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RT @StephenAtHome: I can always sense when there's cheese nearby. I've got excellent ched-dar.
RT @newscientist: Check this out. Risk of dying a violent death, from the Stone Age to now #war
RT @StephenAtHome: Is there a Norton Anti-Virus, but for your body? Asking for a friend who just opened the wrong email with his mouth.
RT @markjaquith: Any C++ coders want to help with what should be a simple fix in HHVM to make WordPress cookies work fully?
RT @markjaquith: Just got a dynamic WordPress page to load (no HTML output caching) and transfer to the browser in 58ms using HHVM. Ping to the server: 27ms.
RT @TheTweetOfGod: THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS 1 Laugh. 2 Read. 3 Say please. 4 Floss. 5 Doubt. 6 Exercise. 7 Learn. 8 Don't hate. 9 Cut the bullshit. 10 Chill.
Disney implicated in worldwide pneumonia epidemic; child victims consistently claiming not bothered by cold anyway.
I did poorly in college calculus due to weak trigonometry. Filling the gaps in my math education at @khanacademy feels really, really good.
Retweet if you think the zero key should come before the one key. Favorite if you think keyboards need a ten key.
RT @SteveMartinToGo: Trusting wife approaching, forcing dog to smoke pot while gorging myself with knife-fed peanut butter.
RT @alternatekev: First person plural future
RT @_youhadonejob: I'm not sure Disney has got a grasp on the concept of pirates.
RT @GaryPendergast: "You don't tolerate my intolerance, so *you're* the intolerant one!" is probably my favourite internet argument.
RT @IanMartin: On #AutismAwareness Day I'd like to apologise for all those times I saw a child kicking off and made a moral judgement about parenting.
RT @GrantWoods: How can this be? Saddest picture in a long time: each flag marks a veteran's suicide since Jan. 1--average 22 a day.”
RT @aggiezoe: @skeltoac with Lella on a beautiful spring day.
RT @aggiezoe: Spring in Texas is prepayment for the summer.
Shared tequila at #CheapThrills (@drafthousefilms) w/ @timalamo: snort a line of salt, do shot, squeeze limes in your eyes. Would do again.
RT @hughlaurie: I'm sticking to this. If you're too delicate to share a world with other sweating, moulting human beings, live in a purell bottle.
These are reminiscent of very good strawberries.
RT @paleofuture: i just hope the new cold war gets us to mars this time
RT @michae1mitchell: My new mission at Thomas. Coming soon.
I got you some ice for your crotch -
I got you some ice for your crotch
Notwithstanding having laughed out loud at the punchline, I ask @ZachWeiner @SMBCComics: what if the solution itself is part of the problem?
RT @iammattthomas: @tellyworth Chrome OS, Glass, even Android — clearly designed by and for unreconstructed nerds.
RT @tellyworth: I've been wondering who the target market is for the Pixel and Glasses. Empirically, it seems the answer is @iammattthomas.
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