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Slippy
"If it doesn't fit, hit it with a hammer. If it still doesn't fit, then you need a bigger hammer"
So Patrick Stewart performed a head-in-hands gesture that was SO close to the Picard Facepalm I almost LOL'd.
Your Siri sounds like Majel Barrett. Ours doesn't. That's the only reason I didn't buy an iPhone. Well, apart from all the other reasons.
Jennifer Dittrich liked this
Admit it. You have a Scottish accent.
- Spidra Webster
OhGizmo! » Archive » Start Building That Bunker: We’ve Reached The Quadrotor Nano-Bot Formation Flying Stage - http://www.ohgizmo.com/2012...
Halil liked this
Oh, puh-leez! Those aren't nano. They're barely even micro.
- Slippy
from Bookmarklet
Okay America, so I guess you are aware of Piers Morgan. You know he used to be the editor of one of our more salubrious tabloid newspapers, right? Here's your trivia of the day: Before being editor of the whole paper he was editor (and public face) of the celeb/gossip/trash pages. A position subsequently held by a chap named Dom....
Halil, Joe Sausage and Stephen Mack liked this
...You might know Dom. He quit to become a Hobbit, then got a role in Lost.
- Slippy
So obviously, posing for crap photos with a bunch of bottom-of-the-barrel, so-called "celebrities" is the gateway to fame and fortune in America. The Sun's "Bizzarre" column is now edited by a guy called Gordon Smart. He'll probably become your President or something next.
- Slippy
Correction to original post that won't fit in an edit: Piers was editor of the celeb/gossip/trash pages of the leading competitor to the tabloid he then became editor of.
- Slippy
Forgotten chocolate = surprise chocolate. Yay! [edit] Forgotten, Surprise, Intentional, In Polite Company, and Secret. What other kinds of chocolate are there?
Halil, Derrick, #LBflail and 5 other people liked this
That is THE BEST kind of chocolate. Ever!!
- Helensleydale
Apart from the fact that it doesn't seem to last as long as Intentional chocolate.
- Slippy
NO chocolate is meant to last. :-) I've heard of drive-by chocolate (Nutella) offings...
- Uli ¯
Chocolate In Polite Company is the longest-lasting of all the chocolates. Secret Chocolate has the shortest life.
- Slippy
Ah, how stupid of me. I forgot, there is one chocolate which, though we love it more than all the other chocolates, manages to last longer than even that rarest of rare things, Unliked Chocolate. That longest-lasting of all the chocolates is, of course, Promised Chocolate.
- Slippy
Chocolate in Polite Company I can't do. I'd rather forego the deliciousness than have to pretend I am anything other than its willing slave. Secret Surprise Chocolate is the absolute very best.
- WoH: Minding her Botts
True, Higlet, Secret Surprise chocolate is, indeed, more awesome than the sum of its parts. The existence of Unseen-and-Revealed Secret Surprise Chocolate In An Obvious Place remains, to this day, merely a rumour.
- Slippy
A blogger on a certain blog recently said "I use Siri to dictate text messages." ........ Really? Is this a thing? They also said "Unfortunately I can't use Siri to dictate emails." ..... Really? You want that to be a thing too? You have the phone in your hand, and you're willing to speak....why not just say "Siri, call [insert name here]"....?
I declared some time ago that I would from then onwards always type #asciidrowningman instead of lol. I forgot about it soon afterwards, and since returned to typing lol to signify amusement or humorous intent. My point in making this post, though, is merely to point out to you that from this point in time until you are distracted or forget...
Halil and Stephen Mack liked this
...(unless the next occurence puts you in....
- Slippy
...mind of this post)....
- Slippy
...it is eminently likely that....
- Slippy
...you won't be able to see a lol without being distracted from the intention of the lol by the little ASCII drowning man.
- Slippy
... lol
- Slippy
:-)
- Slippy
You're welcome.
- Slippy
Ever since http://friendfeed.com/joshhal... I presume?
- Stephen Mack
Incidentally, I didn't declare the start of #asciidrowningman until a few months after Josh's post. Yeah, I'm *that* fast.
- Slippy
Tuesdays aren't normally anything worth writing home about. Nor is having a zillion unread items in Google Reader. Combine the two though? I can read all this stuff about why Mondays suck and think "Hah, I just defeated Tuesday and you poor bastards are stuck at Monday. Suckaaaaaz!"
