily fluids. - Victor Panlilio
bad parent? no. bad taste? debatable.. :P - Terry O'Fee
Robert: If he really is your son, why isn't he on FriendFeed?! He must have the gene in him! - Michael Forian
Terry: I had a college professor who thought anything other than classical music is in bad taste. - Robert Scoble
At least you have a relationship with him, and he feels comfortable sharing his interests with you! - Freddie Scott
@Robert: "protecting kids from evil does NOT prepare them for adult life." I work for an environmental engineering firm. We design, build, and do things that help prevent companies from harming the environment, and if these companies have already done so, we help them undo the harm. By way of analogy: I wish to shield my son from harmful substances AND harmful influences. You ask whether you are being a bad parent. Perhaps it's not the "wisdom of the crowd" that you should listen to, but your conscience. - Victor Panlilio
When my niece was 12, she clicked on the top hit in a search result, and it turned out to be a porn site. She very calmly said, "Oh, that's porn. Mommy already talked to me about it. Those people probably don't love each other, they're just doing it for the money." My sister had not prevented my niece from exploring online, but she helped my niece internalize the values that would serve her well in later life. I aspire to do the same for my son. - Victor Panlilio
Well done Victor! - Nestor
@coldbrew wrote: "support your argument that unfettered access to ideas by a 15 year old could pollute their minds" — ever heard of neuroplasticity? — — there, that's my contribution to your learning - Victor Panlilio
Dont' worry Robert, I can personally guarantee that you won't come in last place in the daddy awards! Finishing ahead of second-to-last, well, that's up to you to work on! :-) - Morgan
Michael: he has a friendfeed account but hasn't been here much: - Robert Scoble
Victor: I knew someone in high school who's parents were very religious and kept him away from all sorts of "bad" influences. No movies over PG. No talks about sex or drugs. Church every Sunday, etc. When he got to college he drank himself to death (happened to two kids I knew of in my Silicon Valley high school). If you don't give your kids real life experiences they will go overboard when they are out of your grip. I'd rather give my son some real-world skills to deal with this stuff like an adult. - Robert Scoble
Robert: raising children is like holding a wet bar of soap. Grasp too firmly, and it will shoot out of your hand. Don't grasp firmly enough, and it will slide out of your hand. It is admirable that you wish to give your son "real-world" skills, but my best friend's dad's idea of "real-world" was to take him to a prostitute when he turned 16. So, your high school friend's parents were well-intentioned, but they probably grasped the bar of soap too tightly. - Victor Panlilio
Victor: yeah, that's going too far for me. - Robert Scoble
After hearing what Robert said: I've gotten myself in to some pretty embarrassing situations at boarding school when it came to drinking (especially on my birthday). But, if that never happened, I would never have learned the true responsibility of being able to drink. Another note: your friends at boarding school become more and more like family, and are always their to bail you out in situations like these. - Michael Forian
Michael: I learned a few things about drinking: 1. you can drink yourself to death. So, don't engage in drinking games until you have some experience about how far to go (and you have friends around you who won't push things too far). 2. Don't mix drinks. Pick one to start the night and stick with it, no matter how tempted. 3. Don't get in cars with drunk drivers (remember, when you're drunk yourself you can't often tell if your driver is drunk). - Robert Scoble
Panilio, I just can't follow your logic, sorry. We can just disagree. - coldbrew
@coldbrew: According to the theory of neuroplasticity; thinking, learning, and acting actually change both the brain's physical structure (anatomy) and functional organization (physiology) from top to bottom... A substantial paradigm shift is now under way ( - Victor Panlilio
@coldbrew: In other words, the immutability of adult brains is now being questioned by neuroscientists, which means that our brains can be changed by influences to which they are exposed long after adolescence. And this implies that whatever powers of discrimination we think 6 year olds may have are still open to being profoundly influenced at 15, or 50. There, that logic wasn't so hard to follow, was it? - Victor Panlilio
Re: drinking — surround yourself with trusted, reliable friends. Last time I got drunk, my friends took me home and tucked me in. No driving involved, we just walked across the road to the house where I was staying. :) - Victor Panlilio
Robert: mixing drinks, in my experience, is a BAD idea. Beer + scotch = room moves even when my head is still. :D - Victor Panlilio
nothing against hip hop or anything like that. i just hate eminem's music. i like stuff like jurassic 5, greydon square etc... - Terry O'Fee
not a bad parent... just a progressive one.. maybe even hip? - titaniar
As long as you introduce him to the new Motorhead too. :D - MarkCarras
haven't heard it yet, will have to check that out. I love Eminem. - Thomas Hawk
Hmm, is anyone else surprised that Eminem's still around? Although I'm not exactly a rap fan. - Tyson Key
naa, Id be more surprised if Em wasn't still around Tyson - Zee.
It's not that great! - Joe Dawson
Embrace it. At least you're not a lame parent. - Eric - Final Countdown
Nah..I raise my kids on hard rock, punk, jazz, hip hop, you name it, since they were little....I just use a little discretion when needed. - Seagate
Robert - I think that makes you a GREAT parent. Why? Because you understand and appreciate your son's world. Music is a very large component of youth culture and development. Your shared interest connects you and shows that you care about his world... that is huge! Many parents do not care to learn or appreciate their kids interests. So I think the fact that you do care really is cool!! :) - Susan Beebe
With lyrics like "Lick the wonder cheese from under my nuts" it sounds like a great father-son bonding song</sarcasm> - Dylan Parker
Eeewwwwww!! *gross* - Susan Beebe
yeah makes sense !!! teaches the kid the qualities of team work, unity, collaboration (50 cent, dr dre and eminem..!!...don't act like a snobby model !!!!! okay who am i kiddin ! Will the real slim shady please stand up !!! - Sai