This is the only thing I've read from her that has made any sense to me thus far. But I'm still working on it. - cecily

LOL @ this is the only thing I've read from her that has made any sense to me thus far. I have a little bit of Pema, so I couldn't tell you if the rest of her stuff is easier, etc. - Ms. G.Warbucks IYN

It's not her writing, it's the concepts that I find difficult. I don't find any particular comfort in the notion of accepting loneliness, accepting suffering, accepting pain. I've spent far too much of my life in those states, and I think I'm due for a little relief. I know the teachings suggest that desire is the cause of all this pain, but I can't think of any good reason why I'd want to embrace pain. I'm not saying I need to be happy go lucky for the rest of my life, but I do need not to hurt. - cecily

Understandable. I'm mulling over your comment and thinking about how to respond. - Ms. G.Warbucks IYN

Saying "I'm due" sounds awfully entitled and that's not how I meant it. Instead I guess I could say that finding some relief from these conditions would be very, very welcome. - cecily

yeah, pema is hard in that regard. it's like "what? i'm supposed to accept the idea that life isn't sunshine, rainbows and unicorns?" but i personally found some relief in that. it's like some pressure was removed. hmm... i think i need to reread that book. - tiffany

What tiffany said. +93 tiffany - Ms. G.Warbucks IYN

only 93? - tiffany

++7 more for a nice round +100 :) - Ms. G.Warbucks IYN

I'm a melancholy soul by nature, so I don't expect happiness even in the best of situations. But pain? Suffering? That just doesn't sound like any kind of life I want to lead (anymore). I've done hopelessness. It ain't cute. So that's why I'm struggling when reading this particular work (When Things Fall Apart), because all the work I'm doing with my therapist flies in the face of almost everything Chodron outlines in her book. I'm trying to resolve the differences, but according to her, resolution is impossible and undesirable, and I should just learn to live with ambiguity. *facepalm* - cecily

dang it. you're about to make me re-read this book :). i think her point is not to "embrace" or "accept" as in "wear it like a cloak," but rather to acknowledge that it is there, make peace with it, and know that it's not lasting and permanent. just in my own head, sometimes saying "i feel anxious today. i'm going to roll with that and treat myself well and assume i'll feel better tomorrow or the next day" really helps calm me down. - tiffany

Yeah, I didn't mean to suggest that she's saying to wear those emotions like a cloak. I must not be reading it very closely (which is entirely possible) because it seems to me that she's suggesting that even the idea of "I'll assume I'll feel better tomorrow" is something that is based on hope and desire, and as long as we live with those emotions in our lives, we'll always set ourselves up for disappointment. If I didn't have hope, I'd never get out of bed. - cecily

What text is this? Cause I'm kinda feeling like this now. - Derrick

D., I read it this afternoon on the site Shambhala Sun. It's from an author - Pema Chodron - who wrote a book called "When Things Fall Apart". I don't know if this is actually from the book (because I haven't finished reading it) but it is one of Chodron's writings. The article is here: http://www.shambhalasun.com/index... - cecily

This seems like something I should read. Also, I love tiffany's comment about feeling less pressure. - joey

Thanks, C. I'll make a note of it. - Derrick

Just wanted to say that it's thought-provoking conversations like these that are making me fall in love with FF. Being able to let go and allow life to happen has been my major issue and it is Struggle. I've been listening to Pema's audiobook on grief/trauma and it's challenging but I'm learning to incorporate some of the principles. - Kisha, Well Conditioned from BuddyFeed

I think the bigger lesson for me in all of this is for me to let go of my distrust and skepticism. - cecily from IM

i think you're reading it *too* closely c :-) ...saying you'll feel better tomorrow is not based on hope and desire (unless, of course, it is). it's just an understanding that "this too shall pass." NOTHING -- not even the bad times -- are permanent. you are who you are and you deserve loving kindness at this very moment. ... and yes, these are tough concepts to put into practice :-) - tiffany

It's entirely possible, tiffany. Maybe I just need to put it aside and come back to it at some later time. I don't know if I'm ready. - cecily