WoH: Minding her Botts liked this
Okay, so we all knew Honda's new "Ferris Bueller" ad was good, but did we know HOW good? No? Watch this. http://www.youtube.com/watch...
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Actually, it's not THAT good. This vid is from AkooTV, and it's one of their editors who made this side-by-side comparison - tirelessly clipping and rearranging scenes from the movie to fit alongside the advert. This is a work of art in its own right.
- Slippy
My most favouritest phrase ever is "Closed timelike curve". What's yours?
MoTO Bott, LibrarianOnTheLoose, Victor Ganata and Jimminy, CoG of FF liked this
"Autumnal moon"
- Stephen Mack
"Monopoly of Violence"
- Brian Johns
"This space intentionally left blank."
- Jimminy, CoG of FF
"collocation of distributed relatives"
- Pete
I had to look up "collocation", Pete. Turns out the source of your quote probably meant "convocation" :-)
- Slippy
"Mind your wants because someone wants your mind."
- MoTO Bott
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Just found out last week that it comes from Bambi. I thought I'd blocked out everything about that truly terrifying film that my parents took me to see as a 'treat' when I was 5 or 6.
- Helensleydale
slippy- pretty sure collocation :) It's a classification term. But convocation is nice, too!
- Pete
Argh. Sister made a facebook post - said "collage" instead of "college". Must....Not....Correct....Sister...!GNNNNN!
Micah, Stephen Mack, Morton Fox and Brent liked this
Ah, now I know why Google has me pegged in the "18-24" age bracket. Yeah, I just said "totally pwn that dude". I totally just got pwned by the Goog.
Jimminy, CoG of FF liked this
Somebody made a "funny" on the internet. A meme post somewhere (I forget where) stating "Watching soccer" and subtitled "Wait an eternity for a goal." I was tempted to respond with "Watching American Football. Wait an eternity for a display of skill over brute force." I didn't though.
Bird-botts and Jimminy, CoG of FF liked this
Buuuuut I can't claim the moral high ground, because I just made this post here. :-)
- Slippy
Double irony (possibly) - I don't particularly care for either game, although good ol' footie is watchable in the right company.
- Slippy
Watching soccer - waiting for a professional athlete to fake an injury over and over and over.
- Ross Miller
You don't have to wait an eternity for that, though. :-P
- Bird-botts
And in fairness, if they wore plate armour like in the American game of "catch the egg, run 10 yards and stop for an ad break" those that "take a dive" (in the common parlance) in the game of football (as the rest of the world calls it) would be ignored.
- Slippy
I'm always telling people how patient and understanding my employers have been with my mental health issues affecting my timekeeping, but I get the feeling that my supervisor is neither patient nor understanding. Today, just as we were about to clock out at finishing time, he offhandedly said "So are you working tomorrow or not going to bother?"
I was quite annoyed and not a little upset by that. I said "I'll try. I always do." but inside I was seething. He may not have realised what he was saying, but I really wanted to give him a lecture on how it's never a case of "not bothering" and that quite often I'll work myself to the point of exhaustion just because I feel bad about always being late or not being able to work at all on some days. I don't choose to be broke all the time. There aren't bailiffs knocking on my door every day because I "can't be bothered" to work.
- Slippy
I see the current tv campaign has not got to him, then.
- Pete
"If I wasn't going to bother; I'd shove my foot up your butt right now." So stupid. I'm sorry.
- Jimminy, CoG of FF
Sorry, Slippy.
- Stephen Mack
Indeed, Pete. In fact, next time he makes an off-the-cuff comment, I might just start talking to my shoe. :-)
- Slippy
It's all good. Just needed to vent.
- Slippy
I'm sorry, Slippy. He needs a good old dose of sensitivity training. With your boot.
- WoH: Minding her Botts
Okay, so we've got two votes for a dose of my steel-toecapped size tens to his hind quarters. You know what? I think I WILL go to work tomorrow. Boots and all. :-)
- Slippy
Attaboy!
- WoH: Minding her Botts
Spectator Approved « Bits and Pieces - http://bitsandpieces.us/2012...
Jimminy, CoG of FF liked this
Do I need a reason to link this? No? I didn't think so.
- Slippy
from Bookmarklet
Viking New Year WIN - Win! - http://wins.failblog.org/2012...
:-)
- Slippy
from Bookmarklet
Bread sharing - http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2012...
Jimminy, CoG of FF, Bird-botts and Jennifer Dittrich liked this
As far as I'm concerned, this wins the internet....forever.
- Slippy
from Bookmarklet
Heh, thanks Google for pegging me in the 18-24 age range. Imma go ahead and take that as a compliment rather than a suggestion that I should grow up.
Jennifer Dittrich, Bird-botts and #LBflail liked this
On the subject of "targeted advertising", I know a few of my partners over the years have been older than me, but what's with all the ads for "mature dating" sites?
- Slippy
Hehe, I kept getting that. It's not as if I've been searching for Carol Vorderman pictures,
- Pete
Minecraft, it keeps you young.
- Jimminy, CoG of FF
It is being said that the reasons for the existence of highly-energetic charged particles (those reasons being that they must be emitted in the first year of a pulsar's life) are both "unlikely" and "oddly specific". My answer? Surely ALL pulsars must have a first year of life?
*le sigh* even io9 seem to have done away with proofreading their articles these days.
The Scream WIN - Win! - http://wins.failblog.org/2012...
Halil, Kelly, SteVe C and 6 other people liked this
It's rare these days that I link anything from the repetitious cheezburger network, but this one made me smile.
- Slippy
from Bookmarklet
Hee!
- Shannon - GlassMistress
This guy, bringin' a little love to the girl at the drive-thru, is awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch...
Aww, hey, why didn't it show an embedded vid? That sucks. Musta done something wrong. You should click through anyway to see a guy serenading the drive-thru lady with his order. It's sweet and funny.
- Slippy
I'll see your "eggy in a basket" and raise you one avocado: - http://www.neatorama.com/2012...
Halil, Jennifer Dittrich, Jimminy, CoG of FF and Zulema ⋅ spicy cocoa tart liked this
Image from Neatorama, title by Slippy.
- Slippy
from Bookmarklet
Yum! (Except for the runny yolk :P )
- Zulema ⋅ spicy cocoa tart
I.....what? I don't even.... HOW THE HELL? This woman has no bones, it's the only explanation: http://www.youtube.com/watch...
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People who are being "original" by putting their emoticons backwards: Please stop, I keep thinking you're unhappy when you're really smiling. Everyone knows it's supposed to be the other way around.
Kelli H. ☃, edythe, M F and 6 other people liked this
(: :) :( ):
- Stephen Mack
It depends on which side of the equator you're on. There's a correlation between which way the toilet bowl swirls when it flushes and how people perceive the direction of emoticons. I did my PhD thesis on this.
- Tinfoil 2.0
Yarg Siuol
- Micah
from FFHound(roid)!
It also depends on how old you are. Teenagers get under my skin with this.
- Jimminy, CoG of FF
x_x
- Victor Ganata
My stepdaughter does that, and it (among many other things about her typing) drives me absolutely batty
- Curdy G
\(^_^)/ <--- backwards emoticon.
- Bird-botts
LogEx - I guess you failed your PhD thesis then. Twice over.
- Slippy
Also, you ALL missed the joke. )-:
- Slippy
So at work today, I used my ff tagline in an actual conversation. Two components that are supposed to connect together wouldn't do so, so I took them to one of the engineers and said "I tried, it didn't fit, so I tried hitting it with a hammer. That didn't work either, so I used a bigger hammer." He laughed, then hit it with his hand. Now it fits.
Stephen Mack and WoH: Minding her Botts liked this
Sometimes a hammer is just a hammer. And sometimes it's a fist. Hamfisted. Ok, I'm done.
- WoH: Minding her Botts
Guess who holds the world record for infecting Slippy with an earworm? "Old man, look at my life, I'm a lot like yooooou were"
Greg Guitarbuster and Jimminy, CoG of FF liked this
:D
- Jimminy, CoG of FF
That's from like 4 days ago. :)
- Jimminy, CoG of FF
With my attention span, that's a recor....oh look, something shiny.
- Slippy
The world record is 20 days, 3 hours, and 17 minutes. Have fun with Mr. Young...it's gonna be a while. :P
- Bubba Botts
This is an earworm I'm HAPPY to be stuck with, Bubba :-)
- Slippy
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